Emma999 Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 I have had a huge crush on this really hot guy in my college and i can't stop thinking about him. But i also have a boyfriend( for about 2 years now) and although i know i don't love him anymore i don't know how to end things with him. I am also a bit scared about a really stupid thing that i had done few months ago. I had sent him an almost nude picture of mine but later told him to delete it though i am pretty sure that he still has it and I'm scared that if i break up with him he might show it to his friends or do something nasty like that. I am really confused right now and i don't know what to do. I am also not sure if that guy likes me or not and we have never talked much. Should i end things with my boyfriend for him? And can i be sure that he won't show my picture to others?
d0nnivain Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 You don't break up with one for another. You do break up because the relationship is over for you. Ask your BF if he still has the picture. Hopefully he did what you asked & destroyed it. Either way you simply tell your BF that it was fun but it's over. It's never fun to be the dumper but you don't have to be cruel about it. There are laws in many states against the dissemination of revenge porn. 4
kendahke Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 I have had a huge crush on this really hot guy in my college and i can't stop thinking about him. But i also have a boyfriend( for about 2 years now) and although i know i don't love him anymore i don't know how to end things with him. I am also a bit scared about a really stupid thing that i had done few months ago. I had sent him an almost nude picture of mine but later told him to delete it though i am pretty sure that he still has it and I'm scared that if i break up with him he might show it to his friends or do something nasty like that. I am really confused right now and i don't know what to do. I am also not sure if that guy likes me or not and we have never talked much. Should i end things with my boyfriend for him? And can i be sure that he won't show my picture to others? You do have a problem. This hot guy--does he even like you or know you? Does he already have a girlfriend that you don't know about? You end things by ending it. If he shows your picture to his friends, then you were right to get someone like that out of your life. In the future, don't send pictures of yourself that you wouldn't want your boss, mother or children to see. People are only confused when they've already got someone they won't let go of while they're trying to get someone else in position to monkey-bar to. You should end things because you are done with your relationship, not for someone who probably doesn't like you like that and has never shown you any interest. 2
caveman621 Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 I agree with the other two posters. If you want to end the relationship with your current boyfriend, then end the relationship with your current boyfriend. I don't think it should be tied to your infatuation with the new guy as well. So do the breakup. Then see where it might go with guy you like.
diddilybop Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 yikes. before you decide to do anything, i'd re-evaluate your current relationship. don't break-up with your boyfriend because you have some fierce crush on a guy and you're curious, end the relationship because you're not happy or in love with your boyfriend anymore. 2
smackie9 Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 If you want to end it but don't want to be the one to do it, start being a bad GF. Slow on communication, be too busy, don't look your best, pick fights, have a lack of interest in sex, bring a few cute girls around that might stir his interest, act miserable.....be unattractive to him. If he asks why, just feed him some crap about being depressed, over whelmed with life, etc. I'm sure in no time he will be looking at new prospects and dumping you off at the curb. 3
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 If you want to end it but don't want to be the one to do it, start being a bad GF. Slow on communication, be too busy, don't look your best, pick fights, have a lack of interest in sex, bring a few cute girls around that might stir his interest, act miserable.....be unattractive to him. If he asks why, just feed him some crap about being depressed, over whelmed with life, etc. I'm sure in no time he will be looking at new prospects and dumping you off at the curb. smackie9, do I detect a heavy dose of sarcasm?!
