Author candy 87 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 I'm sorry but I don't see it the same way you do. You left. He's posting. That's not him telling you he's distraught. It's him telling you to go F yourself because he can have fun & get lots of girls to sleep with him, without you. It's another insult not an expression of devotion. Alas in six months you will be back on here crying because you gave this idiot your virginity & now you don't understand why he dumped you for the town S-word, woman of looser morals. that was me being sarcastic lol, although another person off this forum said maybe he's trying to make me jealous. and one of the reasons, not the main reason why I don't give him my virginity but one, is because he could simply get it n then leave, but since we bn friends for years that would be low even for him. n btw he's been pretty much pestering me on and off for about two years for it so it's pretty safe to say I'm a tough person who won't give in so easily, but he's playing.with fire, he really is
Author candy 87 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 Candy, it was appalling because it was a massive rule break of effective relationship discussions. If you had showed him the photo and said "I've been feeling a bit disconnected lately - this is how I'd like us to be" it would have given a good opening for constructive conversation. Instead you denigrated him. You shut down any opportunity for problem solving because your words put him straight into the defensive. And when a person becomes defensive, they attack in return. And I don't care what he said to you previously. This isn't Grade School where it's all tit for tat. If you don't like his actions, you leave. Don't lower yourself to returning them in kind. Also, I see no difference between attacking someone's personality and attacking their looks. It's all rude. Yes, what you said may be true. But when a girlfriend asks for advice, are you this direct with the truth? And I agree with Donnivain that his FB posts aren't showing despair. They are a message showing that he's having a great time without you. It's a very big FU. prior to that I did try to talk about things like that, all he was saying is if you were a proper woman ( i.e gave up the no sex rule) he would be more expressive, and also as if I don't deserve that kind of affection. so he lead me.to do that. I know it's not grade school but in my opinion he's done n said too much for.me to just let.him get away with it an walk all over me, I'm just that sort of person. the only thing "terrible" according.to him is me not having s** with him but that's a major deal. just because he's shagged lots of.times before don't mean I can just as easily. whereas he's just been a terrible person overall. not showing emotion towards a person is going to make them feel rejected.and neglected. That's how I see it
Author candy 87 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 Sounds like youre playing games in an attempt to get him to bend to what you want. Won't work, he will know what you are doing, and play you right back. You guys just aren't compatible. I wasn't at that time I was genuinely angry at him and didn't want.to speak to him, it was sort of like a punishment but not necessarily like trying.trying.to get.him to do what I want it ws a response out of my own anger and.and frustration. ( the blocking)
kazen Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Just want to say, I have high respect for your chastity. You're a dying breed. Also it doesn't seem like this guy is right for you.
Author candy 87 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 Just want to say, I have high respect for your chastity. You're a dying breed. Also it doesn't seem like this guy is right for you. thanks it's nice to hear it from someone especially when all this guy does is insult me.for it and say im less of a woman, unlike his exes, becsuse I don't indulge in this
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2017 Posted August 20, 2017 Sorry I missed the sarcasm. I never can see it in text / print. Anyway -- you are good at maintaining your boundaries. The best way to continue is to write him off. Unfollow him at the very least & let him go off & do whatever. You have established that he "only wants one thing." Since you are unwilling to give that to him -- which is a good thing -- move along. Stop torturing yourself trying to get him to behave in a different manner. 1
Author candy 87 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 Sorry I missed the sarcasm. I never can see it in text / print. Anyway -- you are good at maintaining your boundaries. The best way to continue is to write him off. Unfollow him at the very least & let him go off & do whatever. You have established that he "only wants one thing." Since you are unwilling to give that to him -- which is a good thing -- move along. Stop torturing yourself trying to get him to behave in a different manner. You're probably right but today for some reason I felt like maybe i should talk to him again .. so I messaged anyway after unblocking and I said... happy belated..and he replied with a very unenthusiastic thanks and thats it. like we havnt spoken in so long at lesst say more than thanks ..I kno it sounded lik it ending things but still..
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