Echo74 Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 For whatever reason the one and only photo that I posted on Match does not show up as my main photo. I've googled to see what I'm doing wrong but there's no "set as primary photo" anywhere on the photo page. It's maddening! Secondly, there's a guy who has "liked" me, then 2nd day message me how it's hard to believe I'm single, then today "Wow, you're lovely". I have not replied as he is totally not my type and my profile states everything that he (visually) in not. WTH!!
Author Echo74 Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 Another question. Why do my "matches" not match the criteria which I have checked off as "DEAL BREAKER"? It's so annoying to see guys who are obviously not a match. I'd prefer 3 matches than 300 and have to weed out 297 of them.
normal person Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 I feel like you'd probably have better luck asking tech support... As for your admirer, if he's not your type, you can just ignore him, it's fine. Don't be afraid to get into that habit. 2
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 (edited) Secondly, there's a guy who has "liked" me, then 2nd day message me how it's hard to believe I'm single, then today "Wow, you're lovely". I have not replied as he is totally not my type and my profile states everything that he (visually) in not. WTH!! Put in your profile for guys to read that 'My stated criteria I feel is quite fair. If you do not meet them, please do not message me. It will just be a waste of both of our time.' I've seen it a couple of times. Not only will that statement prevent most guys of normal temperament who don't meet your criteria from messaging you, it will better help you find a better match for your personality type. Edited August 13, 2017 by JuneJulySeptember
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 For whatever reason the one and only photo that I posted on Match does not show up as my main photo. I've googled to see what I'm doing wrong but there's no "set as primary photo" anywhere on the photo page. It's maddening! Secondly, there's a guy who has "liked" me, then 2nd day message me how it's hard to believe I'm single, then today "Wow, you're lovely". I have not replied as he is totally not my type and my profile states everything that he (visually) in not. WTH!! I don't know about the first part of your message since I'm not actively on Match, but hopefully you can figure it out! As to the second part....get used to it, girl! There are men who will message every single "new" person who arrives on the scene, no matter what.
Mike B. Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 Dating websites tend to want you to have a good experience to kick things off when you first sign up because they want you to stick around to pay for a long time. The stricter your criteria, the less matches you get and the more disappointed you become and the less likely your will stick with the site. To prevent this, dating sites will often just try to give you as many matches as they can even if they do not fit your criteria strictly. As time goes on, the numbers will dwindle considerably. 2
Author Echo74 Posted August 14, 2017 Author Posted August 14, 2017 Dating websites tend to want you to have a good experience to kick things off when you first sign up because they want you to stick around to pay for a long time. The stricter your criteria, the less matches you get and the more disappointed you become and the less likely your will stick with the site. To prevent this, dating sites will often just try to give you as many matches as they can even if they do not fit your criteria strictly. As time goes on, the numbers will dwindle considerably. Yes, I can see that now. Ugh what a PITA! And I'll surely block who I consider to potential stalkers.
Author Echo74 Posted August 14, 2017 Author Posted August 14, 2017 I discovered the reason my full shot photo is not primary. CS told me that it was not approved as a primary. It's a full length shot and it's pretty clear with good lighting where guys can see pretty much what I look like. I mean my friends and family would know it's me if they saw it. Plus I noticed that other people have full length photo's or photo's that are either blurry, dark and/or you can't tell what the person really looks like. There's even one guy who has a pic of a woman! Dumb!
Robratory Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 Put in your profile for guys to read that 'My stated criteria I feel is quite fair. If you do not meet them, please do not message me. It will just be a waste of both of our time.' I've seen it a couple of times. Not only will that statement prevent most guys of normal temperament who don't meet your criteria from messaging you, it will better help you find a better match for your personality type. I'm going to have to disagree with that advice. In my opinion, all it does is scare away the good guys, and the jerks still contact you anyway. 1
SevenCity Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 I'm going to have to disagree with that advice. In my opinion, all it does is scare away the good guys, and the jerks still contact you anyway. Yep. The more you list demands and are negative the more high maintenance and a turn off you become. Understand that 90% of guys don't read the profile anyway (those just looking for sex). The thoughtful ones who are looking for a match do and laundry lists are a huge turn off. Another thing, I can't count how many profiles that state "No hookups!" Any determined guy will see you as a girl who has been pumped and dumped previously and easy prey by lying about their intentions. Just be open and positive. Nothing you say in your profile will prevent the wrong guys from reaching out to you. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 I discovered the reason my full shot photo is not primary. CS told me that it was not approved as a primary. It's a full length shot and it's pretty clear with good lighting where guys can see pretty much what I look like. I mean my friends and family would know it's me if they saw it. Plus I noticed that other people have full length photo's or photo's that are either blurry, dark and/or you can't tell what the person really looks like. There's even one guy who has a pic of a woman! Dumb! You were reported by someone. I've had something like this happen to me and afterwards thought just how silly it was when many other profiles are also out of whack.
