Dmarls84 Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I split with a long term ex a few months ago....I have been going out on some dates, had some hook ups etc...Life has been pretty good. A few weeks ago I met this girl, we hit it off really well. Like really well...after the first date, the same night she rang me and we ended up going back out and getting drunk in a bar until 4 in the morning. It was spontaneous and fun. Over the past two weeks we have had two awesome dates, had loads of fun going out drinking etc. We get on incredibly well, we've had some great sex too. After the second date, we were talking in bed and she was telling me about her ex. Turns out were in a similar situation, she split from a long term relationship a few months ago as well. She said she doesn't want a serious relationship, just casual fun times (fun nights out, good sex etc). Great, me too! I did get the vibe that she isn't totally over her ex, she basically admitted as much. It doesn't bother me, I have only just met her, I want the casual thing too (as it stands). Since this point she has been acting kinda like she wants more. She took me out for coffee and was holding my hand, she's been messaging me constantly, she wants to go on a trip in a few weeks. I just get the vibe that she's into it maybe more than what she was saying in bed. In fact Im certain, there are way too many signs to dismiss it. Now I'm not moaning here, its fun and it feels good. But....I could easily fall for this girl in time...I know it. If I go with it, is she going to go back to this guy eventually? She has every right to do what she wants, but I guess I could get hurt in that process too. Should I stop it before it progresses or should I just see what happens?
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Why wouldn't you just see what happens? It does sound a little like you could both be rebounding into each other. That's no guarantee she'll go back to her EX. I see her moving on before going back but for now if you are having fun, enjoy & stop analyzing.
Author Dmarls84 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 Why do you think we might be rebounding into each other? I think enough time has passed...guess cant talk on her behalf.
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 If you are emotionally healed from your break up, then you are not rebounding. If she is still talking about her EX while in bed with another guy that is tacky at best but some sign that she's not fully healed. Except on this board I think most people move forward not go back to EXs which is why I discounted that fear of yours. For now since it's all new, just enjoy. It's really too soon to draw conclusions. DO be cautious Don't give away your heart just yet
Author Dmarls84 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 Sounds good, thanks for the advice
SevenCity Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 You are wise to be cautious as she is either not over him, the breakup, or the relationship. Even if the relationship was horrible, the fact she is talking about him (in bed no less) means she is still processing it. Even if she had no intention of getting back with him, the fact that she's not over a component is reason to worry. In her mind she could be masking the pain, comparing you to him, or going full force only one day to do an about face and leave you with broken heart in hand. Love is a risk. If you want to get the most out of it you have to be vulnerable. But, it's too early to do so and you should go in with the attitude this could end any day (most RLs will end in breakup anyway). Don't harp on it and don't accuse but be logical and keep your eyes (and options) open. The last girl I dated was traumatized by her last breakup and I heard about it all the time. She had other issues that prevented a LTR but even if she didn't that would have bee reason enough. You want someone who is present with you, not one foot in the past. 2
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