brokenheart199 Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I like this girl. We don’t talk much or anything. We work together, but she has changed her schedule due to her other job. So, we don’t work at same time and she will be leaving this job in 4 months. I like her and want to ask her out. She is one year older than me and, I don’t want her to think of me that I am that weird guy at work. I don’t know if asking her out is a good idea. What is the mindset of the girl when she sees that a guy from work is asking her out?
d0nnivain Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 Every person is different. Some people do not want to mix work & relationships. However you sound young so if this is a job not a career the advice not to date at work isn't as strict. Just be normal. Be friendly. Ask her out the same way you would ask any other girl out if you met her casually, were friends of friends, met through school, whatever. But because it's work, if she says no, steer clear
SevenCity Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 Ask her out. When you get to be older the only regrets you will have is the times you didn't try. If she says no act like it's no big deal but be direct that it is a date (drink, dinner). If she does say no pay yourself on the back for trying. If she says yes awesome and show her a good time! 1
Author brokenheart199 Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 I am gonna send her this message. Hi La****, I don't want to make this weird, but I like you and I would like to take you on a date if you don't mind. Should I add on to this or edit something? Please, help me. She is super cool girl who play in college softball team and I am nerdy dude who is always studying and have no friends.
5x5 Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I am gonna send her this message. Hi La****, I don't want to make this weird, but I like you and I would like to take you on a date if you don't mind. Should I add on to this or edit something? Please, help me. She is super cool girl who play in college softball team and I am nerdy dude who is always studying and have no friends. DON'T SEND HER THAT!!!!! Prefacing a message by saying you "don't want to make this weird" is weird. Then all of the rest, where you write you "would like to" and "if you don't mind" shows you are a passive man who lacks confidence. If you know her in person just ask her out on a date, in person very directly with confidence, sans apologies and caveats, and do control your urge to explain yourself. If she turns you down let it go, if she doesn't turn you down don't make a big deal of it, since dates are just a way of testing the waters. 7
Author brokenheart199 Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 DON'T SEND HER THAT!!!!! Then all of the rest, where you write you "would like to" and "if you don't mind" shows you are a passive man who lacks confidence. I have to ask her in message. How should I ask her in message?
the_lost_1 Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 Best you can do is ask for coffee. Be something like "hey i was wondering if you wanna grab coffee chat?" she'll either do 3 things: say yes, say no, or ignore. Then you'll know.
5x5 Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I have to ask her in message. How should I ask her in message? If you know someone in person you will get far more mileage by asking in person. I don't see why you can't just ask for any variation of the following. Do you want to go on a date with me tomorrow night? Do you want to go for a drink after work? Etc. This shouldn't be difficult, just get to the point.
diddilybop Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 (edited) I am gonna send her this message. Hi La****, I don't want to make this weird, but I like you and I would like to take you on a date if you don't mind. Should I add on to this or edit something? Please, help me. She is super cool girl who play in college softball team and I am nerdy dude who is always studying and have no friends. AGREED. from a woman's perspective, do NOT send that message. it would totally turn me off. when asking a girl out, you want it to be short and sweet. since you guys work together, ask her in person. it shows confidence, she'll be more impressed. if you HAVE to ask her through text, say, "hey (her name), want to get a drink after work on (pick a day of the week)? it'll be fun :)" or "hey (insert name), i've been meaning to check out this awesome restaurant. want to try it with me on (pick a day)?" if she says, yes, awesome and if she turns you down, don't take it too much to heart. it's all a part of dating! also, i'm going to suggest that you don't say you're a "nerdy guy who doesn't have any friends". be yourself but don't beat down on yourself during the date. Edited August 15, 2017 by diddilybop 1
kazen Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I like this girl. We don’t talk much or anything. How come you didn't talk to her when you worked together?
SammySammy Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I think you already know this comes across as "that weird guy at work". That's why you're asking us how to not make it weird. I would pass on this one. Usually I'm in favor of taking your shot, but there's a time limit. The shot clock ran out and now almost anything you do will feel creepy. Chalk this one up as a lesson learned and work on approaching quickly and confidently in a non-needy manner. That way you'll be prepared the next time your get an opportunity to "take your shot". 1
GemmaUK Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I think your time in getting to know her a bit has passed as you didn't talk much to her when you worked together. Any message now is going to be somewhat cold approach as you don't know her at all. Do you have any idea whether she is interested in you? Has she done anything to display any interest? 1
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