Guitarisgood Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 She'd been chasing me for a while. So I finally relented and long story short after a couple dates, we ended up back at my place. I found out this was her first time and we ended up still doing it. Doing it til next morning surprisingly. Obviously I cuddled and whispered nice things to her throughout. The next morning she spent it 'pondering' a lot. She talked about how she was fiercely independent and was strong enough to bat away guys until she met me. She mentioned she came from a fairly religious background. Her having had things to do, I dropped her off and caught up with her later to spend the afternoon together. I've just dropped her off again. The question is, I've never taken a girls virginity. But I like her in the way I see a future with her. Any tips during this early stage how a guy should act/ be? Or just carry on as usual?
Frostedflake Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Seems like you're doing it right thus far. Stay humble, stay open to her feelings, etc. Her letting you into the whole "I come from a religious family" aspect was letting you into the personal side and some thoughts she might be having. She might even have a panic moment about it later. And her family might find out and have feelings about you for it. All sorts of possibilities. But you like this girl and you see a future, so don't be scared off. Stay strong and communicate.
BluesPower Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 You should know most of this... but main word to you is "Gently". If you were here first and she has been waiting, most likely that is a signal to you that you are important to her. You should be honored that she chose you to be her first lover. If she asks about it later, be sure to tell her that you are honored that she choose you, but only if she brings that up. . For gods sake don't say or do anything stupid or act like you were displeased in any way. You can really mess a girl up if you do something like that. She needs to believe that it was magical even if it was not. However if you guys went all night it must have been pretty good. If you want to be with her long term, make her feel like a queen...And yes send her flowers, with out a doubt. 4
Author Guitarisgood Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 Ok flowers sound like the go. Will do! So what should I expect from a girl to be like after her first? She made mention how she has always been fiercely independent and that this has scared her with how vulnerable she feels.
Robratory Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Ok flowers sound like the go. Will do! So what should I expect from a girl to be like after her first? She made mention how she has always been fiercely independent and that this has scared her with how vulnerable she feels. Whatever she said about being fiercely independent has nothing to do with having been a virgin. Had she not been a virgin, she would still say that. Send her some flowers, but don't make it an extravagant expense. If you can't find nice cheap flowers, send her a card. But wait a minute... don't do this because she was a virgin. Losing her virginity didn't put her in the hospital, so she doesn't need flowers and cards. She doesn't need to be treated specially because she went through the deflowering experience, especially since she doesn't seem to have any huge regrets. Any affectionate gesture you make should be because you like her, and that's all. As for continued sex, of course make sure to prevent pregnancy, but just as importantly, talk about it with her as if it were normal among couples. Find out what works and what doesn't. And turn the ratio of foreplay to intercourse around. Left to our own devices, most guys think 10% foreplay and 90% intercourse is the right mix, but we only last 5 minutes in intercourse, so that means the whole shebang only goes on for five and a half minutes. And then the girl is going, "But... where's the magic?" So do the 90% foreplay and 10% intercourse mix. With intercourse lasting only 5 minutes, that means 50 minutes of foreplay. That works better.
OatsAndHall Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 All of the advice above is good. But, be careful and slow when it comes to the physical side of things right now as she is probably processing a lot right now. I would let her guide the physical side of things for a little while. She may be completely at peace with her decision and you guys will begin a fun, healthy sex life. Or, she may still be conflicted about it, given her religious beliefs, and she will want to back off for a little while. Just don't take it personally.
smackie9 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Sounds to me she's satisfied with her choice and is happy to continue seeing you. What is there else to do but treat her like you do anyone else you have an interest in. 2
JuneL Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 I'm confused. Were you not attracted to her before? Why did she have to chase until you relented? How did she chase? I think her saying that she's independent and religious was to give an excuse/explanation for why she was still a virgin. 1
Maggie4 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 So what should I expect from a girl to be like after her first? Sore. And you had sex all night? We are talking about flesh that has never been stretched and rubbed, so there may be irritation or even urinary tract infection. Did she bleed? Or did she have no discomfort at all?
guest569 Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 LOL What is with the flowers?? I think acting normal would be the best. Don't make it a big deal, cause it isn't. 4
joseb Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 LOL What is with the flowers?? I think acting normal would be the best. Don't make it a big deal, cause it isn't. My thoughts exactly
2much4 Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 LOL What is with the flowers?? I think acting normal would be the best. Don't make it a big deal, cause it isn't. I agree. Just be nice, like with any other person you're dating. There's something a bit off about the whole story though.
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