max3732 Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 One of the dates I went on with someone I met online was wearing something similar to what you're describing. In all honesty it took all the willpower I had to look away and I felt extremely uncomfortable the entire time. When I meet someone dressed like that or see an online picture where they show off their chest I think they don't have anything else to offer.
William Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 Folks, just a reminder that this was posted in the DATING forum so lets keep our replies appropriate for the location chosen by the OP. Some of the replies that would have been more appropriate for the sex forum have been deleted. ~T
Echo74 Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 Can't find it now, but there was a very recent report on a study that shows lack of romantic/sexual interest if you look at her eyes/face too much. If she's interested in you, she'll be subconsciously pleased if you look at her cleavage and hips, and occasionally look in her eyes when she's speaking. Get to know her cleavage, and the rest will follow! I must be the exception then. But then I have smaller boobs and a J-Lo butt. I believe it's very possible she doesn't realize how much cleavage she's showing. I am personally more often than I'd like to be, challenged with wearing clothing that's modest due to a neckline that doesn't cover enough. It's happened to me before that I saw a photo of myself that really embarrassed me because I had no idea so much of me was showing above the neckline of my dress. She most likely finds tops she likes and wants to wear but there isn't much you can do with a large bust line when there's only so much room in the top of the dress, blouse or t-shirt. Yes, you can get a different more modest top that looks like something an old lady would wear but it's easy to just buy the cute one that's immodest because you want so badly to wear something fashionable. This is not to say there are no cute young looking tops or styles, just that a large proportion of the attractive tops available are low cut! Also, when you are looking into a mirror at home you can get a viewpoint that appears modest but a taller person will see a totally different view. I'm trying to think of how you can deal with this. Seems you do have a challenge ahead of you! Well if she has cleavage photo's posted online, she's quite aware of what's showing. But it also could be difficult to find really cute tops that aren't revealing since that seems like the norm these days.
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I must be the exception then. But then I have smaller boobs and a J-Lo butt. Well if she has cleavage photo's posted online, she's quite aware of what's showing. But it also could be difficult to find really cute tops that aren't revealing since that seems like the norm these days. True, didn't recall she was on a dating site, guess I missed it.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I must be the exception then. But then I have smaller boobs and a J-Lo butt. Well if she has cleavage photo's posted online, she's quite aware of what's showing. But it also could be difficult to find really cute tops that aren't revealing since that seems like the norm these days. Especially in the summertime. And sometimes unless you have a top on that exposes some cleavage you just end up looking fat if you have large breasts. 2
bachdude Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I know, OP...Take her indoor ice skating. It'll be cool inside and she'll have to dress warmer. And besides, it will be a fun date. She'll take your hand to balance. 2
Popsicle Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 Please don't motorboat her the first time you have sex. 1
Steve51 Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 The problem is solely yours. You are the one who keeps objectifying her body. I had an ex fiancé with very large breasts and I got to know her over the 5 years were were dating. The last girlfriend has 38EE and I had no problem in getting to know her. With both of them I was OK if they wanted to show their cleavage. Throughout history women have displayed cleavage. I have a good way for you to get over your problem. Go to a nude or topless beach or pool. There your senses will be overloaded until it is no big deal. I worked a lot in Italy and saw lots of topless ladies on beaches. It never got in the way of me getting to know them. 2
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 Here's another thought. As a heterosexual female, with no bi interest or experience, I've found it distracting, too, a few times when a woman's top is cut too low and I'm trying to concentrate on what she's saying. That is one reason why I try to be so careful about covering my own top up. I think it has to do more with being hyper visual than with the sexual aspect of it for me. If someone has something visually unusual about their person or dress it's sometimes hard for me to concentrate on visiting with them as I'm spending the entire time trying not to look at whatever it is! It can be hard work! So, I definitely understand how it could be tough for OP to concentrate on getting to know the gf with her top showing more than usual. 2
SammySammy Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 There has to be a balance. There's nothing wrong with showing sexual interest. Appreciation and attraction. But, you have to also show the rest of her is important too. She is a person after all. Not a set of boobs.
