Sailynn Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 After meeting with my ex-GF, as I described in previous posts, there is only silence now. I told her it would probably be best if any more get-togethers were prompted by her and she agreed and she would call me to go hiking with her. It is remarkable that someone can sit in front of you and state they want to be active friends and 10 days later, nothing. Maybe I'm just being impatient. This seems very unstable to me, not really knowing what she wants, or being afraid. If I make a declaration like that, you can bet that my actions would follow my words. Somewhere inside of me, I believe she likes me, yet I believe she is so afraid or guilty to come forth before me with any effort. I would so much like to be proactive, be a man and get on with it, yet in this case, I have to choose to either wait or just get on with life like I was doing. I'll have to make sure I remove the sign attached to me that says "Kick Me".
upsetnhurt Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Don't think for a second that she is afraid or guilty and thus she is hesitant to contact you..............it has nothing to do with that! If any woman has interest, she will call..............unfortunately your ex does not see you as someone she wants to deem a priority, thus removing her ability to focus on finding someone better in her eyes. Stop getting hurt and reconcile this within yourself and move on....you deserve better from a gf and most of all a friend.
dr strangelove Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Why dont you try calling her. Sometimes thats what they want.
Author Sailynn Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 You know, I'd almost believe she'd want me to call, even though she said she'd call and schedule a hike. I think in this case, she may have to demonstrate some willingness to open up and take a chance. In the past, I've been the one who's bared it all and made myself vulnerable. There needs to be some action on her part, but I don't think it's going to happen based on her history of action, or non-action in this case.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 you should be telling her what to do here and not the other way around. you have come of as weak and also given away what little power position you had. women like strong men who are decisive and take charge and confident.
Author Sailynn Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 When we were dating, I did that. She wanted me to be the man. I was large and in charge and she developed issues with that. I came up with the ideas on trips, the plans, the reservations, the travel, the dining and other stuff. She usually offered little input. Then she said I made plans without consulting her. I was damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Author Sailynn Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 and she was too busy to talk to me. I think I need to go back to No Contact and back to living my life. Which was going quite well.
dr strangelove Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 That sucks.. You tried to call her at work? Theres a girl that I like..sorta. I fine when I try to talk to her at work, shes very short. But get her alone and to myself and shes a complete lil chatterbox "sigh sigh" eyes twinkling... Yesterday she msned me a good morning, I didnt see it till later on. So i decided to call her at work today, she seemed pretty happy to hear from. Then eventually she said whats up..Then I was like I know u gotta go work.. ciao. Dont be so discouraged, just try again next week I guess. Im sure she will probably call you, what did the conversation go like? If I was you Id be getting some other dates going with other women and then, work on her as a side project. In regards to the u being in charge I dunno let me ask you this what does she like doing? dont throw in the towel just yet
Author Sailynn Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 there was this silence. A sort of uncomfortable silence. It felt like, "I don't have time or the mind to deal with him now." She said she'd call me back when she wasn't so busy, but I sure wouldn't bet on it. Often times, I may be busy at work, and when the phone rings, I let it roll over to voice mail so I can respond later, so I know that could exist. However, rarely will I let a call from a friend rollover. This is sort of like knocking on my door and then running away...
dr strangelove Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Here I am taking a break from working on the bikes. Im thinking about this lady and she sounds like she has issues. So I d just leave it alone. I wish I knew what else to say and I know you care about this lady. It hard to guage the silence, it could mean alot of things. Just take a break and wait till she phones. Try again in a week or 2 if she doesnt. If you knew something that she liked to do you offer that as an outing or, you could ask. Hmm one thing I tried with this girl down the street is I did some handyman work in her place. It gave us and excuse to hang out and get a little closer. SHe even helped out, thats an option. Dont try to hard though. ciao
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