nolanavenue Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 Hi everyone. I'll try to keep this concise. Thanks for reading. I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months a few days ago, and I'm starting to feel really confused about my decision. Although we weren't together for long, I think the relationship was quite serious, and we were planning to get married in the next year or two. The main reasons for the breakup were I felt like he wasn't supportive and understanding enough of me; my emotional needs were not being met. I was also frustrated I didn't know how to best support him because he doesn't talk about his work very much (he's quiet). When I went to see him last week, I was on his phone to look at the pictures we took together, and I accidentally stumbled upon multiple screenshots of 11-14 year old girls (some dressed in sexy/scanty clothing) on this app he has no business to be on as a man in his late 20s working in a professional career. I was going to ask him about it later when we were looking through his pictures together, but he just held his phone away from me and tried to hide the screenshots. Over the past two months, he's been telling me he's too busy with work (medical residency) to write me thoughtful messages, yet he has the time to stalk pre-pubescent girls online? And maybe even other bad things I don't know about.. Do I deserve better? I ended up breaking up with him over email the next day. As terrible as this sounds, please understand that 99% of our communication has been over email, and although I feel very bad about not breaking up with him in person, I was so upset by him hiding things from me that I knew I couldn't face him for a while. Anyways, I did write a very nice breakup letter, and the reasons I gave him only really directly referenced the issues in our relationship I had brought up before. I haven't heard from him since, which is fine.. Meanwhile, I've had a bit of time to reflect, and I'm wondering if I made the right decision to break up with him. Some communication issues, perhaps, could have been improved over time. And honestly, if he chooses to be transparent with me about the other "problem," I would be able to forgive him and work with him. I can't tell if I've made a mistake in breaking up with him or if I'm just suffering from relationship withdrawal. I can't tell if my expectations were too high. I can't tell if I'm being selfish. Please help.
StarCatcher Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 He doesn't sound like he's as invested in the relationship as you were. If this were important to him he should have tried to talk this out rather than deny like he has. I think you did the right thing in this case, unless he has some story to back it up this is a serious red flag.
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