I'm sad, it might be time to call it quits [Updated]

[Redhead14]

First of all, he broke up with you so I would not have responded or even read it because I would be in No Contact mode.

 

But, if I did bother to respond, I would say: "You broke up with me. I do not owe you an explanation for anything I do now. And then, I would block/delete/ignore forever. Not out of spite, but for my own recovery process.

[blooreguardqk]

and another thing: how do you know it was his 'friend' who saw you on Tinder and not him???

 

He texted me a screenshot. So definitely not him.

 

I don't think he's manipulating me by doing this, he's not that type of person. I know him well. I think I just hurt him. Either way, I know I'm allowed to do as I please and he even said it was okay for me to be on tinder but not because I was sad and needed validation.

 

I ended our conversation saying I wouldn't be texting him for a while and not to take it personally. He said he was buying a game today that we were both looking forward to and I can play it whenever I want since I have his steam account.

 

It might sound silly but I play a *****ton of games he has on there and I really don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on games I use to keep myself occupied. Is it still possible to be NC and use that account? Lol.

Edited August 30, 2017 by blooreguardqk
typo

[Zahara]

It might sound silly but I play a *****ton of games he has on there and I really don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on games I use to keep myself occupied. Is it still possible to be NC and use that account? Lol.

 

Yes, it sounds immature. You should be prioritizing your emotional and mental health over video games. Strict NC and focus on healing and moving on.

 

I read your other thread. I think your time and energy should be focused on your self-development - seeking help with a therapist. Expend all your energy in your job search. You should also start stepping out of your comfort zone in an attempt to gain your independence -- join meetups, meditate, take a class, volunteer, travel alone, etc. rather than TV and video games. The latter has zero reward.

 

You invest this time with working on rebuilding your self-esteem. Invest in activities that help empower you.

 

You're being close minded. There is a bigger picture. For now, stay NC and self-preserve. Time to reinvent yourself.

[PacificPlain]

So hey.

 

I can see it from his point of view though. It must've felt ****ty. I said I wouldn't date anyone for a while and it hasn't even been a full week yet and I'm already on tinder.

 

Honestly, I haven't been dealing with this break up very well and I told him so and I made a mistake by going back on tinder. I said I also need more time with myself since I clearly can't deal with being on my own well yet, so I can't be with him right now even if he still wanted to get back together.

 

 

Why would that feel ****ty for him? Wasn't he the person who broke up with you, not the other way around? That means he's been hoping for this--he finally got his wish--you to not be with him!

 

Let's look at the facts: He dumped you. He has no right to dictate whether you have or don't have tinder. I had a similar questioning issue when I redownloaded tinder after my breakup. But then I realized, this was actually what he was hoping for by breaking up with me. If anything, this guy should have been jolted into action by seeing that "screenshot", if he truly wanted to get back together with you: "oh shoot, she's moving on, she's gonna be gone if I don't get it together here." But did he do that? No. He sent you some manipulative text because he wants to keep you on the hook but not actually work things out.

 

Lastly, don't be so sure he didn't see you on tinder himself and it was an ego blow. There is a very well known website that will let you check if someone has tinder, even if you don't have tinder yourself.

[blooreguardqk]

Yes, it sounds immature. You should be prioritizing your emotional and mental health over video games. Strict NC and focus on healing and moving on.

 

I read your other thread. I think your time and energy should be focused on your self-development - seeking help with a therapist. Expend all your energy in your job search. You should also start stepping out of your comfort zone in an attempt to gain your independence -- join meetups, meditate, take a class, volunteer, travel alone, etc. rather than TV and video games. The latter has zero reward.

 

You invest this time with working on rebuilding your self-esteem. Invest in activities that help empower you.

 

You're being close minded. There is a bigger picture. For now, stay NC and self-preserve. Time to reinvent yourself.

 

Thank you. You're right. It won't matter in the long run.

 

Coincidentally (or not), my anxiety has been almost non-existent since we broke up.

 

I have a job lined up right now, but I'm still in the hiring process. Hopefully I can start next week. I just applied for Nursing school and hopefully that doesn't fall through. Debating on starting right away in October or filling my wallet first and starting later in the winter.

 

I've also put in an application to volunteer at the animal shelter, but it takes time (months) for anything to happen there. Been thinking of driving for Lyft as it would be a good way to make money right now and meet random people. My car doesn't look too fancy though.

 

I looked into meet ups, but haven't really found anything that struck my fancy. :/ I dabbled in yoga, but that has to wait until I get my finances in order since the classes are expensive.

 

Although, I have started learning Japanese again on my own. I have a **** ton of books in Japanese just sitting in my room from my youth.

 

Didn't want to make it sound like all I do is play video games (lol) as I go to the gym every single day and will take my dog on long walks around the park if weather allows. I've rekindled a lot of friendships in the past few days, but unfortunately a good portion of them just like to go out and get ****ed up on the weekends. It feels vapid and I get the meat market type of feeling from situations they like to be in. It's not really my thing anymore and I can barely hold my liquor, but it's good for once in a while, not all the time.

 

That steam account is such a goldmine though, ugh. ;_; Guess it's time to say goodbye to it.

[Zahara]

Thank you. You're right. It won't matter in the long run.

 

Coincidentally (or not), my anxiety has been almost non-existent since we broke up.

 

I have a job lined up right now, but I'm still in the hiring process. Hopefully I can start next week. I just applied for Nursing school and hopefully that doesn't fall through. Debating on starting right away in October or filling my wallet first and starting later in the winter.

 

I've also put in an application to volunteer at the animal shelter, but it takes time (months) for anything to happen there. Been thinking of driving for Lyft as it would be a good way to make money right now and meet random people. My car doesn't look too fancy though.

 

I looked into meet ups, but haven't really found anything that struck my fancy. :/ I dabbled in yoga, but that has to wait until I get my finances in order since the classes are expensive.

 

Although, I have started learning Japanese again on my own. I have a **** ton of books in Japanese just sitting in my room from my youth.

 

Didn't want to make it sound like all I do is play video games (lol) as I go to the gym every single day and will take my dog on long walks around the park if weather allows. I've rekindled a lot of friendships in the past few days, but unfortunately a good portion of them just like to go out and get ****ed up on the weekends. It feels vapid and I get the meat market type of feeling from situations they like to be in. It's not really my thing anymore and I can barely hold my liquor, but it's good for once in a while, not all the time.

 

That steam account is such a goldmine though, ugh. ;_; Guess it's time to say goodbye to it.

 

Wonderful! Keeps pushing forward. Invest your energy and time in things that are going to help you flourish.

 

When these video games come with the possibility of running into the ex, then it's time to quit or at least, take a long, long, long hiatus. The video games is a lifeline to him. You need to sever it.

[blooreguardqk]

Wonderful! Keeps pushing forward. Invest your energy and time in things that are going to help you flourish.

 

When these video games come with the possibility of running into the ex, then it's time to quit or at least, take a long, long, long hiatus. The video games is a lifeline to him. You need to sever it.

 

He got me into it, tbh. It caught on with me but I just never had the money to fund the gaming hobby. It's still a good way to unwind and take my mind off thing, but if anything I can bite the bullet and make my own account and only purchase my most favorite things.