Hayley_Jade Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Ive been with my boyfriend a few years, hes the same age as me. We're both in our 20's. I love him dearly and want us to be together forever without a doubt. My problem is this, the men im attracted to are always older men, never lads the same age. Some older men that I am closer to, and obviously attracted to, I fantasize about having passionate sex with them. Why do you think this is? And be honest with yourselves, whos in a relationship and has these feelings?
she_9325 Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 in my opinion, you can't know you want to be with any one person if you are still thinking about being attracted to anyone else but your significant other. hayley, just keep this in mind... you are still very young. my advice would be to break it off with your bf. go out into the world and live for yourself a bit, meet other people if you want.... but don't hurt your bf by cheating on him.
Jolene Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 You may be thinking, subliminally, that an older man will be more loyal and tolerant because he is somewhat desperate and will be so grateful and thankful for your presence in his life that there will be no limit to his generosities of attention, money, and mad passionate love-making. Well, let me tell you this much...an older man is much much smarter than you are. You can't play a player. You will get hurt more than likely.
aklost101 Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 i agree that you can't play a player. but i must disagree with you saying that older men are much (if any) smarter than a younger woman. i don't buy it at all. nope, not a'tall
newbby Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 You may be thinking, subliminally, that an older man will be more loyal and tolerant because he is somewhat desperate and will be so grateful and thankful for your presence in his life that there will be no limit to his generosities of attention, money, and mad passionate love-making. Well, let me tell you this much...an older man is much much smarter than you are. You can't play a player. You will get hurt more than likely. i agree. i'm not sure about smarter exactly, maybe more secure and in the world and therefore in a stronger position to be a good player.
MadameB Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 I am completely in agreement Hayley. I am in my twenties and have, for as long as I remember, always been attracted to older men. None really old, mid thirties to early forties. Do not want to over analyse though there was a 27 year age gap between my parents, my dad was in his fifties as I was born. Hayley, can I ask if your dad was also older? Maybe there is a connection there, all of my friends have partners more or less the same age as themselves. Older men just seem more self assured and confident (and I do believe they are much better players than their younger counterparts), has little to do with loyalty or tolerance, more like they know what they want...
Marie1973 Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 Hello My ex MM was 21 years older than i was. I am 32, he is 53. I don't see anything wrong with being with older men. They are more secure, passionate, level headed, & know how to treat a woman. But when i am with him, i don't think of anyone else. There is a problem if u are with your boyfriend & thinking about being with an older man. Madameb, Is you dad still living? How was it growing up with an older dad?
MadameB Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 During my childhood I have nothing but good memories. He had an extremely positive and charismatic personality (I have been told this from many, many of his colleagues and friends). Was a complete comic (for his kids, whenever we went to him with a school problem or whatever he always always made us end up crying with laughter and seeing how small our problems were and how we could easily overcome them) and a fantastic storyteller, our house was always full of laughter. However, he had a severe stroke as I turned 12 and was completely parylised down one side, could not walk, could not write or paint (he was a very talented artist; his favourite hobby), however, the saddest part was that he could no longer speak. He passed away a few years ago after living with the stroke for almost 12 years. I personally feel extremely honoured that I was his daughter and was "allowed" to know and love such a wonderful person, albeit for such a short time. He did smoke and was quite a workaholic and these were the reasons for his stroke. If I ever do decide to have children, have to find the husband first though, I would want to make sure that their dad is not taken from them like mine was. Though saying that, how on earth do you do avoid that ? You dont, you just to have to risk it.
Blackfrost Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 The thing to always try to remember about us older guys is - we've already put in the time and effort, to get our financial security and material possessions. It's unfair to look at your early to mid 20's boyfriend and expect him to be able to compete on a level like that (unless he's some genius right out of college). It takes time to build a life and a world wiseness. Plus, if you jump to an older man who has everything, you're really missing out on the deep satisfaction you get from being with your relatively same age partner and building your little empire from nothing to something over the years. I think that's one of the keys to appreciating a good relationship. You've been through the struggling times together, and eventually when you have the things you both want from life, you can just look at your partner and say "if it wasn't for all our hard work together, we wouldn't be so well off." It's a great feeling to build something together, over time, that proves that your teamwork paid off and endured. just my two pence
Marie1973 Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 I rather spend just 5 years with my older man than none at all. I'd take that risk!! He is sooooooooo wonderful & i never met anyone like him. This year I have been to more funerals that ever. My best friend from work died at 50 years old from cancer. My girlfriend from work's father died from a heart attack at 48. As i get older I realize anyone could die at anytime, regardless how old they are!!
Marie1973 Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 hahha thanks ww no we are not back together i will post on verdict is in so i don't steel the post
Hayley_Jade Posted August 14, 2005 Posted August 14, 2005 Thanks everyone for your replies. My parents actually split up when I was young can never remember them together. People always say "its because you've not had a dad around", i don't know the reason why. I can't help the way I feel. My dad was 30 when i was born. When I was at school I fanied one teacher in particular, i was mad on him. Ever since i've left school and I used to go clubbing the men I used to meet were alot older. Then i met a married man but that obviously that never worked out. I then met my boyfriend of four years and I do love him and like what Blackfrost said thats exactly what I want to happen, its just I cant help feeling attracted to older men and thinking these things. Hayley
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