Blue Tears Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Hi Love Shack forum members, I trust that you're all well! Quick background: age of 20 from Australia I have been talking to a girl I really love for 5 months now, we both enjoy talking to each other but something weird has happened recently, let me explain I confessed to her that I loved her she actually got really happy and told me she is interested in a future with me (hopefully), I asked her if she loved me, she said ''why would I talk to you if I wasn't interested'' I told her she has a point, but I told her my question was ''do you love me?'' and she said no... I always tell her I love her but all she does is changes the subject or stays silent, she told me it's not easy for her to tell someone that she loves them, I am the first guy that she has ever spoken to, maybe thats why? Moral of my point, I need advice from people, I feel like I am throwing away my man-hood by constantly telling her that I love her and getting nothing in return, today she made me delete over 100 girls on my Instagram and when I asked her to delete guys on her Instagram she said she will when the time comes:o Can someone give me advice? I don't know if what I am doing is right or wrong this is the first time I ever fell in love, I just want things to go well. thank you for reading, all responses are appreciated!
OatsAndHall Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Telling someone that you love them is awkward, even when the feelings are reciprocated. I would suggest that you stop saying/texting those two-three words if you want to make the relationship work. At this point, you're probably making her very uncomfortable every time you say it and that isn't good for the relationship. And for future reference, if this relationship doesn't work out and you fall for someone else, take a more practical approach. "I need to tell you something but I don't expect you to reciprocate if you don't feel the same way. I love you". Don't ask them if they love you; just throw it out there, put the ball in their court and wait. If they don't reciprocate, don't continue to tell them you love them as it is going to make them spooky.
Author Blue Tears Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 telling someone that you ''love'' them is awkward? how so..? I asked her if she loved me to see if we're on the same page so I could possibly get a better understanding of her feelings towards me. but this ''I love you'' towards her has become a habit, she is actually used to it now, I also call her words like ''my love'' ''baby'' , I feel soo stupid if I don't call her these words for a day she will think I am angry at her or something. I stuffed up soo bad by using these cute terms with her:mad:
act00 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 You say you've been "talking" to her. What is talking? Do you only text, email, Skype? Have you met in person? Have you been able to spend time with her, kiss her, touch her? Have you been intimate in the bedroom? Or are you just talking? Without spending time together in real life, together, physically, I can't say it's true love. She seems to have feelings for you, but she's not willing to say she loves you until there is more substance. If she wants you to delete girls from Instagram and be exclusive only to her, yet she is unwilling to do the same, then you have a major issue. You are either both on the same page as far as exclusivity and monogamy or you're not, regardless of the L-word. She doesn't get to demand your undying devotion while she continues to fish. Sorry. That doesn't fly. I would suggest you stop saying it. She clearly isn't ready for that yet and she may be giving it more time...five months is kind of on the soon end, and especially if you're just talking and you haven't really met. When she gets upset that you stop saying it, just be honest with her in that you think that you both need to catch up with each other. If she's not feeling it enough to say it, then you are going to be patient until she is. You can still use pet names, but refrain from "I love you." If this causes her to leave you, then it wasn't meant to be. Her not deleting men from her social media while she demands that you delete the women from your social media is a huge red flag. I would rethink this relationship. She doesn't want you to seek other women or enjoy their social media presence, but she is unwilling to do the same. She wants you sniffing after her while she goes about her flirting, dating, meeting other men, and her life.
smackie9 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 All she is interested in is the attention you give her.....stop being peoples pet penpals. You are robbing yourself of actually finding a GF irl. Find other means to meet girls. 1
Robratory Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 You say you've been "talking" to a girl for five months. If that's all you've been doing, and all or most of it online, then I'm sorry to day this, but you don't really have a girlfriend. You have a penpal. Now, if you've been having sex with her for five months, then it's certainly appropriate to talk about feelings and where's everyone coming from. And if you're feeling love, but she isn't, it's not a good sign. Love is a delusion, so for it to work, it has to be a shared delusion. I don't like the fact that she made you delete pictures (100 girls? That you've met?) from your instagram and then declined to do the same to her account. She sounds manipulative. Most first loves don't work out because neither one in the couple really knows what they want. And that's ok. 1
smackie9 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 telling someone that you ''love'' them is awkward? how so..? I asked her if she loved me to see if we're on the same page so I could possibly get a better understanding of her feelings towards me. but this ''I love you'' towards her has become a habit, she is actually used to it now, I also call her words like ''my love'' ''baby'' , I feel soo stupid if I don't call her these words for a day she will think I am angry at her or something. I stuffed up soo bad by using these cute terms with her:mad: You also stuffed up real bad giving your heart to her.....
LoverOfDance Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 I think if you haven't met her yet, make an effort to start meeting up so that you guys can take your relationship to the next level and really get to know each other better.
Miss Spider Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 This girl is walking all over you. She will continue to do that as long as you allow it to continue! You're giving her what she wants and she doesn't have to give anything in return, so she won't.
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