jerrygordon3 Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Title says it all. About me. Driven. Focused. Played the field like nobodies business. Also. Romantic. Affectionate. Communication buff. I have been told.... I'm good looking. im charming. I'm a natural bodybuilder. But feel like I get mistaken for a stupid meathead. Either way. I meet women easy but girls I really want tend to evade me lol. Most guys can relate. But I've had bad relationships and then amazing ones and the amazing ones... well. They have their issues but the women here WANT to marry me and settle down. And idk. I feel like once reality sets in marriage scares the FUARK out of me. So now I'm single. And I feel sort of crappy about it...? I'm just confused. I feel like I want to settle down but whenever I meet someone that really wants to be with me I end up single again. There has only been one girl I really wanted to be with but she ended up being a cheater so.... fml
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Can you identify any other patterns or commonalities? Where do you meet these women? When do you start talking about commitment? How old is everybody involved? There has to be something else at work here besides just bad luck.
elaine567 Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Played the field like nobodies business. hey have their issues but the women here WANT to marry me and settle down. And idk. I feel like once reality sets in marriage scares the FUARK out of me. So now I'm single. And I feel sort of crappy about it...? I'm just confused. I feel like I want to settle down but whenever I meet someone that really wants to be with me I end up single again. YOU have played the field for too long, so that you do not want to settle down. YOU are no doubt self-sabotaging by choosing the wrong women, or chasing the good ones away. That way you justify it all. I want to settle down but it just never happens... 3
Author jerrygordon3 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 More and more successful etc. but like the most recent had two kids and it was just a lot. I want to fall for someone who has a good job and minimal offspring. I would prefer to start my own family. I have a son. I love kids. But one only please.
SammySammy Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Marriage should scare you. It's a crappy proposition for most. The risks, which you seem to be fully aware of, are real. There is no guarantee that you'll have a long, healthy marriage, while the chances of having a bad one are substantially high. When the time comes, you have to make good choices. Choose the right person. Choose to be the best spouse you can be. Hope and pray for the best. That's about all you can do. Shift the odds in your favor by making good choices. While realizing you could still crap out at any moment. That's the reality of love and relationships in today's world. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 More and more successful etc. but like the most recent had two kids and it was just a lot. I want to fall for someone who has a good job and minimal offspring. I would prefer to start my own family. I have a son. I love kids. But one only please. That is what you want which is fine. But where are you looking for it? What effort are you putting into the relationship? How are you acting when you meet somebody?
TheWoman Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Marriage is a legal contract with all the associated implications. It is what you do when your relationship requires it i.e you want to have children, or you want that person to have your power of attorney should anything happen to you, you wish to financially provide for someone or have them provide for you etc It is a decision you make when the circumstances of your relationship dictate that it is an appropriate thing to do. And then when you do it you make sure it is set up to suit your specific circumstances (i.e pre-nups etc). As an older person with children already and financial security that is certainly what makes sense to me anyway. So I think perhaps your issue is rather that you have not meet anyone yet where the relationship has reached that point? And despite wanting it, I am afraid there is no reliable cure or clear means to achieve that. Continue to focus on your own stuff and being the person you want to be, and that is the best we can do to attract the right person into our lives.
Popsicle Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Title says it all. About me. Driven. Focused. Played the field like nobodies business. Also. Romantic. Affectionate. Communication buff. I have been told.... I'm good looking. im charming. I'm a natural bodybuilder. But feel like I get mistaken for a stupid meathead. Either way. I meet women easy but girls I really want tend to evade me lol. Most guys can relate. But I've had bad relationships and then amazing ones and the amazing ones... well. They have their issues but the women here WANT to marry me and settle down. And idk. I feel like once reality sets in marriage scares the FUARK out of me. So now I'm single. And I feel sort of crappy about it...? I'm just confused. I feel like I want to settle down but whenever I meet someone that really wants to be with me I end up single again. There has only been one girl I really wanted to be with but she ended up being a cheater so.... fml I love guys like you. My brother is like you. We talk everyday and he tells me how badly he wants to get married. He says the guys at work (married of course) tell him not to ever get married, but he says he would never listen to them.
