Foreigner in U.S., questions about women

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I'd be fine with being in a relationship with a woman and even sleeping with her if she knew I had no intention of holding a long lasting relationship.

 

 

What? I thought you said you would like to wait?

 

Your chances of finding a woman who meets all of those criteria in America are not great unless you're going to be in a Metropolitan area that contains a large population of folks from your home country/culture (which is of course possible, depending on where you'll be living).

[noelle303]

I phrased the question wrong, and another answered the question anyway. It was about those who are virgins before marriage.

 

I don't care about their religious views, and I pretty much knew that I had almost no chance of getting a suitable partner that fit my ideals. I'm going to have to stick with short term relations.

 

If your plan is to wait until marriage, then this pretty much goes out the window too. Hate to break it to you, but short-term relationships and flings usually involve sex over here.

 

The girls who are saving themseves for marriage are usually very Christian and are looking for that same thing in a partner.

 

And don't even start with the whole ''alcohol doesn't affect me'' BS. That's pretty much what every dumb person who wound up killing someone said before getting in the car.

[SammySammy]

If alcohol has no effect on you and you can't get drunk, what's the purpose of drinking? Seems like that would be a waste of time and money.

[diddilybop]

As I said previously, I'm fine with people living however they want and I'd be fine with being in a relationship with a woman and even sleeping with her if she knew I had no intention of holding a long lasting relationship.

 

ok, this makes me angry. it's ok for YOU to not be a virgin and to want a long-lasting relationship that will eventually lead to marriage but in your eyes, it's not ok for your future/potential wife to get the same "priviledge"?

 

oh boy.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Oh, boy. The more I read your posts, OP, the more you become less interesting and more full of your own BS.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Oh, boy. The more I read your posts, OP, the more you become less interesting and more full of your own BS.

 

Well, he's 17

[Gr8fuln2020]

Well, he's 17

 

Yeah.

 

I also should have read his profile more carefully. Your boasting of your drinking prowess....ugh. I see a player in the making, if you're not already. As others have said, it's okay if you have sex with a girl, but when you're ready for a LT relationship, you won't tolerate a non-virgin.....lol.

 

We'll see him back here some time later wondering why no American girl will date him...

[diddilybop]

Yeah.

 

I also should have read his profile more carefully. Your boasting of your drinking prowess....ugh. I see a player in the making, if you're not already. As others have said, it's okay if you have sex with a girl, but when you're ready for a LT relationship, you won't tolerate a non-virgin.....lol.

 

We'll see him back here some time later wondering why no American girl will date him...

 

he's the same guy who says, "a woman can have the freedom choose to live her life any way she wants!....but i want a submissive woman who has dinner on the table for me by 5pm every night and doesn't question my authority."

[Bastile]

traindriver321

 

You are 17. Your views are going to change over time. What you want now & what you think your future holds is from the perspective of a child. I'm not picking on you. My views about sex & life when I was 17 were even more naïve then yours are.

 

That's a very level headed post. Easy to forget when we were that age.

 

You are in for a very big culture shock. And you'll have to be willing to adapt in various ways to all three fronts, in order to cope in the real world.

 

I remember going out with a girlfriend as a teenager who's sister had a boyfriend from the part of the world that I think you are from. I saw the culture clash first hand - very turbulent relationship.

 

Thing is that he still had the most sought after girl around (not my type, but objectively).

 

The average western woman simply isn't very used to a man with a strong frame. It can make many badly suited to a long-term committed relationship.

 

I've watched the general environment get considerably worse just in the 17 years that I've been sexually active.

 

You are likely going to be in for a lot of frustration, unless you reconsider your rigid opinions on relationships.

 

I pretty much knew that I had almost no chance of getting a suitable partner that fit my ideals. I'm going to have to stick with short term relations.

 

That would be a start.

 

11 years in the US... would make you around 28/29 when you leave to go back home - correct?

 

Have fun, explore, learn about people and yourself in the US - then marry/start a family back home. Simple.

