Opium Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue I agree with Westernxer about love having to be tested. Everyone is giving me mixed answers. Don't know what it is. Cause I feel the butterflies and the anxiousness when I see him. But then when i see him I want to have the nastiest sex ever. Hopefully its what Opium said that I do have really strong feelings for him and we do have such great sex b/c we have such wonderful feelings for each other. I'm glad I can help Think about other times you've had sexual relationships with someone, was it meaningful or was it just a good lay? The difference is obvious if you just want to get a quick lay/orgasm instead of feeling strong for someone and it being incredible sex. You should feel lucky that you have a good sex life with your man because I'm sure as you read here in LS some relationships have no sex drive and are miserable because their partner doesn't satisfy them enough. Come to think of it, that's probably a good percent of why people cheat and have affairs, do make themselves better and wanted. Ultimately you have to continue doing what you're doing and letting some time pass by. Eventually you'll know if these feelings are true love or just a phase and lust. You know that saying when people ask you "How do you know"? Well you just do, you'll know if this is a strong bond or not. You'll feel it!
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Star Gazer Holy crap. I'm agreeing with alpha!! He does nail it sometimes
Opium Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 But either way, you've got to give yourself ample time to figure that out...and you need to spend time together NOT having sex to find passion for him that's not all about naked, sweaty romps. That's a good idea! Try to slow it down with the sex and see how you feel, it could give you some answers.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Star Gazer Holy crap. I'm agreeing with alpha!! naked, sweaty romps. mmmm....NAKED SWEATY ROMPS....mmmmm
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Thanx Star Gazer. We do spend a lot of time not having sex. Like last night we went for a nice walk around his block. Talking about any and everything. But then all of a sudden he grabs my hand and we go to the park and have sex. And when we were done, we carried on our conversation. Plus when I mentioned to him I was afraid this was lust, he said that he doesn't have to have sex with me for a month, my company is enough. And i feel the same way. I'm sticking to "The sex is so good cause we have true feelings for each other" suggestion.
Outcast Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 butterflies and the anxiousness That's infatuation. So? How would you feel if he was burned and scarred?
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by JPMorgan If it feels good / thrilling / exciting / heart-racing / hot / like you could faint from the feeling: It's Lust If it hurts / scares you / makes you feel sick to your stomach: It's Love. Holy s***, that's bang on. Great way of comparing lust/love! I remember when I first starting dating my now hubby - Back then I couldn't eat around him, felt all fluttery and he made me wanna throw-up! Later on I would PIG out when I got home. I think he must have thought I didn't eat. I did let him in on why and he was flattered! Originally posted by alphamale mmmm....NAKED SWEATY ROMPS....mmmmm And with this type of hot weather, makes it even stickier and hotter...Hmmmmm...
Outcast Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 I remember when I first starting dating my now hubby - Back then I couldn't eat around him, felt all fluttery and he made me wanna throw-up! Later on I would PIG out when I got home. I think he must have thought I didn't eat That is also infatuation. The way you feel about your husband now is love.
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Oh definately. I knew he was the one before he even knew I liked him. I just knew...And hey, 12 1/2 years later, here we are... All I know is, when the time comes we have to leave this Earth, I hope I go before he does...I don't ever want to experience that loss...
JPMorgan Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale what WEST means is that true love will stand the tests of time and the ups and downs of a relationship. when times are good its easy to love someone but when times are bad its much harder to love someone. say, for instance, if you became paralyzed....would your spouse still love you and be there for you??? he is required to post his IP address in every reply due to the proxy service he is using at work. Thanks. That's what I thought at first but then I thought that maybe he meant that we had to test ourselves and our partners to see if its love (like create our own drama to see if they leave us or stay). I know there are some people who do think that way. I just don't agree with it. IP address -- weird! I wonder if I'm supposed to do that (probably)!
JPMorgan Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Holy s***, that's bang on. Great way of comparing lust/love! I remember when I first starting dating my now hubby - Back then I couldn't eat around him, felt all fluttery and he made me wanna throw-up! Later on I would PIG out when I got home. I think he must have thought I didn't eat. I did let him in on why and he was flattered! That's what I meant! I did the same thing -- never ate around any guy I was dating, but with my husband I felt weird and like I was going to throw up. It hurt because I was afraid of something happening to him (not to us, but to him) and I wouldnt' be strong enough to help him, or I would be a burden to him and that hurt and scared me. We had the lust thing going on at the same time too!
Marshbear1 Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 If the two of you couldn't have sex for what ever reason, would you still be with him and care soooo much? Would you do anything for him and try to never hurt him? If your answer is, YES, the you are in love.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 12, 2005 Author Posted August 12, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear1 If the two of you couldn't have sex for what ever reason, would you still be with him and care soooo much? Would you do anything for him and try to never hurt him? If your answer is, YES, the you are in love. See I do feel all this and do it all. But then I also show qualities that its lust. I think its a combonation of the 2. 70% Love 30% Lust
Opium Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue See I do feel all this and do it all. But then I also show qualities that its lust. I think its a combonation of the 2. 70% Love 30% Lust That's not good! I wouldn't make plans to move in with someone if I didn't love them or think I had a future with him. You should consider your feelings a little more and not think of any future plans until you feel this is real. You don't want to move forward in a relationship that you lust over, in the end you'll be really unhappy and it would be hard to get out.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 12, 2005 Author Posted August 12, 2005 Originally posted by Opium That's not good! I wouldn't make plans to move in with someone if I didn't love them or think I had a future with him. You should consider your feelings a little more and not think of any future plans until you feel this is real. You don't want to move forward in a relationship that you lust over, in the end you'll be really unhappy and it would be hard to get out. That's why were waiting 8 months. I want it to bee 100% love. My last relationship failed and I finally found a guy who it absolutely wonderful. I'm not screwing this one up
Opium Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue That's why were waiting 8 months. I want it to bee 100% love. My last relationship failed and I finally found a guy who it absolutely wonderful. I'm not screwing this one up Good! At least you're aware that these feelings are strong but how strong is the question? You'll know when time comes if you want to run away or run into his arms. Just dont' be afraid! Give it your all so at least you know you did your part and your mind will be clear of regrets. I think the problem is exactly what you just said. You're probably use too jerks and guys you treat you unfairly ( as most woman are use too) and now that you have a good guy, you're wondering if it's actually possible to have a good guy by your side. I asked myself the same question when I met my guy, and it took me a while to realize I deserve it!
thegoodhubbie Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup All I know is, when the time comes we have to leave this Earth, I hope I go before he does...I don't ever want to experience that loss... My wife has said the same thing to me. "I hope I go before you because I couldn't handle it." To me that is the nicest thing you can say to your partner and shows how deeply you love them. I absolutely agree with the majority here that if you couldn't have sex with him and still care and want to stick around FOR LIFE, then it is definitely love. And if you have lust added to that, holy **** hang on, because the sex just gets BETTER. Kind of a paradox isn't it? The more you love someone the better the sex gets, but the more you simply lust for them, the sex gets stale and the flame dies. Anyway, that's my two cents
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 12, 2005 Author Posted August 12, 2005 Originally posted by thegoodhubbie The more you love someone the better the sex gets, but the more you simply lust for them, the sex gets stale and the flame dies. Very good point. Thanx!
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