CptInsano Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Title says it all. About me. Driven. Focused. Played the field like nobodies business. Also. Romantic. Affectionate. Communication buff. This doesn't quite compute IMHO. I have been told.... I'm good looking. im charming. I'm a natural bodybuilder. But feel like I get mistaken for a stupid meathead. Either way. I meet women easy but girls I really want tend to evade me lol. Most guys can relate. But I've had bad relationships and then amazing ones and the amazing ones... well. They have their issues but the women here WANT to marry me and settle down. And idk. I feel like once reality sets in marriage scares the FUARK out of me. So now I'm single. And I feel sort of crappy about it...? I'm just confused. I feel like I want to settle down but whenever I meet someone that really wants to be with me I end up single again. There has only been one girl I really wanted to be with but she ended up being a cheater so.... fml You create your own reality, my friend. It is very likely that you don't find the right person to settle down with because you are to some degree aware that you aren't ready to settle down either, and would miss the life that you have become accustomed to. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Marriage should scare you. It's a crappy proposition for most. The risks, which you seem to be fully aware of, are real. There is no guarantee that you'll have a long, healthy marriage, while the chances of having a bad one are substantially high. When the time comes, you have to make good choices. Choose the right person. Choose to be the best spouse you can be. Hope and pray for the best. That's about all you can do. Shift the odds in your favor by making good choices. While realizing you could still crap out at any moment. That's the reality of love and relationships in today's world. This.... I have been saying for a while that they should just change the rules and make marriage just like a drivers license....Every 4 years BOTH parties have to renew or its done...Its a brilliant concept, IMO...For those who found the loves of their lives, they can just sign off and move on...For those that have doubts, it gives time to pause and evaluate where this is going and if there are issues, its much easier to extricate... As for the OP...Take this advice from MKD...Its basically my thoughts as well...make it work for you, and don't sacrifice your own feelings or inhibitions by throwing all eggs in that basket... TFY
BaileyB Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 And, I would suggest that you've chosen the wrong women. You've also stayed too long in relationships that were not going anywhere... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/631486-dating-exes Certainly, not going anywhere if your goal is to have a long term relationship with a woman who isn't busy raising children and is looking for marriage. Perhaps, as people here like to say, you picker is a little off...
Mysterio Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I would suggest you just go about your life. Find other hobbies to flood your mind. When you do date a woman for a year, You can propose to her. After you have spent one year with her. She has spent time with your family and friends and vice versa. That way you can gauge reality. Just make sure you don't have kids untill you have been together for at least 2 yrs. On another note. Sometimes we have to take a risk. We can think tank our love lives. Sometimes we can't and have to use our common sense. For me. I plan to take my time and I want to settle down as well. I have no facination being with a bunch of women and going out on dates every year. The next good girl I find. I will just settle down with her. I think with my experiance I should be able to make a good choice. As long as I don't feel like we are going too fast. So I say it takes about 3 yrs from dating to marriage to get to the point of sharing a lifetime with someone. I also feel for myself. Its more me letting the women come towards me and not pushing an agenda. I just have to be paitent with myself.
stixx Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Marriage be scary Thats why I never married..and I have known all the women I been with. Plus the alimony thing is BS. I wont go broke at my age for a any woman. I have known every female I have dated all my life, but today I dont trust them for anything. I will only date a woman that has money. If that seems shallow I dont care how its interpreted on a forum My last girl of 10+ years makes 6 figures and never bought me anything but a watch. I like a good watch and I gave it back to her when we broke up. If I can give up a gold watch that can pay my rent for 6 months plus then a woman can understand that I dont need money or do alimony. I will even sign a pre-nup since I will ONLY be serious with a woman that can take care of herself and NOT rely on me. I do not, or ever will, give any woman a dime. If I had a child I would take care of him/her the best I can.. .....haha. Im sterile now and cant have kids. So fat chance on that happening . ..... I can reverse it though. easy to snip and easy to put it back together. haha 1
stixx Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 I understand how it is to be poor. I was raised dirt poor, but I dont want to date poor. I dont want a woman to support. I want independent. No welfare, No section8, No food stamp or any or that stuff. If my family came to The US 100 years ago and suffered for the family and yours did not then I am sorry. Every generational goal is to sacrifice for the next. It makes them stronger....even if its by the pennies or dimes. I do respect the poor and donate as much money as I can, but i will never date welfare poor. I did it once. It was a total train mess. 1
Imported Posted August 21, 2017 Posted August 21, 2017 You should start out every conversation about how you are different and want to settle down.
Mysterio Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 When I hear someone wanting to settle down. All I hear is this in my head. I don't want to date other people and go through the loppiness of dating and wining and dining. I would rather just have one person that I concentrate on that is affectionate and wants affection from me and we basically click for the most part. I also think that as we get older. We are tired of making that effort that for the most part is rebuffed. I can't see dating as great, unless each woman for me was more gung ho into me, and were the main driving force in getting us together. I wish life was like this. No one is into us. We feel nothing and we never think about dating etc. Someone is into us. We make that major effort. 1
Blanco Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 There's nothing wrong with wanting to settle down, but I'm at the age now where I've seen enough of my contemporaries let this feeling lead them into relationships that just seem like really long, unfulfilling placeholders.
breadbin Posted August 22, 2017 Posted August 22, 2017 Words to live by right here "It's better to be on the shelf than in the wrong cupboard!" Every time I get sad about being single this brings me back somewhat. I also want a partner but I'm probably quite frustrating to be with.
Miss Spider Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 Words to live by right here "It's better to be on the shelf than in the wrong cupboard!" Every time I get sad about being single this brings me back somewhat. I also want a partner but I'm probably quite frustrating to be with. "Better dead than wed"
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