jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 (edited) I've been conversing with this woman on eharmony for a couple of weeks. I asked if she would be open to talking on the phone, but she said in time it would make sense. She just messaged me and said she really doesn't check eharmony that much and wanted to chat via e-mail. She gave a weird e-mail address I've been out of the game for a number of years. However, I didn't think fake profiles would be on eharmony. Does anyone think something is wrong here or is it just me? Most personal e-mails don't have an e-mail address with the word solutions in it. I just thought it was weird. Plus, who subscribes to eharmony but doesn't check the messages that much? The last message was 3 days ago. Edited August 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed possible personal identifying info
Popsicle Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 It wouldn't surprise me one bit that one of those people who like to chat and chat and chat over email before meeting (if ever) is on Eharmony. There are people love chatting/writing over being in person, you know? 1
Popsicle Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I just thought it was weird. Plus, who subscribes to eharmony but doesn't check the messages that much? The last message was 3 days ago. Oh and this is not so uncommon to say. Sometimes it's just more convenient to be off the website. Consider it a good thing to be off, but yeah, you should be meeting right away to avoid scammers.
Author jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 It just didn't make sense. If we're messaging now, why switch to e-mail? If you are paying 40 bucks a month for eharmony, why would you not check your messages much? Yet again, her last reply was on the 12th. Lastly, she always replied around 1am - 3am ET. Just weird. I knew there were fake profiles on OKCupid and Match. I didn't think eHarmony now. There seems to be no safe online dating places anymore.. Agreed and that is why I suggested talking. Yet, she replied she's not comfortable yet.
Popsicle Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 It just didn't make sense. If we're messaging now, why switch to e-mail? If you are paying 40 bucks a month for eharmony, why would you not check your messages much? Yet again, her last reply was on the 12th. Lastly, she always replied around 1am - 3am ET. Just weird. I knew there were fake profiles on OKCupid and Match. I didn't think eHarmony now. There seems to be no safe online dating places anymore.. It's a sign she likes you a lot, okay? (assuming she's real) And I paid for Match.com and hardly ever got on there. Why? Because I never saw anyone I liked so it was pointless. If you don't want to get off the site then say no you'd rather message here.
Popsicle Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 Agreed and that is why I suggested talking. Yet, she replied she's not comfortable yet. That means she want to have looooooooong conversations over email. 1
Author jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 Doesn't sound like a fake profile to you?
TheFinalWord Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 (edited) I've been conversing with this woman on eharmony for a couple of weeks. I asked if she would be open to talking on the phone, but she said in time it would make sense. She just messaged me and said she really doesn't check eharmony that much and wanted to chat via e-mail. She gave a weird e-mail address I've been out of the game for a number of years. However, I didn't think fake profiles would be on eharmony. Does anyone think something is wrong here or is it just me? Most personal e-mails don't have an e-mail address with the word solutions in it. I just thought it was weird. Plus, who subscribes to eharmony but doesn't check the messages that much? The last message was 3 days ago. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe eharmony has a way to verify the person's account. It's an extra step, but it's pretty quick and most people on eharmony are serious about online dating. If this person did not go through this process, I would be leery. I would recommend only engaging with those that have gone through ID confirmation. I believe you can also set up a secure call with eharmony. If you have a weird vibe, I would trust it to avoid getting cat-fished. Edited August 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Popsicle Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 Doesn't sound like a fake profile to you? I don't know, 50/50. You're going to have to take a stand and tell her you'd rather just meet and let her go if she refuses. 2
Author jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe eharmony has a way to verify the person's account. It's an extra step, but it's pretty quick and most people on eharmony are serious about online dating. If this person did not go through this process, I would be leery. I would recommend only engaging with those that have gone through ID confirmation. I believe you can also set up a secure call with eharmony. If you have a weird vibe, I would trust it to avoid getting cat-fished. They got rid of ID Verify a while ago. Out of 1150+ "matches" two were ID verified and never even viewed me. Cat fish popped out to me as well.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I don't know, 50/50. You're going to have to take a stand and tell her you'd rather just meet and let her go if she refuses. I've been on EH for about 2-weeks now and have had 2-dates and coming up to 2 more later this week. I don't talk online for more than a couple of days with anyone and so far, so good. Within a week, I've been able to meet the ladies. Some users pay for a promotional subscription, so pay a lot less than normal price. That's what I do. I wait for promotions, if I decide to get on EH. Sometimes there are free periods. There are some fake profiles, but typically, the user base are the ones who report to EH and then something is done. I believe this is true.
Author jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 You have better luck then me. I've had one date on eharmony in 3 months.
caitlinf33 Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I used eharmony for a few months and got very disenchanted after a few dates with weird guys and too many messages from guys I had no interest in. Towards the end of my subscription, I barely checked in. Even when I received messages from guys. I could see via email notification what they looked like and what message type they had sent me. So I don't think her not logging in is that unusual. I would be wary taking the time getting to know someone who didn't want to speak or meet IRL. Some people are just looking for texting buddies. Isn't the point of being on these sites to MEET new people? I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and a few exchanges via email but if you sense she is still not up to letting you get closer after a week or so, I'd move on.