smackie9 Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 smackie9, do I detect a heavy dose of sarcasm?! No I am quite serious here. I've read enough threads :"Why is he/she losing interest" or "What happened?" or "What could they be thinking?" or "Are they ghosting on me?" to know that this is the method cowards use to end a relationship. 2
kazen Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 If you want to end it but don't want to be the one to do it, start being a bad GF. Slow on communication, be too busy, don't look your best, pick fights, have a lack of interest in sex, bring a few cute girls around that might stir his interest, act miserable.....be unattractive to him. If he asks why, just feed him some crap about being depressed, over whelmed with life, etc. I'm sure in no time he will be looking at new prospects and dumping you off at the curb. I like this suggestion but I don't think it will work fast enough. And it sounds like she wants to end this relationship quick. So I suggest no bathing, no brushing teeth, and no makeup until he breaks up with you. Bad breath and stinky BO will kill his attraction for you in an instant. He'll end it then and there. 1
preraph Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 Borrow his phone and see if the photo is in there. Surely there is a time he leaves it on and leaves the room or is sleeping. Delete the photo. Then break up with him. Do it before anything happens with someone else or he WILL want to hurt you.
healing light Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Just dump the guy you're with. I wouldn't be concerned about the photo. Always assume if you send something like that most young men are probably showing it to their buddies. Haha. That probably already happened if it was ever going to. 4
hercules22 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 If you want to end it but don't want to be the one to do it, start being a bad GF. Slow on communication, be too busy, don't look your best, pick fights, have a lack of interest in sex, bring a few cute girls around that might stir his interest, act miserable.....be unattractive to him. If he asks why, just feed him some crap about being depressed, over whelmed with life, etc. I'm sure in no time he will be looking at new prospects and dumping you off at the curb. wow so sad that people do this
Author Emma999 Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 This is my second post. In my first post i discussed about the problems i was facing and everyone suggested that i should break up with my boyfriend(thanks for the help). But the thing is i don't really know what exactly should i say to him. I don't want to go directly to him and say i have no more feelings for him cz that might be rude. Also we have not been having any serious fights or things like that in our relationship so i can't think of what to say to him. What exactly should i tell him?
HarmonyDriven Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 I did not read your other post so not sure if you see the boyfriend regularly or LDR. If not LDR, then do the break up in person. Of course, if LDR, then phone will work. IMO: Let him know you wish to talk about your relationship. Be calm, be direct, be kind and try not to cry. (could be hard not to cry....maybe not...) Let him know you have not been happy for quite some time and feel your relationship has run its course noting it's time for you to move on. Let him know you have some wonderful memories to keep (if you do) and you wish him all the best, but you don't feel he is the right guy for you and vice versa. He might agree/disagree with what you have said. Once you leave, time to start no contact so both of you can heal and move on. Of course, you tailor the above suggestions to your situation. Good luck 1
basil67 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Telling him that you have lost feelings isn't rude, it's honest. And it's a perfectly acceptable thing to say if you want to beard up. 3
diddilybop Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 while being honest hurts, the important thing is that it's the TRUTH. it's not rude. he'll respect you more by being honest than ghosting on him or taking a cowardly route. on what to say to him? say how you feel about the relationship and why it's not working for you. isn't that why you're breaking up with him in the first place? 1
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 You have been with him for a while but now find yourself attracted to another boy You are not a cheater but recognize that this new attraction is a big sign that your relationship with your BF has run it's course. Sit your BF down. Tell him that he did nothing wrong but that you believe this relationship has run it's course & that it's time to end things. He will be upset but you have to be firm in his decision. Keep it brief. Let him keep his dignity or let him vent. Do not contact him but don't be mean if he chases you. Although we recommend NC here on LS what that means is dumpers (you) don't reach out to see how the EX is doing. That concern translates to false hope for the other person. We tell the dumpee not to chase & beg because it makes them look weak. But I'm of the mind that if the dumpee reaches out in pain, the dumper should be polite, not rude. I'd give him 2-3 minutes to say his piece but quickly end the conversation saying, "It's over & the sooner you stop contacting me, the quicker you will heal." 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Emma999, You have a crush on another guy. You no longer feel the same way about your bf as you once did and you feel that it is best part ways. Tell him the truth. It sounds like you want us to feed you something to help soothe your guilt and help you get out of this relationship. It is also clear that you do not participate in the discussions, the threads you post. This is only your second post here on LS and not a single response to other's suggestions, etc. Try to participate, a little back and forth can be helpful to you. 2
Author Emma999 Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 Emma999, You have a crush on another guy. You no longer feel the same way about your bf as you once did and you feel that it is best part ways. Tell him the truth. It sounds like you want us to feed you something to help soothe your guilt and help you get out of this relationship. It is also clear that you do not participate in the discussions, the threads you post. This is only your second post here on LS and not a single response to other's suggestions, etc. Try to participate, a little back and forth can be helpful to you. Yeah i am new here on LS i created my account just yesterday cz i really needed help. I am planning to tell him now the next time we meet but i don't know why i feel bad about it. We have been in a relationship for a long time and i have some really wonderful memories with him. Also i am very sure that he is still very much into me cz he keeps doing or saying sweet things to me and that makes me feel even more miserable. I'll try to explain it to him calmly and tell him the truth but i just don't know how to start or how he would react.
