overthinker88 Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 Hi there - I'm in a bit of twisted situation so I'd really appreciate some insight from y'all. I've been hooking up with this guy (we'll call him Tom) casually, off & on for about 6 months now. We've been talking and hanging out as friends for about a year. Last week, a friend of mine (let's call her L) and I went out with him and some of his friends (friends I've met before) and had a great time. L decided to sleep with one of the friends, who we'll call Bob and hasn't heard from him since. I don't know if they exchanged numbers. My issue is here - in the few times I've hung out with Bob I feel we've had a real connection. We can talk for hours and he's one of the nicest men I've ever met. Bob follows me on social media, has sent me nice messages and likes all of my posts. However, Bob and Tom are teammates on a professional sports team. I don't know how common exchanging women is on a sports team, but some of the friends have a pretty liberal attitude towards it. A few have hit on me, but I've usually dismissed it and never said anything to Tom about it. I have a gut feeling things with Tom are not going to go anywhere. I'm fairly certain of that and I'd like to bring it up with him soon (excluding the whole Bob thing of course). Is Bob someone I should pursue or would it be too weird for all involved? I also think it would be odd for me to go and reach out to Bob on my own because the team is almost always together so I'd have to see Tom. Anyway, I might be overthinking this and providing too much detail but I really need some outsider input. Thanks for reading this! I know it's kind of long. Have a great day.
smackie9 Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 TBH I think Bob might just be interested in what you already have, a casual fling. Seems to be a theme among them. You are not committed to Tom so you can pursue anyone you want. Will you have any luck with Bob? Who knows.
Popsicle Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 This is too messy. Youre asking for trouble. Let it go.
coolheadal Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 So much of team mates, office workers going on here at LS. I find all this interesting. You have two of them. Just pick the guy you want to be with if none then tell them best to stick with the team and get that out of the way. Love shouldn't be mix with sports or team mates or work mates either. Just too ciaos if you asked me.
d0nnivain Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 This social circle is way too small. You & Tom have had a fling. Tom's buddy Bob & your friend L have had a fling. You want a fling with Bob. Too close for comfort, IMO. If you & Bob do manage to hook expect to be ostracized or gossiped about or both
elaine567 Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 If you do not feel anything is going to happen with Tom then stop the arrangement and stop sleeping with him. If Bob then indicates he is interested then OK, but if you keep sleeping wth Tom as well then you will get a reputation and if either of them or some other teammate wants to get serious with you then it may be all spoiled if you are just seen as some easy chick who will sleep with anyone. I guess it may be awkward with L too, so run it past her if you are interested in Bob. You don't want to find Tom is sore with you, L is sore with you, and Bob only wanted a ONS anyway...
Miss Spider Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 (edited) Way too messy... You will get yourself a rep if not already Edited August 14, 2017 by Cookiesandough
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