d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I believe we're all missing the point. The OP said she wasn't attracted to him so why do we all assume she could be even if she gone on a second date? Read the post by BluEyeL. For some people attraction is an instantaneous thing; it's there or it's not. I am one of them. For others, attraction grows over time. They need to get to know somebody & they need to be more comfortable with the person. What I suggested is that if the OP wasn't sure which she was that giving a nice but nervous guy a second chance might be a good thing.
Chilli Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 (edited) He probably just doesn't feel the convo,that simple. Everyone's different,kinda girl l like is one in 10 million but you can't just put it there in someone else. Plenty of boring no fun women out there too that l'm not attracted to or they can't hold a decent convo or they really need a mummy. l go with coolheadal ,no need for second dates. Although l do believe as someone was saying, all that sorta stuff can grow with a women in time, but it's far less likely a guy will work that way. Edited August 20, 2017 by Chilli 1
elaine567 Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I believe we're all missing the point. The OP said she wasn't attracted to him so why do we all assume she could be even if she gone on a second date? Because I am really on the fence. He texted me to ask for a second date and I'm not sure what to do. She hasn't written him completely off. He is a still a "maybe".
coolheadal Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Because She hasn't written him completely off. He is a still a "maybe". Because she doesn't like his appearance who she feels she's not turned on by his charms. It's up to her to decide. We all have not idea what happen just looking behind closed doors. LOL I feel you should never judge a book by it's cover. She could have had a great guy but her gut feeling is to say pass.. She has already said a negative thing about him a few I see. Well if she goes on a second date what then? She'll have to tell us if she did or not? He's not the guy for her we all know this.. Nonsense to think otherwise. If she like them off the bat with positive words she wouldn't even bother to say no to a second date. This one is unsure. She's not into him 100% she only into him as the dreaded Like-Zone - Friend-Zone. 1
coolheadal Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Read the post by BluEyeL. For some people attraction is an instantaneous thing; it's there or it's not. I am one of them. For others, attraction grows over time. They need to get to know somebody & they need to be more comfortable with the person. What I suggested is that if the OP wasn't sure which she was that giving a nice but nervous guy a second chance might be a good thing. I've ready it and everything here. She doesn't like him the way she should so she can like him as a friend and not has her lover. She's turned off my him. Whatever turns her on she's not seeing that in him.
Whodatdog Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 And another nice guy is in danger of biting the dust. Females are hardwired to find guys they consider to be bad boys more attractive. Sadly, I'll have a better response if I'm irritated and bit of a jerk as opposed to being nice and polite. You never seen his photos before setting a date? That is such baloney. Youre either attracted or your not. Everyone isnt attracted the same person. The OP stated several reasons she isnt attracted to this guy. In spite of what guys like to think, its not always about looks. Sometimes there just an attraction to a good personality, just some spark, that is undefinable. Its just there. The OP stated several issues that she isnt attracted to. It happens. Sometimes you dont know it until you actually meet and spend time with someone. Thats why you date. To find the right person. This one isnt for the OP. 2
Author wintersl33p Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 (edited) On some level, could I see myself going on another date? Sure. Maybe that would solidify some hesitation. I know that it takes me a while to warm up to people but there also has to be a baseline of attraction as well. Taking that into consideration, a man I consider on the fence can laugh his way into my good graces as long as there are no instant deal breakers. We walked for a bit after the coffee date, and it also went fine. He seemed a little less nervous and some semblance of personality showed through. I guess I am so used to looking for clues, like when a date and I can laugh and make jokes right off the bat or making compliments to show interest, (not the case here), that it's really put me on the defensive with this guy. Edited August 20, 2017 by wintersl33p
TheWoman Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I know a tall, very slim guy who is quite nervy and touching his face and head all the time and recently found out why... he is basically on cocaine all the time. Yep yuk. He holds down a great professional job, but is obviously financially a bit of a mess (although you wouldn't find that out for a while). Anyway my point is, intuition is powerful, if you weren't feeling it at all, best to listen to that small voice and walk away. 1
Bantosm Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 I saw plenty of photos of him. But seeing someone online and in person is never the same. You said physical attraction is important to you. He was attractive enough to date. Yet you found instantly physically unattractive. Pick one. Unless he appeared radically different than what his photos suggested it seems you were overly influenced by the pre-date contact. knew someone would go here. Polite and nice is the reason she is still considering giving him a second chance.Yes, a second chance at being friends. Everyone isnt attracted the same person. The OP stated several reasons she isnt attracted to this guy. In spite of what guys like to think, its not always about looks.Yet I mentioned nothing about looks:laugh:.The OP did however.
Chilli Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 That is such baloney. Youre either attracted or your not. Everyone isnt attracted the same person. The OP stated several reasons she isnt attracted to this guy. In spite of what guys like to think, its not always about looks. Sometimes there just an attraction to a good personality, just some spark, that is undefinable. Its just there. The OP stated several issues that she isnt attracted to. It happens. Sometimes you dont know it until you actually meet and spend time with someone. Thats why you date. To find the right person. This one isnt for the OP. Yep , spot on.
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