Notsurewhat83 Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 Me and the well, ex now as of yesterday have broken up. In short i messed up by being a little insecure. I no I've done it and decided it was time to get help so I've paid for some councilling. I am doing it for me not her as I know I already must accept the mistakes been made and it's done but part of me knew yesterday that she still loved me, I could see in her eyes and how she spoke. Infact she even said love you as I left. Shes taken our relationship off social media but i want to fight for her to trust me again. The last time we spoke she said she doesn't know if she can do it as we are anymore. Now I dont know what to do. I'm going to get it sorted hopefully with the councilling but I also want to let her know 'if it goes well I'd like to give us a try and do it properly but if i its alreasy to late then so be it' is it worth even keeping contact or better to go NC? Has anyone ever won someone back by texting to say theyll sort it? I feel awful for hurting her and I wouldn't get back with her if I didn't feel right as care too much about her to keep hurting her with insecurities but if i feel sorted after this I want her to be there at the end although I know that's not my decision.
d0nnivain Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 If you genuinely believe that she ended things because you are too needy, reaching out to tell her you are now in therapy to address the problem will only confirm in her mind that she made the right decision. Do take what she said to heart. Learn more about yourself. Improve your own life then move forward to a bigger & better relationship with someone new. Even if you manage to change she will have a hard time accepting the new you, so it's a losing proposition for you to try to fix this. 1
preraph Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I'm glad you've opted for counseling to fix your insecurity, but you know you only did it hoping for instant salvation -- and nothing is going to change anytime soon within you. Therapy is what you need, but it takes a long time. You need to move on from this and leave her alone and then keep going to therapy for the long-term to see if you can get to a place you can successfully date someone without ruining the relationship. Meanwhile, you just blow it over and over again by making up excuses to commumicate with her instead of respecting her wishes for you to move on.
Soulful_Hero Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 (edited) Same thing happened to me. I was really jealous and insecure throughout the whole relationship. It turned into borderline abuse after a while b/c I would constantly break up with her and regret it and take her back until finally she had enough. The worse part about insecurities is that you drive them away into another persons arms. The one thing that you were trying to prevent actually comes true. When it's over they will be relieved and they wouldn't understand how much you loved them b/c of your constant fighting/ jealousy. I know now I will just enjoy what I have instead of protecting it. I'd advise you just to let her go for now and go NC. The more you pursue her the farther it's going to push her away. It's also going to hurt you in the long run, right now she's being receptive but after a while of you constantly chasing her she's going to turn cold. Which will make you feel hurt and say something that your going to regret. Right now she still sees you with love, don't turn that into anger, don't be like me. Be the man you should have been focus on yourself for now. You got this don't let your demons win anymore. Edited August 21, 2017 by Soulful_Hero
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