pineapplemalibu Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I'm almost 33 and I've been out of the dating game for about 6 years due to difficult life circumstances. I recently decided to try online dating again. Went on a date recently with a guy who was funny, smart and gorgeous, but I don't think there was any spark for him because he ghosted me afterwards. This weekend I went on a date with another guy I had been chatting to through the site for about a week, then via text for the last two weeks. We had initially arranged to meet a couple of weeks earlier, but I came down with a cold. He was very keen to reschedule when I felt better. I'll just add, since we started texting, he has only texted sporadically. Sometimes once a day, sometimes more. Anywhere from 2-36 hours can pass between texts. I know for a fact he has a very busy job. Anyhow, the date was good (we met for coffee). On arrival he greeted me with a big hug that felt completely natural. Conversation was easy, full of laughs and we had a lot in common. After 45 minutes he had to take off (he had to help a friend move house that afternoon) but as we were wrapping up, he said "we should do this again sometime". Outside the cafe, we chatted a couple of minutes longer, then he gave me another big hug, repeated "we should do this again sometime" and then said "I hope this wasn't one of those horror stories!" (as we had discussed first date horrors). I said no, I found him lovely. He laughed and said that was good, and we went our separate ways. About 4 hours later I got a text from him saying "Was nice to meet you today (smiley face)" I replied about half an hour later saying "Yeah likewise, I had a good time (smiley face)" About 4 hours later he texted and said "How was the rest of your day?" I replied about an hour later, and also asked him how the rest of his went. I haven't heard from him since. That was about 40 hours ago. It's now been about 48 hours since we parted ways. He hasn't logged into the dating site since around the time he texted me "How was the rest of your day?". I've been out of the game so long I'm a little clueless as to how to proceed from here. Do I wait a little longer for him to reply? Was saying "we should do this again sometime" just a pleasantry, even though he said it twice? Do I shoot him another text? I'd love to see him again, but I can't help but wonder if he wasn't that into me after all. Any advice appreciated.
rightondude Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I think a simple "Hey! You OK?" would be just fine.
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I think a simple "Hey! You OK?" would be just fine. This is fine. You could also text him midweek and ask him if he wants to hang out again. A woman did that with me (I think), and even thought the first date was very so-soish I decided to go on a 2nd anyway.
Miss Spider Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 (edited) Don't send another message. He got your first one, and if he liked you, he wouldn't have forgotten you existed in 40 hours. Edited August 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough 3
Author pineapplemalibu Posted August 21, 2017 Author Posted August 21, 2017 (edited) Thanks for your contributions so far. I have been reading multiple threads regarding response times after a first date and it seems everybody is different in what they think is acceptable. I get the impression that him texting me twice after our date was at least a sign of interest? I think I'll hold off contacting him. He said twice that "we should do this again sometime", so I will give him the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully he will make good on his word, however if I don't hear from him in the next couple of days, I will have likely lost interest by then. There's a slight possibility he has fallen ill, he did have a niggly cough on our date and was concerned he was getting something. Edited to add: His father is in poor health, so I hope his lack of contact / logging in to the dating site isn't because something has happened suddenly. Edited August 21, 2017 by pineapplemalibu
d0nnivain Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 You are a grown woman & this isn't 1950. If you like him, call him & you arrange the next date. If he ignores you assume the worst & move on. Since his father is ill if he pops up again next week with an explanation that involves dad's heath give him another chance but that's about it.
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