Author chip Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 but thats what iam saying....iam finding it nearly impossible to do NC as she is always at places i go! one of the problems is we share the same friends and we all hang out at the same places and i know if i didn't answer her calls/texts she would probably come round to my house.
C Mee Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by chip but thats what iam saying....iam finding it nearly impossible to do NC as she is always at places i go! one of the problems is we share the same friends and we all hang out at the same places and i know if i didn't answer her calls/texts she would probably come round to my house. Then find new places to go and don't answer her calls. If she rings your bell politely tell her you'd prefer she didn't. She doesn't want to be friends; what she wants is to make sure you're warmed up in the bullpen so in case her future relationships don't work out, you'll be there to fall back on. Don't be a chump.
DeltaSoul Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 chip, i am writing to you as a woman that just broke up with her boyfriend 2 hours ago for approximately the same reason as your girlfriend. i have asperations, i am currently in grad school and want to do something with my life. this includes getting married, kids, and good career (i am determined to have a job i love). my boyfriend just graduated college and took a job at a gas station. i honestly don't mind him doing this job, but he never talks about what he wants in the future. i am constantly thinking about these things and i don't think he knows what he wants and will settle for what comes along. Additionally, our relationship for the past few months sounds the same as yours. more like friends, than lovers. i had been thinking about breaking up, but couldn't give myself a good reason (he's a great guy, just with a lack of ambition). until, finally this weekend. we were supposed to go out, and then at last minute he decided not to. when, after 2 years of strict fidelity, i found myself in the middle of a drunken kiss with another guy! Now, mind you, i stopped it as it was happening and realized what i was doing. Secondly, the guy i kissed, i have absolutely no feelings for. in fact, i will probably be avoiding him for now on. Now, i realize that i must have put myself in that situation for a reason. i needed something to force me to break up with him. i knew that something wasn't right. i love my boyfriend (ex boyfriend) very much, but until he gets his act together, I don't think i can continue to be with him. so now, to your problem. I too want to maintain a friendship with him, but not to keep him on a string. he is my best friend, and i am not ready to let that go. but, yes, he would get a second chance with me, if he showed me that he wanted to make something of himself. i am tired of acting like a parent in the situation. don't get me wrong, i think he would be fine if things just fell in his lap, but the poor boy just graduated college and has never even put together a resume. he took the break up very well, and still wants to be part of my life. i told i did need some time alone and i don't plan on dating for a while. and truefully, i still love him very much, and the way he dealt with me breaking up with him actually, make me think he may be more mature than I thought. but i really want to be on my own for awhile. this is my first long term relationship and i think i need to make sure it is what i want. we are going to try this. i want it to work.
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