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 (edited) I'm going to have to disagree with that advice. In my opinion, all it does is scare away the good guys, and the jerks still contact you anyway. I think it would do a lot to prevent guys who don't match from messaging. If I saw someone post something like that, then I would never message them if I didn't match their preferences (rarely did anyway). I also think people would find a faster match if they represent themselves properly. As is, everybody creates a wishy-washy profile that tries to appeal to the masses and present them as super smart, super goody-goody, and super confident. So, OP is bothered by guys who are not a match for her physical preferences wasting her time. So she should state that. And guys who appreciate that line of thinking will reciprocate. And there are plenty. Like I remembering reading this one woman's profile who said "If you're still trying to figure life out, you're not the guy for me." That represents her really well. And its going to save her a lot of time. Edited August 15, 2017 by JuneJulySeptember
SevenCity Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 I think it would do a lot to prevent guys who don't match from messaging. If I saw someone post something like that, then I would never message them if I didn't match their preferences (rarely did anyway). I also think people would find a faster match if they represent themselves properly. As is, everybody creates a wishy-washy profile that tries to appeal to the masses and present them as super smart, super goody-goody, and super confident. So, OP is bothered by guys who are not a match for her physical preferences wasting her time. So she should state that. And guys who appreciate that line of thinking will reciprocate. And there are plenty. Like I remembering reading this one woman's profile who said "If you're still trying to figure life out, you're not the guy for me." That represents her really well. And its going to save her a lot of time. You're not a horney guy. If a guy is looking for just sex he can be whatever you want. And again, most guys won't read what you wrote. This is exactly why I don't list "thin women only". Even thin women will be turned off by it. Logically what you says makes sense, but OLD has nothing to do with logic.
mortensorchid Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 OLD ... If it never happened where would we be today? Ha ha ha ... Well for a newbie to the OLD scene, what you specifically posted sounds like something for tech support. That aside, here is what to expect with OLD now that you are officially new to it ... Like another said, these websites are designed to make you think that IT is going to automatically happen for you once you connect to someone on it. I have been on Match a few times and you will meet more of a volume of people within the first 2/3 months of being on it. Then ... It's going to taper off. You're not the "new guy/girl in town" anymore and the novelty is going to wear off and you're not going to get as much traffic on it anymore. That fact aside, I have met people who have met their spouse / SO on dating websites. Please keep in mind that they are the exceptions and the success stories that they want and need to keep their success rates going (think EHarmony). THat's not to say that I have not met people online who are all bad, but it's a crazy world out there and you must exercise caution. I have also met people who have ended up in crazy situations with others thanks to OLD, but I think that they would have ended up like that had things like OLD never happened. And I have also met people who put up a profile on Match or another website, met that person, and MARRIED them 6 weeks later. You did not read that incorrectly. They are now divorced from them. I think that OLD has changed us in that we are wanting the quick fix and are not provided with an easier way of meeting people that would involve having to leave the house. It is not, however, the all purpose answer. The question being "How do I find happiness?". If there was an answer, I would tell you what the answer is but I don't have it. Just keep moving forward...
Author Echo74 Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 You were reported by someone. I've had something like this happen to me and afterwards thought just how silly it was when many other profiles are also out of whack. Huh, I've only been on since Thursday night and pic went up next day but not as primary. I think it would do a lot to prevent guys who don't match from messaging. If I saw someone post something like that, then I would never message them if I didn't match their preferences (rarely did anyway). I also think people would find a faster match if they represent themselves properly. As is, everybody creates a wishy-washy profile that tries to appeal to the masses and present them as super smart, super goody-goody, and super confident. So, OP is bothered by guys who are not a match for her physical preferences wasting her time. So she should state that. And guys who appreciate that line of thinking will reciprocate. And there are plenty. Like I remembering reading this one woman's profile who said "If you're still trying to figure life out, you're not the guy for me." That represents her really well. And its going to save her a lot of time. It's the ethnicity (white, asian, black, etc.) that most of the guys have ignored and I've received numerous non preference guys in that category. I've already made an exception for the height & weight if it's not too far off what's stated in my profile if the guy has what I consider a sincere and meaningful message. OLD ... If it never happened where would we be today? Ha ha ha ... Well for a newbie to the OLD scene, what you specifically posted sounds like something for tech support. That aside, here is what to expect with OLD now that you are officially new to it ... Like another said, these websites are designed to make you think that IT is going to automatically happen for you once you connect to someone on it. I have been on Match a few times and you will meet more of a volume of people within the first 2/3 months of being on it. Then ... It's going to taper off. You're not the "new guy/girl in town" anymore and the novelty is going to wear off and you're not going to get as much traffic on it anymore. That fact aside, I have met people who have met their spouse / SO on dating websites. Please keep in mind that they are the exceptions and the success stories that they want and need to keep their success rates going (think EHarmony). THat's not to say that I have not met people online who are all bad, but it's a crazy world out there and you must exercise caution. I have also met people who have ended up in crazy situations with others thanks to OLD, but I think that they would have ended up like that had things like OLD never happened. And I have also met people who put up a profile on Match or another website, met that person, and MARRIED them 6 weeks later. You did not read that incorrectly. They are now divorced from them. I think that OLD has changed us in that we are wanting the quick fix and are not provided with an easier way of meeting people that would involve having to leave the house. It is not, however, the all purpose answer. The question being "How do I find happiness?". If there was an answer, I would tell you what the answer is but I don't have it. Just keep moving forward... Tech support/Customer service, they are the ones who said my full body shot was simply not approved as "Primary". I'm going to try and add one more photo and see if I'm able to change things around after it's loaded. I think of OLD as another avenue to possibly meet someone who might be a match. I'm thinking of it as a long-shot since I've been lurking there as a non-sub for a few months and feel there were very few prospect for me. Unfortunately I live on an island so not as many guys as the contiguous US and Canada.
Popsicle Posted August 15, 2017 Posted August 15, 2017 Maybe they want to see your face clearly as a primary. More like a headshot. Try putting one of those up as primary and see if it gets approved.
Author Echo74 Posted August 15, 2017 Author Posted August 15, 2017 Maybe they want to see your face clearly as a primary. More like a headshot. Try putting one of those up as primary and see if it gets approved. So I just added another pic that had me with my sister (face blurred out) and it went up immediately as Primary! It just dawned on me...I "trimmed" the sides of the shot so it's sort of a skinnier photo than usual. Maybe that's what it is
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