penangtravel Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Hi, I met a guy on tinder about a month ago and I'm very confused. I think he's not interested any more. We met initially about a month ago spent about 4 hours together. I didn't hear from him straight away, but he text me a couple of days after and we met up. Second date was nice - but no kiss.. Third time we met I went over to his house. I ended up staying over but didn't sleep together. We continued messaging and I was looking forward to seeing him again. We met again, it started off nice but progressively felt stranger as he didn't hold my hand or show any affection- it was like the time I stayed over hadn't happened. Needless to say I was a bit upset after the date. He had hinted during the date that he wanted to go travelling for a few months. I text him after the date purely because we had been messaging a lot and it felt very odd not to. During our conversation he said that he had had a nice time that evening and hoped it wasn't weird. This confused me as of course it was weird. I said that I was enjoying hanging out with him - he replied saying he was enjoying it too but was a bit confused at the moment as he doesn't like his job and wants to travel for a bit. So I was like ok classic - he doesn't want anything. He said he'd like to keep meeting up and see what happens... I was very cautious and was wary that I was getting myself into a stupid situation however I knew that I myself was also going away for 3.5 weeks and that I didn't want to rush into anything. We met 3 more times, spending a day together just before I went on holiday (this Tuesday) during the week he also resigned from his job and decided he may go travelling but has made no specific plans. We messaged a bit after our last meeting but didn't talk about 'where we were or what was happening'.I left on Thursday to go on holiday - we messaged a bit, he asked questions about my trip but he hasn't replied to my last text. It's been almost two days since I heard from him. It feels weird, we were messaging every day and now nothing. I know we are both at very uncertain points in our lives but I am just hurt that he's cutting me out. He could be seeing someone else I don't know. But because we left it as 'keep hanging out see what happens' I feel like I can't ask. I don't want to be the needy person asking why he hasn't text but also I feel like we've seen each other a lot and this isn't very fair to just disappear. 1
Lobouspo Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 So just to clarify OP, you did not sleep with him? I assume he's still active on his Tinder account? He could be doing the slow fade for a number of reasons or no reason at all. In today's mobile, transitory dating culture, this type of thing isn't unusual. Contact him if you want to see what's up, but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter? OP, in the future try to keep expectations low and take things slowly, never put all your eggs in one basket with one guy until he proves worthy enough. In the meantime, get back on Tinder and enjoy yourself. Billions more on planet earth to get to know and share experiences with.
Author penangtravel Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 No, we have done things but not actually slept together. I didn't sleep with him because of the uncertainty. Im sure in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter but I'm just annoyed with myself. I can't seem to manage my expectations. I'm 34 and feel like I am a loser and unable to meet someone who actually thinks I'm worth spending time with. I think I felt like he was interested but was holding back because of his uncertainty. I don't want to keep messaging him and come across as needy but at the same time I want clarification as to whether he actually liked me.
rightondude Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 I don't want to keep messaging him and come across as needy but at the same time I want clarification as to whether he actually liked me. I hate to say it, but if he does like you, you won't need to ask that question..
coolheadal Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 No, we have done things but not actually slept together. I didn't sleep with him because of the uncertainty. Im sure in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter but I'm just annoyed with myself. I can't seem to manage my expectations. I'm 34 and feel like I am a loser and unable to meet someone who actually thinks I'm worth spending time with. I think I felt like he was interested but was holding back because of his uncertainty. I don't want to keep messaging him and come across as needy but at the same time I want clarification as to whether he actually liked me. First off you have fear in your heart. You can't see anyone until that fear is gone. Your not stable for any guy right now your to unstable. Tinder is you win some you loose some. This guy just goes after those he can get, you he can't get so he's gone already. You would only contact him if you wanted to be with him at a later date but you can't even do that. Do you see what's happening here..
Author penangtravel Posted August 14, 2017 Author Posted August 14, 2017 First off you have fear in your heart. You can't see anyone until that fear is gone. Your not stable for any guy right now your to unstable. Tinder is you win some you loose some. This guy just goes after those he can get, you he can't get so he's gone already. You would only contact him if you wanted to be with him at a later date but you can't even do that. Do you see what's happening here.. This is so true - I am scared but I am not sure what of. Rejection? It's not as if that hasn't happened before. Getting old? Growing old alone?! Aargh How do you get rid of the fear?? I did text him - he text me back - I think I should just wait and see what happens when I am back home and see if he is traveling also.
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