Author Reltubsirch0412 Posted August 22, 2017 Author Posted August 22, 2017 I know, OP...Take her indoor ice skating. It'll be cool inside and she'll have to dress warmer. And besides, it will be a fun date. She'll take your hand to balance. We don't have those here.
Author Reltubsirch0412 Posted August 22, 2017 Author Posted August 22, 2017 I have a good way for you to get over your problem. Go to a nude or topless beach or pool. There your senses will be overloaded until it is no big deal. I worked a lot in Italy and saw lots of topless ladies on beaches. It never got in the way of me getting to know them. Sorry, we don't have those here.
Author Reltubsirch0412 Posted August 22, 2017 Author Posted August 22, 2017 What I'm getting from a lot of this is that I need to exercise more self-control. I generally am a well-disciplined person in all other areas of my life. But if an attractive woman with large breasts shows up on a date with a low-cut top showing an ample amount of cleavage then it's going to affect my thoughts and behavior. Granted, I won't stare at the boobs or grab them, but I will start thinking about sex, and I can't help that. I have a high sex drive. Most men have high sex drives, but mine is especially high. I acted more flirtatious with this woman Friday night, and it seemed to pay off. Not so much Saturday because of the environment we were in. It all may be a moot point. I texted her yesterday afternoon to ask if she saw the eclipse. That was almost 24 hours ago, and she hasn't responded yet. Her profile was active on the dating website for a few hours yesterday afternoon, I noticed. She could have responded to my text. Instead, she spent a couple of hours on the dating website. It's unusual for her to take this long to get back to me. I'll try contacting her again one more time on Thursday, but if she doesn't respond then I have to assume we're done. But this is still a good conversation for future reference. I've met other women online who showed up for dates wearing even more revealing outfits than she wore....imagine the kind of stuff Jennifer Lopez wears to awards ceremonies. Ladies, maybe you should save these type outfits for the bedroom. Us men see you in those clothes and we can't focus on getting to know you and our minds then can't focus on anything other than sex. Maybe we're supposed to do better....but we can't help it. 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 What I'm getting from a lot of this is that I need to exercise more self-control. I generally am a well-disciplined person in all other areas of my life. But if an attractive woman with large breasts shows up on a date with a low-cut top showing an ample amount of cleavage then it's going to affect my thoughts and behavior. Granted, I won't stare at the boobs or grab them, but I will start thinking about sex, and I can't help that. I have a high sex drive. Most men have high sex drives, but mine is especially high. I acted more flirtatious with this woman Friday night, and it seemed to pay off. Not so much Saturday because of the environment we were in. It all may be a moot point. I texted her yesterday afternoon to ask if she saw the eclipse. That was almost 24 hours ago, and she hasn't responded yet. Her profile was active on the dating website for a few hours yesterday afternoon, I noticed. She could have responded to my text. Instead, she spent a couple of hours on the dating website. It's unusual for her to take this long to get back to me. I'll try contacting her again one more time on Thursday, but if she doesn't respond then I have to assume we're done. But this is still a good conversation for future reference. I've met other women online who showed up for dates wearing even more revealing outfits than she wore....imagine the kind of stuff Jennifer Lopez wears to awards ceremonies. Ladies, maybe you should save these type outfits for the bedroom. Us men see you in those clothes and we can't focus on getting to know you and our minds then can't focus on anything other than sex. Maybe we're supposed to do better....but we can't help it. You may get some resentment from some for posting this (last paragraph) but you'll probably also get support. I've read threads on LS from women asking what they can do to make men want to get to know them better rather than focusing on sex. Seems to me you've answered the question succinctly. 1
TheWoman Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 FFS Grow up Seriously, I do not know what else to say Its called self control, excellent skill to develop for all sorts of reasons. (imagine a woman... omg the bulge in his low slung tight pants is just soooo distracting, how can i possibly get to know him as a person...LOL)
GemmaUK Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 Low cut tops are not more comfortable. No woman wears two bras - a regular and another to support - that's ridiculous! I would hope that a 40 year old man though would have seen enough by now not to get in a tiswas over it. Lol! 1
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