IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 I was with my BF last night when we started getting into a deep conversation about "US". I said that I love the way things are going....How we are planning on moving in together in about 8 months and blah blah blah, same 'ol s***. So then I brought up our sex. How amazing it is and how we can't keep our hands off of each other. Its like raw animal sex. So me being the worry ward that I am, asked him what if what were feeling is lust. He got this puppy dog look on his face, raised his eyebrows, frowned and said "Babe, Why would your think that" "Of course not sweetheart, This is love, not lust" So I'm thinking to myself, "I know you love me dumbass, I was talking about me thinking its lust" "You already proclaimed your love for me" But seriously, my question is, How do you know if its love or lust? All week I can't wait to see him. I even took a trip there (2 Hours away) last night to see him. But the second I see him I just want to rip his clothes off and do it right there on the floor. And I'm afaraid that the strong feeling that I'm feeling is lust. How can ya tell?
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 sounds like its mostly sexual on your end....that would be lust.
Opium Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 All week I can't wait to see him. I even took a trip there (2 Hours away) last night to see him. Would you do this for someone you really don't care for or love? It's the beginning of the relationship, ENJOY IT! I've been with my bf for about 2 years and till this day when I see him I want to rip his clothes off and jump on him because he's so gorgeous. Why would that be a bad thing? After some time you would think that the feeling would die out, but it doesn't, at least for me. Don't start putting thoughts into your head and trying to analyze something because it may be "to good to be true" type of thing. So you want to rip your mans clothes off and make love to him, hey sounds like love to me not lust. And plus if you really didn't love him and it was lust would you make plans for the future?
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Opium Would you do this for someone you really don't care for or love? It's the beginning of the relationship, ENJOY IT! I've been with my bf for about 2 years and till this day when I see him I want to rip his clothes off and jump on him because he's so gorgeous. Why would that be a bad thing? After some time you would think that the feeling would die out, but it doesn't, at least for me. Don't start putting thoughts into your head and trying to analyze something because it may be "to good to be true" type of thing. So you want to rip your mans clothes off and make love to him, hey sounds like love to me not lust. And plus if you really didn't love him and it was lust would you make plans for the future? Well put Opium. I do have this to-good-to-be-true attitude towards things. But then I hope my vision isn't fogged by the mistaken feeling of love. Were making plans for the future, yes, but I'm afarid my decisions are being made hastily b/c I think its love but it could be lust. AHHHHHHHHHHH This shouldn't be this hard!
Opium Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Well put Opium. I do have this to-good-to-be-true attitude towards things. But then I hope my vision isn't fogged by the mistaken feeling of love. Were making plans for the future, yes, but I'm afarid my decisions are being made hastily b/c I think its love but it could be lust. AHHHHHHHHHHH This shouldn't be this hard! I know exactly what you're going through. You feel like "is this it, is this the person I'm suppose to be with"? It's hard to be in a relationship but from the beginning you've been very excited about this guy and don't think to much about it. Just try to live it day by day. Be lucky that you have someone to share your life with. So you think it's not love and it's lust. Test yourself and your feelings. Can you picture yourself without him? How does he make you feel when he kisses you? Does he take care of you as a man should? Does he respect you and give you everything you want and need? IHNFC, have you ever been in love before? Compare the feelings, and if you haven't well then you're confused because you've never been this happy before and you've never shared feelings this intimate with someone.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue but I'm afarid my decisions are being made hastily b/c I think its love but it could be lust. AHHHHHHHHHHH This shouldn't be this hard! how long have u 2 been together? love is something that usually occurs over a longer period of time when u both have been thru the ups and downs but still stick togehter.
Tony427 Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 I think this one is fairly easy... I know you enjoy the sex but would you still care for him if you couldn't have sex with him??? Imagine he suddenly decided to wait until marriage to have sex anymore but wouldn't be ready to get married for another couple years. Could you wait that long for him? I think if can answer that you will have your answer. I know it will probably be a pretty hard thing to admit to yourself if you decide that you couldn't wait for him but it may be the only way to know for sure.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 About 4 months. And i never said the I was in love with him before you get all macho and condescending and say some stupid remark. But i do have strong feeling for him and I was asking the simple questions to know the difference between lust and love.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue About 4 months. And i never said the I was in love with him before you get all macho and condescending and say some stupid remark. You'll find out within the next 6 to 8 months whether it is true love or not...
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale You'll find out within the next 6 to 8 months whether it is true love or not... Thanx Alpha, Good advice!
