Early stages of dating, how much "kiss and tell" should there be among friends?

[CoolJoe]

Obviously, you keep your friends in the loop when you have a promising date.

 

How much details do you think are appropriate to share? I used to share all the details but now I'm thinking that maybe that's inappropriate. What would my date think if she knew? Sure, she may be telling her girl friends about me but maybe I'm getting old in thinking "don't kiss and tell." Or at least, never go beyond "it went well" or something similar. But you know how guys (and platonic female friends) can be. They want all the details.

 

Where do you draw the line when you're in the early stages of dating someone new? Let's say 3-5 dates in and she's not yet your girlfriend but definitely heading there. I just think, if it works out long term and you tell five friends let's say, wouldn't it be awkward if they knew all those details at your future wedding? I know that's long term thinking but yeah. That entered my mind recently.

[Mike B.]

I think you should keep your business to yourself from date number one through marriage, especially if it's of a intimate nature.

 

If you tell your friends about intimate details between you and your date, you will seed their minds with fantasies of a woman you will potentially feel very strongly about one day and to have your friends wondering about the awesome oral she gave you on date #2 may create some uncomfortable situations down the line. Also, if you tell your friends about negative things regarding your woman, they will form negative opinions about a her and she could potentially become your wife one day. This can seed your friends' minds with some trivial aspect regarding your woman that you eventually get over during the course of your relationship but your friends could hold that negative against her for the rest of your relationship causing conflict within your group.

 

Being a man, I have often had to insist on women during my younger years to stop telling their friends about intimate details of our sex lives. The friends would start to flirt with me in good fun and the woman I would be dating would become upset that their friends were doing this. I would tell them to stop discussing our intimacy with their friends and it will go a long way with preventing the flirtatious behavior. I know women like to share these things and young men as well but it is rarely helpful and often create conflict.

 

 

Don't kiss and tell.

[smackie9]

Zero. Absolutely nothing. Nothing more insulting than finding out your SO has been giving out intimate details of about your relationship to others. Keep it to yourself.

 

If it's about getting engaged or married or having a baby...that's what announcements are for...you do that together.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I'm guessing I'm a LOT older than you, but my friends rarely give a crap about how my dating life is. They're too busy dealing with their kids and young families. And that's good.

 

Personally, I think the sexual stuff is fine.

 

But I have a friend who mentioned to me and quite a few other people about a woman he was dating how she wasn't really educated or smart enough for her. Well ... he ended up marrying that woman. If that ever comes out, he has 'splaining to do. That is the kind of stuff you want to avoid. The part where you blabber about how close she/he is to your 'expectations'.

 

But generally, my friends could care less these days, and I prefer it this way.

[coolheadal]

Obviously, you keep your friends in the loop when you have a promising date.

 

How much details do you think are appropriate to share? I used to share all the details but now I'm thinking that maybe that's inappropriate. What would my date think if she knew? Sure, she may be telling her girl friends about me but maybe I'm getting old in thinking "don't kiss and tell." Or at least, never go beyond "it went well" or something similar. But you know how guys (and platonic female friends) can be. They want all the details.

 

Where do you draw the line when you're in the early stages of dating someone new? Let's say 3-5 dates in and she's not yet your girlfriend but definitely heading there. I just think, if it works out long term and you tell five friends let's say, wouldn't it be awkward if they knew all those details at your future wedding? I know that's long term thinking but yeah. That entered my mind recently.

 

Come on now are you serous? NOTHING PERIOD! Why heck would you. Are you showing off or something. Get with it and just have a normal date instead of all your friends in on the date you were on.

[d0nnivain]

Your friends are your sounding boards. Before message boards like this, they were the only people you could bounce every little nuance off of to determine if that new person liked you back & where the relationship was going.

 

I think talking to your friends is OK but keep the details about the physical to a minimum. Saying I really like them is great. Describing their body parts (other than to say the new SO is hot or has a certain hair or eye color) is bad. Certainly no details should be shared about sex. . . not even whether you are or are not having it.

[WaitingForBardot]

Gentlemen and Ladies do not kiss and tell.

 

...and neither do I nor any of the women I've been involved with...

[elaine567]

Personally, I think the sexual stuff is fine.

 

 

So you tell your mates about the sex?

[Miss Spider]

So you tell your mates about the sex?

 

The guys who don't are the ones who surprise me