AriesDude Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 (edited) I'll bet you 5000$ you are talking to a man lol. I never chat on a site for longer than 3 hours. Always always get a number on the first day or move on. Edited August 15, 2017 by AriesDude Grammar 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 Have you Googled the email address she gave you? 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 Have you Googled the email address she gave you? That's an idea. Also, if the email address has crazy numbers and 'clever' and suggestive elements to it, I automatically ignore and move on....again, a scammer.
salparadise Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 My advice is don't invest in someone this reticent. If they're not up for meeting after exchanging a few messages, you're wasting valuable time and energy. The only way to know if you vibe with someone is to meet in person. I would simply explain to her that you're not interested in a virtual relationship and are there to actually meet people and go on dates... so, if after this much time you're still not amenable to meeting then we simply aren't on the same page, and best of luck to you. I've been doing this quite awhile and I can tell you for certain that those timorous types who think they can/should develop a relationship via messaging have socialization issues. Even if you were to play by her rules until she's ready to meet, you'd just end up frustrated as hell at her finicky, controlling unavailability... and wanting to kick yourself in the arse for investing so much in someone that had no potential. I meet about one new person a week (Friday or Saturday nights), and I often don't even think about until Wednesday or Thursday. My last relationship of year and a half began with me asking for a date in the first message (she had liked my profile), and she accepted in her immediate response. I've done that many times now. I've women comment that I'm pretty bold to just ask them out that quick. I just say, eh, not really... who wants to waste weeks trying to warm someone up when he odds are really no better after all of that effort. They get it. And I almost never get turned down; sometimes it may take some effort to schedule, but I never get the "I'd like to get to know you first" crap. If I did I'd just say, no thanks. 3
smackie9 Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 If you have a suspicion just report it to eharmony and they will take care of it.
BaileyB Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I don't know if it is a fake profile or not. But, I will say that I had a profile on eharmony many years ago and I didn't check it much. I was disappointed with online dating, disappointed with the matches that I was getting, and feeling like there were no new matches to be had... As I lost interest, I stopped checking before I eventually took my profile down. And, I would later only sign in for the free weekends. This means that you are not able to communicate using their "secure mail" which meant, in order to continue talking, somebody had to give out an email address...
angel.eyes Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 It's possible her subscription is about to run out. That may be why she wants to switch to email. If she is afraid to share her phone number, I would suggest using the secure call feature. See how she reacts to that suggestion. Bottom line: Whether she is a scammer, is a red herring. You're looking to progress beyond messaging to talking. She wants to continue messaging. Take a step back and focus on what's relevant here. Look at what you want out of this. If your timeline to progress to a date are completely at odds with hers, then move on. Even if she's real, she's not willing to meet you in a timeframe that you consider reasonable. Save yourself frustration and wasted effort, and just move on.
Author jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 Have you Googled the email address she gave you? Yes, no hits.
Author jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 My advice is don't invest in someone this reticent. If they're not up for meeting after exchanging a few messages, you're wasting valuable time and energy. The only way to know if you vibe with someone is to meet in person. I would simply explain to her that you're not interested in a virtual relationship and are there to actually meet people and go on dates... so, if after this much time you're still not amenable to meeting then we simply aren't on the same page, and best of luck to you. I've been doing this quite awhile and I can tell you for certain that those timorous types who think they can/should develop a relationship via messaging have socialization issues. Even if you were to play by her rules until she's ready to meet, you'd just end up frustrated as hell at her finicky, controlling unavailability... and wanting to kick yourself in the arse for investing so much in someone that had no potential. I meet about one new person a week (Friday or Saturday nights), and I often don't even think about until Wednesday or Thursday. My last relationship of year and a half began with me asking for a date in the first message (she had liked my profile), and she accepted in her immediate response. I've done that many times now. I've women comment that I'm pretty bold to just ask them out that quick. I just say, eh, not really... who wants to waste weeks trying to warm someone up when he odds are really no better after all of that effort. They get it. And I almost never get turned down; sometimes it may take some effort to schedule, but I never get the "I'd like to get to know you first" crap. If I did I'd just say, no thanks. Yea, I've gotten get to know you crap before. I just tell them I can see there's little interest on your part. No biggie, take care.
Author jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 If you have a suspicion just report it to eharmony and they will take care of it. Already did. Nothing from eHarmony.
Author jimbo Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 It's been several years before I jumped back on to eharmony and some things have changed with their system. When you have an interest in a person, do you send them a list of questions or just say hey, I like your profile and I'd like the opportunity to learn more about you type of e-mail? A few women in their profile had stated not to send them questions or smiles. So, I am confused.
Miss Spider Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 (edited) She may not be a fake, but at best she is super paranoid. You're talking a couple weeks and she won't give you her number or meet you? That would be moving way too slow for me. But some people need months of chat first, I suppose Edited August 15, 2017 by Cookiesandough
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