qwertyuiop Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Hey all, i have a question i am not sure about myself. I have been dating this girl for about 3 weeks now, and we really hit it off great, better than anyone ive dated thus far(im 20). We have worked together for about 4 years, but never done anythign together until now and we are getting very close(kissing, "cuddling"), but i havent made any serious advances yet, as due to this. Last night after we finished watching a movie at my house she mentioned that she wanted me to know that she isnt ready for a serious relationship due to the "crazy boyfriend" as she put it, that she had about 3 months ago. She did say that she loves spending time with me, and didnt say anything about wanting to just be friends etc etc. I know she isnt dating anyone but me, and has never hesitated when i ask her to do something. I am positive that she really likes me, but i am ready for a serious relationship, but im not sure how much i should allow myself to become interested in her. Should i just stick it out, and just let her get even more comfortable with me, or does she need to resolve something with the ex first, as she has sadi she hates him and i know strong emotions of any kind are not good if left unresolved. SO what is the best advice you guys can give?? If it makes any difference shes 19, so age isnt a factor here. Thanks.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Imagine that what you have with her now, is all you are ever going to have with her - because that's the likely course. It sounds like she likes you enough to go out with you and hang out, but not enough to be your girlfriend in a serious relationship. You will have to adapt to that, or leave. Understand that when she says she isn't 'looking for a serious relationship' she is saying that she isn't looking for it with you, and is basically using you as a placeholder for a guy that she will want a serious relationship with. Maybe that guy will be you, maybe it won't but one thing is for sure. What you have now, is all you can expect.
Cecelius Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 What LB said... I would: 1) Take this relationship very light and assume nothing will come of it, but you enjoy your time with her 2) Realize the above and take it to heart; SEE OTHER GIRLS 3) Become more scarce-- this will be tough since you work with her, but spend less time with her, keep it light, fun and short. She's not your g/f, don't give away your time to her. You will not become b/f material by spending lots of time with her.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 if a woman really likes or loves a dude she does not tell him that she doesn't want to get involved. it is a basic fact of life.
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