BaileyB Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 You feel badly because you know that your decision will hurt this man. It doesn't mean that you don't have the right to end this relationship if it's no longer meeting your needs. But, it is the price you pay when you have relationships - you may hurt someone else and you are also vulnerable to being hurt yourself. Just be honest and try to be compassionate in the way that you say it. Expect that he may be upset. But, this too shall pass... It is just another life experience. Someday, you may actually be on the other side... 4
Author Emma999 Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 You do have a problem. This hot guy--does he even like you or know you? Does he already have a girlfriend that you don't know about? You end things by ending it. If he shows your picture to his friends, then you were right to get someone like that out of your life. In the future, don't send pictures of yourself that you wouldn't want your boss, mother or children to see. People are only confused when they've already got someone they won't let go of while they're trying to get someone else in position to monkey-bar to. You should end things because you are done with your relationship, not for someone who probably doesn't like you like that and has never shown you any interest. Yeah i have decided to end things with him the next time we meet bc its clearly unfair if i continue to be with him even when i know i don't like him the same way anymore. Well about the other guy, he does know me but i don't know if he likes me. I am pretty sure he does not have a girlfriend and also I've caught him looking in my direction quite a few times. Though i don't know if that was my imagination or he just found me looking at him all the time and thought i was creepy. I sometimes feel he might find it weird cz i guess he knows about my boyfriend(though I'm not very sure) do you think there is a possibility that he might have some interest in me?
Author Emma999 Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 Borrow his phone and see if the photo is in there. Surely there is a time he leaves it on and leaves the room or is sleeping. Delete the photo. Then break up with him. Do it before anything happens with someone else or he WILL want to hurt you. I tried this a few times but i couldn't find the pic. But he also keeps some pictures in some hideapp and has password in it so i can't see those. That's why I'm not very sure about whether he's deleted it or not.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 I tried this a few times but i couldn't find the pic. But he also keeps some pictures in some hideapp and has password in it so i can't see those. That's why I'm not very sure about whether he's deleted it or not. Are the pics scandalous?! Nudes?
kendahke Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Yeah i have decided to end things with him the next time we meet bc its clearly unfair if i continue to be with him even when i know i don't like him the same way anymore. Well about the other guy, he does know me but i don't know if he likes me. I am pretty sure he does not have a girlfriend "Pretty sure" isn't "I definitely know". It's speculation. I've caught him looking in my direction quite a few times. Though i don't know if that was my imagination or he just found me looking at him all the time and thought i was creepy. I sometimes feel he might find it weird cz i guess he knows about my boyfriend(though I'm not very sure) do you think there is a possibility that he might have some interest in me? No. A man who has interest in you lets you know. A glance means nothing... he might have been trying to figure out how long he could hold his fart and if it was a fart or a liquid surprise and you just happened to be in his line of site. Like I said, end your relationship because you want to end it and be done with it, not for someone who probably doesn't like you like you think he does. 1
Author Emma999 Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 Are the pics scandalous?! Nudes? Not exactly nudes. But its not something I'd want others to see.
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