letmein Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 So I've gone out with this girl 5 or 6 times for drinks, just the two of us. Sometimes we get dinner too. She recently invited me to her house and we hungout in her backyard for awhile there.. She's always really flirty and we've talked openly about sex. Recently, I asked her out on a date. She said she's sorry but she's emotionally unavailable. I kinda knew this, she's told me she's still in love with her ex, but I thought I'd ask anyway based on the amount of time we've spent together. A few days ago, on my request, we sat down and talked. I told her it's getting hard not to be physical with her while hanging out. She said she does have sexual feelings for me and a hookup might be a possibility in the future. But she also said this happens with all of her guy friends, and she flirts "unconsciously". I haven't liked someone like this in a really long time, so I have no idea what to do. On one hand, I'd love to have sex with her but I know I'll just be wanting more after it. I have tried to by physical with her in the past though, so I don't know if she's just saying sex might be a possibility to keep my attention. That being said, I think of her all the time and have had a huge crush on her for months. I see her at work once every week or so, so it almost impossible to go full no contact without getting another job. I'm just kinda in a rough spot, and could use advice from anyone who's had a situation similar to mine.
Robratory Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 It's not going to work. Put her out of your mind, and find someone else. Don't be rude or cold toward this one. When you see her at work, be cordial and civil. But stop hanging out with her, and if she asks, tell her you don't see anything happening between you two.
CryForNoOne Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 I'm in a similar situation but I have not let myself get emotionally invested yet like you have. The huge red flag for me is that you've already discussed sex and she rejected you yet kept it as a possibility. That a classic push-pull tease. She likes having guys constantly in orbit, which means she's a user and a taker, not a giver. This is the female equivalent of a male player. Move on...
smackie9 Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Sad news: stop hanging out with her. In no way will she ever give you what you want. She has already put the brakes on, so that's your cue to walk.
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 You don't have to go full NC unless you want to. However you do need to put a great deal of distance into this situation for your own sanity. 2
mortensorchid Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 You can't think that this is a good person to have an actual relationship with outside of sex, do you? If that's all you're looking for that's all you're looking for, but you sound as if you want something else. You're not going to get something else from her other than the sex. Fact.
BC1980 Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 It's not going to work out. At least not right now. She said she's in love with her ex. I would stop hanging out with her for sure. I would basically go NC except when you see her at work. You can't really help seeing her at work, but just be polite and professional when you do. There's a way to be cordial with someone without engaging with them.
coolheadal Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 (edited) So I've gone out with this girl 5 or 6 times for drinks, just the two of us. Sometimes we get dinner too. She recently invited me to her house and we hungout in her backyard for awhile there.. She's always really flirty and we've talked openly about sex. Recently, I asked her out on a date. She said she's sorry but she's emotionally unavailable. I kinda knew this, she's told me she's still in love with her ex, but I thought I'd ask anyway based on the amount of time we've spent together. A few days ago, on my request, we sat down and talked. I told her it's getting hard not to be physical with her while hanging out. She said she does have sexual feelings for me and a hookup might be a possibility in the future. But she also said this happens with all of her guy friends, and she flirts "unconsciously". I haven't liked someone like this in a really long time, so I have no idea what to do. On one hand, I'd love to have sex with her but I know I'll just be wanting more after it. I have tried to by physical with her in the past though, so I don't know if she's just saying sex might be a possibility to keep my attention. That being said, I think of her all the time and have had a huge crush on her for months. I see her at work once every week or so, so it almost impossible to go full no contact without getting another job. I'm just kinda in a rough spot, and could use advice from anyone who's had a situation similar to mine. Be her friend but don't expect more from her. She's player/flirt/tease is that what you really want from a woman. She has someone else your not going to get anything from this one except trouble. Back-off don't spend your money on her. No win with her. You just get blue if you know what I mean. Need a someone else who doesn't play like this with you. Do not feel love for anyone until they tell you they love you. Magical words but it has a meaning.. She's not the woman for you period. Shes a work woman I see your in trouble back off your intentions now. She tired you out. I had one years ago when I was younger taking out all the guys from work for lunch over hear apartment. Each guy reported a different experience. The Female supervisor was hot tight jeans nice chest, blue eyes and long blonde hair. Sure anyone would drive off with her for lunch in your late 70's corvette. When I got to her place she ask me if I wanted blank, blank. But so remember you have to go back to work so what do you do? The right thing ask for something different. She got the point and we had lunch and talk and she drove me back to work We only had 1 hr but it ran over to 1 hr 30 mins. I can't see you doing NC on her because she is someone you have to work with. Edited August 14, 2017 by coolheadal
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