elaine567 Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 I'm not saying I want it to be a relationship straight away but surely the whole point of dating is to get to know someone to see if they might be suitable as a partner in the future? Yes, and he essentially went MIA on you. So I messaged today with a very non committal 'Hi, how was your weekend?' He replied within a couple of hours (unusual for him in the work day as usually too busy and messages in evenings due to high pressured job) and said he'd had an unexpected very busy weekend and went into details. It seems legit and thats fine. But Yes you got a reply but has he actually suggested you meet up? The ball was in his court and he left it there, you went looking for the ball in his court, picked it up and lobbed it back to him, but he has not so far attempted to lob it back to you again has he? His reply such as it was I guess was more polite than enthusiastic. The bal is still in his court. 1
Author Newtoallofthis Posted August 14, 2017 Author Posted August 14, 2017 Yes, and he essentially went MIA on you. Yes you got a reply but has he actually suggested you meet up? The ball was in his court and he left it there, you went looking for the ball in his court, picked it up and lobbed it back to him, but he has not so far attempted to lob it back to you again has he? His reply such as it was I guess was more polite than enthusiastic. The bal is still in his court. You are right. I'm finding it hard to know what expectations of contact I should have-if any. We've met only twice which isn't much at all, but it has been over 6 weeks and with regular messaging contact. He went MIA for a few days and has replied now...but like you guys say, only because I initiated it. It's not unusual for us to be chatting and not mention meeting up, but that's perhaps the problem. Not enough enthusiasm for it. I guess if he really wanted to see me he'd be asking. I think anything this hard work at such an early stage might indicate it's not going to work....
CryForNoOne Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 In his reply he talked about his very busy few days and then asked how I was and what I'd been up to, so the ball is back in my court to respond.... Yes it is fine to respond, but what others are saying is that the ball is in his court to ask you out again.
CryForNoOne Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 I know this is the way OLD plays out nowadays but it sucks. Why can't people just be courteous and nice?! Honestly, all it takes is a 'thanks but no thanks' message and it's done. The sudden ghosting is just kind of mean. Maybe I don't have thick enough skin for this..... I used to say the same thing when I first started using OLD. I'd go out of my way to end things properly and offer to remain friends. Which they agreed to yet, ALWAYS blocked on Facebook and their cell phone within 24 hours as if I had done something terrible to them. Meanwhile, women never gave me any resolution if they wanted to end it - they just ghosted. So after a while, I just started doing it. Learned behavior I guess... 2
d0nnivain Posted August 14, 2017 Posted August 14, 2017 In his reply he talked about his very busy few days and then asked how I was and what I'd been up to, so the ball is back in my court to respond.... Fine, you can respond but you can't ask him out. Tell him whatever but do make it sound like you weren't sitting around wondering where he was. Do not ask him to get together. At most, say something like "call me when your scheduled frees up." 1
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