thejackals Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Hey everyone! Just want to know you're opinions. I have this friend back in college. She was already married and had a kid, we became good friends until we graduated. After graduation we became really friends and I even get to be friends with her husband as well. Then as it went on I started to realize that I was already falling for her, I know that its no longer possible for me to confess my feelings, but I know for sure that I am madly in love with her. I fully aware though that what im feeling isnt going to be good but will just cause me pain, so I decided to find a way to break up our friendship, that way I can stay away from her. If I just avoid her there will be days that I will surely miss her and that I might not be able to control or contain myself in communicating with her. I really love her but I have to stay away. A few years have passed, I know shes still the one I love, and what hurts me the most is the fact that when we met a few days ago she would have just ignored me, I called her out and asked her how she was, but I know she would have preferred to avoid me. That day was the worst day of my life, I really felt so down as if the my life got shattered. I felt so guilty that I just wanted to tell her the reason why I did the thing that made her hate me. That because I fell in love with her and I know that was wrong, I was left with no choice but end my connection with her by making her mad. The pain just felt like it happened just yesterday, then, a few days after we met each other after 2 years, I decide to send her an email because she blocked me on social media. I told her everything, that I have no choice but to find a way to break our friendship because I was too afraid of my feelings for her. I dont want to become a home wrecker. Apart of me though, fully regrets that I could have managed the situation way much better and not to break our friendship. She didnt reply on my email and I know that I can only hope to know what she thinks if ever we'll see each other again.
somanymistakes Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Oh dear. It seems like you know in your head that this is a disastrous situation, but (like so many of us!) you can't quite convince yourself to stick to what you know is the safest thing to do. Telling her ups the drama and puts pressure on her to react... especially as you haven't blocked her properly and are still waiting and hoping to hear from her...
DKT3 Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Women are far more capable of maintaining a relationship with men and not have it cross into a romantic situation. I guessing that since she involved her husband that she isn't interested on that level. If that is the case, confessing your feelings will likely drive her completely away for good. It seems that many women find it a betrayal on so levels when a male friend professes romantic interest. For your sake, I would make that email your last contact. You can and will find someone else, but it starts with letting go of this idealistic fantasy of she being "THE ONE" 2
Author thejackals Posted August 14, 2017 Author Posted August 14, 2017 Oh dear. It seems like you know in your head that this is a disastrous situation, but (like so many of us!) you can't quite convince yourself to stick to what you know is the safest thing to do. Telling her ups the drama and puts pressure on her to react... especially as you haven't blocked her properly and are still waiting and hoping to hear from her... i can get over the feeling of loving her beyond our friendship...im struggling to fight for the friendship that i have broken...thats where my guilt really came from, although i know it wont be that easy anymore and for sure if in case get back as friends i again im still going to be scared because i know id easily fall for her...i just love her so much i guess, but i have to make the right choice.
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