Jump to content

I can't quit thinking about him.. What is my next move?

Manda27

By Manda27
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Manda27 New Member

Manda27

Posted
Posted (edited)

So there is this guy that I can NOT quit thinking about and I need some guidance. I'm 29 and haven't dated too much the last few years. I'm super independent and am kind of a homebody lol. I live in a smaller town and am over the bar scene! I do go out a few times a month with the girls though. I've never been the girl who always had to have a boyfriend. I'm kind of shy so when I'd see a guy that I thought was cute, nothing was pursued. Living in a small town also sucks and is hard because everyone knows everyone or who dated so and so and blah blah.

 

I recently met this guy who is in his mid 30's. We exchanged numbers and he contacted me back in June. We ended up hanging out that night as a group and had a blast! I went home with him (so out of my character) but I did and we had a blast! He wanted me to stay the night and we talked all night. Yes we hooked up. But it wasn't like any other time that I've "just hooked" up with a guy. I'm not a very sexual active person at all. I know it sounds like it but I'm not. Yes I've had my share of fun but as I've gotten older, I'm kind of over the "let's all sleep together" fad.

 

I'm also not the type of girl who sleeps with a guy and is obsessed with him the next day. The last person I slept with before him was just casual sex and has been for years on and off. I've been active with two guys the last couple of years and it's been super casual but with this new guy, it was so different. Of course I didn't hear from him after and it made me feel blah. He did tell me that he just got over a custody battle and was getting his son for the summer. He went through a bad divorce a while back so he has tons going on. Being a single dad and a new house.

 

I decided to take a chance and texted him a few weeks after to see if he was getting out that night and he told me he had just gotten his son for the summer so he wasn't doing anything. He is a very nice person and wasn't rude about it at all. I didn't bother him anymore. Few weeks later he texted me kind of late seeing what I was doing and I was in bed. We Snapchatted a few times here and there then last Thursday, I FB messaged him to see if he and the guys were getting out and he said, were hanging at the house but y'all are more than welcome to stop by after you leave the club.

 

During that time we went to another location so I didn't reply to FB and so he also texted me telling me the same thing. I told him okay I'll holler at you. Later that night on my way home I called him and he told me to come over. It took me a while to get there so he texted me to make sure I was okay. I got there and we talked for an hour while hanging outside. He was supper affectionate and asked about my family. Told me how beautiful I looked. We laughed and always have a good time. We went inside and his son was up so I met him.

 

We hooked up and laid there for a while and talked and laughed. We went outside and hung out with his buddies (he had his arm around me the whole time) but it got late and I had to work early so I left. He carried my bag and walked me to my car (opened the door) and I sat down, he kissed me and told me to text him when I got home. I did and said "I'm home, don't be a stranger! Hopefully talk to you soon!" And he said want to see you real soon.

 

What do I do... do I wait for him to contact me? Have I put too much effort already? I've never thought about a guy (not in the past few years) like this. He is such a catch and we have SOO much fun together. I need help!

 

I never purse anything and I'm never pushy but with this guy.... something is giving me guts!

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

Yes, I think now it's time to just see if he wants to get together bad enough to call and, gasp, make a date, instead of having you over for a hookup, don't you?

 

Not to burst your balloon, but almost any guy will let you come over and have sex with him. It's no effort for them and they have made no kind of overture you could interpret as interest other than in sleeping with you. If he is interested in you for something other than a booty call, he will get in touch. So unless all you want is a booty call, and I know it's not because you're waiting and hoping, then better see if he's even interested in anything more by waiting for him to intiate something.

  • Like 1
Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted

He's such a catch? You hardly know the man so don't jump ahead and place him on a pedestal.

 

You do nothing now. He needs to show you more effort by reaching out and actually planning a date with you other than booty calls. Don't chase.

 

Also, he's just divorced and settling into singledom. Chances are he's not ready for a relationship and may just be looking for fun -- hence the lack of effort on his part.

  • Like 2
kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted

So far, it doesn't seem he's put that much effort into taking you out one on one on a proper date.

 

So that means he's appears interested as far as his libido and your willingness gets him.

 

You're doing way too much chasing here.

 

He sounds unavailable since he's got his son with him for the summer--how old is this child, btw?

 

If you want to hook up for sex, hey, nothing wrong with that *if* that is all you are after. Some people only want booty calls/FWB's. Just don't lie to yourself about what you're doing and what you want.

 

If you want more, you're going to need to hang back and see if he arses himself to call you up, make a date with you and take you out and then tell you he wants more with you. That's not what's happening and you need to not get ahead of yourself.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Manda27 New Member

Manda27

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Yeah I won't contact him first again. I just never take a chance and do anything so I thought I would with him. Something told me to contact him. (VERY unlike me)

I would just be interested in getting to know him and hang out some more. Have drinks or something! When we hung out as a group we had a blast!!! And just see where it goes if anywhere.

 

I am just interested in companionship!! Im deff not looking for anything serious. Just someone to text me and see how I am doing or someone who wants to meet for drinks. Our chemistry is so good. We laugh and have a good time together. It was something I didn't want to sweep under the rug and ignore like I usually do.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
act00 Established Member

act00

Posted
Posted

So let me get this straight. At his invitation, you came by his place after your evening out. He had friends over and his child who you met. You then proceeded to the bedroom for some sex, all the while his friends were there, and his kid. Afterwards, you hung out with the friends.

 

I don't know about this situation. After weeks go by, you contacted him, and you connect, but upon your arrival, he abandoned his guests and his child for some sex? They were in the next room, at his house, and he just took a little time off on the side?

 

I get your feelings, and I'd be willing to just see how it goes, and with the child there, it could offer time to platonically know him and see where it goes, but this sex while guests are in the home, and as a host, he disappears to boink, is not sitting well with me, and where was the kid at this point?

 

Just don't let him get in your head if you choose to pursue this. He's just outside of a divorce and new custody, and he may not be ready for anything more serious, and if you're okay with it, great, but you seem to want more, so this could become a real heartbreaker for you.

  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

If you just want companionship and date casually then TELL HIM. He is not going to read your mind.

 

I think he is leaving the contacting up to you because he's probably worried if he did you would get the impression he wants something serious.....time to clear the air.

  • Author
Manda27 New Member

Manda27

Posted
  • Author
Posted

His little boy was up playing video games and we chatted with him. His friends were his neighbors and one walked home and the other went to meet some friends at the bar

 

 

 

 

So let me get this straight. At his invitation, you came by his place after your evening out. He had friends over and his child who you met. You then proceeded to the bedroom for some sex, all the while his friends were there, and his kid. Afterwards, you hung out with the friends.

 

I don't know about this situation. After weeks go by, you contacted him, and you connect, but upon your arrival, he abandoned his guests and his child for some sex? They were in the next room, at his house, and he just took a little time off on the side?

 

I get your feelings, and I'd be willing to just see how it goes, and with the child there, it could offer time to platonically know him and see where it goes, but this sex while guests are in the home, and as a host, he disappears to boink, is not sitting well with me, and where was the kid at this point?

 

Just don't let him get in your head if you choose to pursue this. He's just outside of a divorce and new custody, and he may not be ready for anything more serious, and if you're okay with it, great, but you seem to want more, so this could become a real heartbreaker for you.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...