FaithInTheDark Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I've been dating this guy approx 3 months. Our hang outs and dates have mostly started picking up on July. He's a great guy and has a lot of quality that I look for. In all honesty though, I'm reconizing we may no have a super strong emotional chemistry but, I feel we've made process ... We do have a lot of similar interests, good physical attraction, and get along well and enjoy is company. We've gone on like 7 dates at this point. He got out of a serious relationship about 5 months ago so maybe that's why he's emotionally unavailable. He's mentioned that he needs to take it slow when we first started dating. Also, the topic kind of came up yesterday and he said "let's take it slow and see what happens" My friend also asked him if we were official and he said the same thing about taking it slow. I respect taking it slow but, at this point I'm wondering if we will ever work toward something more. He's said that he likes me, likes spending time with me and is very comfortable with me. At this point, I'm curious on people's outlook on dating a girl for a couple months but still wanting to take it slow? I really do see potential but bit scared to get my hopes up .
Miss Spider Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 (edited) If you guys don't have a connection beyond physical attraction and a few common interests, becoming 'official' now would be putting the cart before the horse. It would be meaningless, actually! Labels define where you're at in relationship, they don't change things Edited August 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough 2
smackie9 Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 Sorry but you are just a past time for him while he heals. You should never invest in someone fresh out of a relationship, you will end up getting hurt. You are not going to get what you want out of this so I don't see why you would want to "stick around". 1
kendahke Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 He got out of a serious relationship about 5 months ago so maybe that's why he's emotionally unavailable. No, this is why he's unavailable. No "maybe" about it. You're the rebound relationship. He may not be emotionally done with his ex and could still be harboring hopes of reconciling with her while marking time with you until that door opens. Be very, very careful and slow your roll. This may not be heading in the direction you want it to go. 2
Zahara Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I've been dating this guy approx 3 months. Our hang outs and dates have mostly started picking up on July. He's a great guy and has a lot of quality that I look for. In all honesty though, I'm reconizing we may no have a super strong emotional chemistry but, I feel we've made process ... We do have a lot of similar interests, good physical attraction, and get along well and enjoy is company. We've gone on like 7 dates at this point. He got out of a serious relationship about 5 months ago so maybe that's why he's emotionally unavailable. He's mentioned that he needs to take it slow when we first started dating. Also, the topic kind of came up yesterday and he said "let's take it slow and see what happens" My friend also asked him if we were official and he said the same thing about taking it slow. I respect taking it slow but, at this point I'm wondering if we will ever work toward something more. He's said that he likes me, likes spending time with me and is very comfortable with me. At this point, I'm curious on people's outlook on dating a girl for a couple months but still wanting to take it slow? I really do see potential but bit scared to get my hopes up . So, two months after his break up you started dating him. Usually when 1) they need to take it slow 2) they're emotionally unavailable 3) ambivalent about moving forward -- a sign that you are a rebound and they're only in it because it provides a distraction. Don't date people that are fresh out of a break-up. And don't bank on potential. This may not go well for you, so step back and tone down your expectations. I know it is hard to do as you are already emotionally invested. 1
Redhead14 Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 7 dates in 3 months?! Yeah, that's already too slow. OP, this guy doesn't want anything serious and he's dating you that way. Take the hint. When were you two first intimate?
fred123 Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 Yeah, that's already too slow. OP, this guy doesn't want anything serious and he's dating you that way. Take the hint. When were you two first intimate? Thats like one date every 12 days or something. Yh at the beginning but it should have picked up to two or three times a week by now esp if you guys dont live far
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 21, 2017 Author Posted August 21, 2017 We went on our first date in may. Hung out on group settings ...I went away on vacation for a while and so did he. So since July we've been out approx once a week
fred123 Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 We went on our first date in may. Hung out on group settings ...I went away on vacation for a while and so did he. So since July we've been out approx once a week Im just gonna say what i would do. After my last experience with my ex gf i wont go out with a girl who says " i want to take it slow" or who has just got out of a rship. Im done. And for me after 3 months of dating i should be exclusive and seeing each other twice a week at least. There should be progress. 1
coolheadal Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I've been dating this guy approx 3 months. Our hang outs and dates have mostly started picking up on July. He's a great guy and has a lot of quality that I look for. In all honesty though, I'm reconizing we may no have a super strong emotional chemistry but, I feel we've made process ... We do have a lot of similar interests, good physical attraction, and get along well and enjoy is company. We've gone on like 7 dates at this point. He got out of a serious relationship about 5 months ago so maybe that's why he's emotionally unavailable. He's mentioned that he needs to take it slow when we first started dating. Also, the topic kind of came up yesterday and he said "let's take it slow and see what happens" My friend also asked him if we were official and he said the same thing about taking it slow. I respect taking it slow but, at this point I'm wondering if we will ever work toward something more. He's said that he likes me, likes spending time with me and is very comfortable with me. At this point, I'm curious on people's outlook on dating a girl for a couple months but still wanting to take it slow? I really do see potential but bit scared to get my hopes up . He got out of a serious relationship about 5 months ago so maybe that's why he's emotionally unavailable You said it right there.. You should have never got this far after 3 more months with him. Taking it slow means he's doesn't want to commit yet and might not as you already know where you stand with him emotionally. Dead in the water. Just spending some extra time with him to keep him company. You already know you don't have much interest in other things in common. You know this all and hope for things to change with you and him. He's just a string and you're just a cat following the string he leads on you too. He feeds you some milk and you takes some each time you see him. Do you understand the concept here. Best you can do right now is just keep in on the side as a friend and go find a real lover for yourself.
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