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Yup Alpha is right. Once the "f*** 24/7" stage slows down, then you find out if it's just lust or love. I hope it's a combo of both! That's just the best!
elijahBailey Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 ok, this isn't gonna sound elegant but since you asked... ahem, jerk yourself off.... right after, ask yourself if the feelings are still there this removes all the physical factors and let you think more objectively. sorry for being blunt
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by elijahBailey ok, this isn't gonna sound elegant but since you asked... ahem, jerk yourself off.... right after, ask yourself if the feelings are still there this removes all the physical factors and let you think more objectively. sorry for being blunt I don't get it, sorry. What would masturbating have to do with me finding out if its lust or not? And be as blunt as possible, please.
elijahBailey Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue I don't get it, sorry. What would masturbating have to do with me finding out if its lust or not? And be as blunt as possible, please. Well, I think this works more from a guy's angle. Most of the time we *lust* for some women, but we *love* our wives.... I think But, yeah, guys can compartmentalize, so, by removing the lust, whatever remains (if any ) should be love Maybe it doesn't work for women because women can't compartmentalize....
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by elijahBailey Maybe it doesn't work for women because women can't compartmentalize.... Agreed.
Outcast Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 I don't agree that you should not question this. Not enough people question whether their emotions are real love, get married, and find out the feelings wear off soon enough. Maybe that's not what happened for Opium but that will be an exception and she's lucky. Google 'love or infatuation'. There's several sites I found that have good information for you to use. Then think about how you'd feel if he got really fat or if he was burned and scarred. Do the Christopher Reeve test - if he was paralyzed for life and got fat and bald, would you still feel the same?
Opium Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast I don't agree that you should not question this. Not enough people question whether their emotions are real love, get married, and find out the feelings wear off soon enough. Maybe that's not what happened for Opium but that will be an exception and she's lucky. Google 'love or infatuation'. There's several sites I found that have good information for you to use. Then think about how you'd feel if he got really fat or if he was burned and scarred. Do the Christopher Reeve test - if he was paralyzed for life and got fat and bald, would you still feel the same? Yes I am very very lucky and I thank God for my blessings as she should too. I just think she's thinking to much into it and not letting enough time to pass by to really answer her question. Only time will tell and honestly if something happened to my bf (someone I have plans to marry) I would stand by his side and wipe his azz if I have to, Why? Because I love him. Simple, nothing more nothing less. IHNFC, just give it some time like alpha said and then you question your feelings. But right now it's the "oh my gosh this is perfect" stage and eventually you'll get to the dirty stuff. I'm not saying my relationship is all roses and cup cakes but I know because of the love we have we can overcome anything.
JPMorgan Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 If it feels good / thrilling / exciting / heart-racing / hot / like you could faint from the feeling: It's Lust If it hurts / scares you / makes you feel sick to your stomach: It's Love.
Opium Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by JPMorgan If it feels good / thrilling / exciting / heart-racing / hot / like you could faint from the feeling: It's Lust If it hurts / scares you / makes you feel sick to your stomach: It's Love. Good way of putting it!!
Outcast Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 If it hurts / scares you / makes you feel sick to your stomach: It's Love. Nope. Wrongo. If it's warm and fills you with comfort and peace, it's love. Drama = infatuation.
JPMorgan Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast Nope. Wrongo. If it's warm and fills you with comfort and peace, it's love. Drama = infatuation. Nope. I am not wrong. Please don't speak for me.
westernxer Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Love has to be tested... it's the only way to be sure. Romantic love doesn't count, neither does passion.
JPMorgan Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Love has to be tested... it's the only way to be sure. Romantic love doesn't count, neither does passion. What do you mean by tested? I don't understand. Why do you have what looks like a URL or IP address in white in your post?
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 I agree with Westernxer about love having to be tested. Everyone is giving me mixed answers. Don't know what it is. Cause I feel the butterflies and the anxiousness when I see him. But then when i see him I want to have the nastiest sex ever. Hopefully its what Opium said that I do have really strong feelings for him and we do have such great sex b/c we have such wonderful feelings for each other.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by JPMorgan What do you mean by tested? I don't understand. what WEST means is that true love will stand the tests of time and the ups and downs of a relationship. when times are good its easy to love someone but when times are bad its much harder to love someone. say, for instance, if you became paralyzed....would your spouse still love you and be there for you??? Why do you have what looks like a URL or IP address in white in your post? he is required to post his IP address in every reply due to the proxy service he is using at work.
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