Piddle Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 A while back I wrote about a work bud who I had chemistry with and was totaly confused by what we were doing. Basicaly we would have lunch all the time, go out after work and nothing ever happened. He would talk about random dates he was going on. I guessed he was either not interested in me like that or he was juvenile and was trying to make me feel jealous. Either way we were work buds so whatever nothing happened. This guy has now left. Before he left he kept saying 'we have to keep seeing each other, we will keep seeing each other right?'. i decided to test this and did not contact him at all. He contacted me first, we exchanged plenty of messages, met once. Exchanged messages again for a few weeks, then I decided to stop initiating and responding meaningfully again as it was going nowhere except for pointless messages. He replied to my last message and then I never responded. Two weeks later he sent me this message about how he was transitioning in an airport lounge and saw this snack I eat all the time, and thought of me. How am I doing and so on? Again we start to exchange messages. We have now met quite a few times to have cocktails. Then he suggested we go to this fancy restaurant we have been talking about forever. We went earlier this week, we were together for four hours, he paid most of the bill saying 'it's cool. it's my turn' I just added the tip. During the date he mentions a lunch first date he has the next day. I mean WTF? It is like we are sexless dating right now. Now I would blame the guy and his lack of interest but I this problem ALL THE TIME. This is my life up there. I meet a guy. We start doing this, going on dinners drinks days out. Become like best buds, nothing sexual ever happens. Then he will get a girlfriend and I cry into my pillow. This has happened to me FIVE times. I am falling insanely in love with this guy I can't stop thinking about him. I think I needed him to stop being a work bud before I allowed myself to feel this so intensly. He is talking about how he is so ready for a wife and kids. This guy is 1/4 indian he even 'jokingly' once said a few months ago how he would is so lonely he would almost get his grandma to arrange a marriage for him That he could see how they could work. he is very hot so he does not need help in attracting the ladies. If he is so focused on meeting a long term love why isn't he focusing on me? I mean he clearly loves my company right? Why is he meeting new girls on tinder all the time? Am I doing something wrong? Mutual work buds have said stupid things in his presence about 'my type' which is not like him. Does he think I'm not interested? Last text exhange was after this dinner. I asked him how his broken finger was doing (soccer injury) and he replied saying 'In so much pain right now. So glad we got to go to xx restaurant!' I replied 'we need to try xxx next'. NOTHING back. Is he not interested? Or am I cold fish who cannot express to men how much they mean to me. I would so appreciate some help int this . I feel my life is being ruined and I will never find anyone because this history keeps repeating itself.
kazen Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I think you should take a chance and tell him you like him. Maybe he doesn't know. The worst thing that could happen is he doesn't feel the same. But at least you find out and then move on. No point in tormenting yourself over this. By the way, i have done this with a female friend of mine. At first she didn't feel that way about me, but later on she started thinking about me in a different way. We eventually ended up in a relationship. It was the longest relationship I ever had. So take a chance. 1
elaine567 Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 His "joke" about the arranged marriage may not actually be a joke. He obviously likes your company, but maybe he is holding back as he knows he IS going to go down the arranged marriage route eventually. Is that possible?
Author Piddle Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 His "joke" about the arranged marriage may not actually be a joke. He obviously likes your company, but maybe he is holding back as he knows he IS going to go down the arranged marriage route eventually. Is that possible? No, 100 % not AT ALL possible. He is only 1/4 indian. The rest is caucasian. He has zero indian culture as his grandma walked away from her culture when she married his grandpa. The family disowned her so he has no indian relatives whatsoever. This was a joke as we were kidding around about a tv show and I was saying how I just did not get how you could marry someone you didn't love. And he said he would try it if it was a possibility as he was so lonely. He just said 'it could work right?'
Author Piddle Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 I think you should take a chance and tell him you like him. Maybe he doesn't know. The worst thing that could happen is he doesn't feel the same. But at least you find out and then move on. No point in tormenting yourself over this. By the way, i have done this with a female friend of mine. At first she didn't feel that way about me, but later on she started thinking about me in a different way. We eventually ended up in a relationship. It was the longest relationship I ever had. So take a chance. Kazen, I did this once and it backfired so bad. I have been so scarred by this experience I just would not have the courage to do this. Also, he is a real alpha man who is used to making moves so I don't get why he wouldn't do it himself. Although he does this women he meets OLD so I guess its low risk compared to doing it to somone you like and know well. I think if I think he likes me I will just have to act like I like him so he is no doubt and make a move himself.
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