[Steve51]

It is somewhat hypocritical to want a virgin to "ruin" her for other men like you. It is usually not jealousy that is the reason, since if you just met the girl there is nothing to get jealous about. It is usually insecurity about penis size and sexual ability. Don't want to be judged by the size and performance of her previous lover. Google it.

 

As for the other stuff, you are better off finding a girl in one of those countries who think women should be as you describe. You are not what most women are looking for but there are girls with low self esteem that you may find.

[coolheadal]

I phrased the question wrong, and another answered the question anyway. It was about those who are virgins before marriage.

 

I don't care about their religious views, and I pretty much knew that I had almost no chance of getting a suitable partner that fit my ideals. I'm going to have to stick with short term relations.

 

You can do better in your current country than here in the USA. The girls are not like other cultures. Everyone pretty much independent type. A lot don't want kids and none might marry anyway. Do not believe what you see in movies or tv shows from USA. Life is not the same as what you see. What you should do try a pen-pal sight and see if you can find the woman of your dreams that way. OLD here in the USA not like it was back 2011. Of course you would have been 10 then..

[Robratory]

Because I'm going to be in the US for 11 years, so I'd like to have some company, even if after all that time the relationship fails)

 

 

So just to try and cut down on the word count, heres basically what I look for, in order of importance.

 

1) No previous sexual partners. I am an extremely jealous man when it comes to women. It's fine if they had a boyfriend as long as shes a virgin*.

 

2) Modesty**.

 

3) Willing to accept her role as the submissive***.

 

*Due to the fact that I wouldn't get over the fact she had a previous partner. In my country women only have sex after marrage, or at least when they are 100% sure they are getting married. Divorce is extremely rare and even in divorce cases it's nigh impossible for them to remarry anyone else.

 

** Modesty with other people, to be able to control herself and keep a steady head. I don't like overly assertive women.

 

***Submissive =/= subordinate. I imply that she would be willing to do things like overlook that I was wrong and not push the assertion she was right, to make food which I enjoy, etc (Very bad explanation, sorry). This doesn't mean I want her to sacrafice herself to me. I will be the one who pays for dinner, movies, entrance fees, all the time. I open the door, I give her my coat, etc.

 

 

I'm sure this will get a lot of bashing, but I'm sorry, I've lived in my country for 6 years and I've grown accustom to the traditions and way of life. I'm just curious if at least 10% of women fit into these 3 main points. I'm open to discussion. Thanks!

 

Sounds like you're from another time, not just another country. I think it's going to be a long eleven years.

 

I'm not going to bash you, but Jesus, you want someone who is a virgin yet you don't want to marry her, and from your cultural perspective, women who lose their virginity without marrying never get married. Essentially, you're asking us in a breezy tone how you can ruin a woman's life, from your perspective. Why would you knowingly perpetrate this harm on a woman?

[alphamale]

1) No previous sexual partners. I am an extremely jealous man when it comes to women. It's fine if they had a boyfriend as long as shes a virgin*.

 

2) Modesty**.

 

3) Willing to accept her role as the submissive***.

you must be moslem

[kendahke]

Are you a virgin?

 

Your best bet is to just get your education/degree and go back home and find a girl around the corner from you who has the same value system as you do. You'll be hard pressed to find one in the US who is going to comply with all of your demands who is not going to make attending church mandatory for her being with you. Not saying they don't exist, but they probably don't live where you'll be going to school.

[alphamale]

Are you a virgin?

 

Your best bet is to just get your education/degree and go back home and find a girl around the corner from you who has the same value system as you do.

agreed, birds of a feather flock together

[Gr8fuln2020]

you must be moslem

 

I believe he said former christian, now atheist. Let us not forget his views are consistent with some very conservative christian groups too.

[Gaeta]

Do you have a plan B? I hope so because with all that is going in the US immigration I doubt they will let you in. The country you are describing does not sound like an industrialized country therefore you are probably on the US black list.

[Gaeta]

I believe he said former christian, now atheist. Let us not forget his views are consistent with some very conservative christian groups too.

 

He could still come from muslim country. There are christians a bit all over middle-east and Africa.

[Gr8fuln2020]

He could still come from muslim country. There are christians a bit all over middle-east and Africa.

 

You're right, of course.