lovenlife Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 So i was in a 10 year relationship [he was emotionally unavail, and emotionally abusive. protective order.] but i'm no longer blind to his treatment, i'd never go back. Anyways, i haven't been single since age 17!! It is insane to me, i practically NEVER dated..he was like my first boyfriend. First everything. Not to mention, I now have 2 kids. Lol Not saying I'm looking for something super serious, but I do enjoy getting myself out there, meeting new people etc. But I've been having super duper bad luck w/it. I'm actually a really nice person who is always having a lot of fun, I have a big heart, pretty easy to talk to, and i open up to people way too quickly. I get along with all different types of people. SOMEHOW, I am always the one doing the "chasing" though, or putting in more effort I'll feel like. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 Stop chasing. Know your own value. Use multiple avenues to meet people: OLD, MeetUps, volunteering. Engage multiple people. Learn the art of small talk. Be friendly. Also be very selective about who you introduce your children to 2
Author lovenlife Posted August 11, 2017 Author Posted August 11, 2017 Stop chasing. Know your own value. Use multiple avenues to meet people: OLD, MeetUps, volunteering. Engage multiple people. Learn the art of small talk. Be friendly. Also be very selective about who you introduce your children to I did join quite a few apps etc, I go out, try to get out to do new things etc. I am super duper friendly lol. And i introduce NOBODY to my kids, nor will I unless I am serious about them 2
Gaeta Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Make a list of what type of relationship you want and stick to it. Learn to drop men quickly if they don't fit your list. You will not run out of men to date. You will only meet a great guy that treats you right if you learn to discard those unfit quickly. Don't put up with sh&t like he leaves you hanging, he doesn't make plans on regular basis, if he's too busy, etc. Don't date a man that lives too far to make spontaneous last minute plans. Liking a guy isn't a good reason enough to keep him around. View all those men you will drop as a practice till you make it perfect. 2
Sweetfish Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Maybe find a guy that has a kid and not single guys with no kids. 2
Author lovenlife Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 You are pretty much the exact type of girl that a guy would go for if he was just trying to get laid. Single mom used to a crappy guy, newly single, and inexperienced. Yup. Beware of guys who are just trying to get laid and bail on you, especially guys you meet online. Whatever plans a guy comes up with will often give you a clear sign of his intentions. Does he offer to take you out, have some interesting plans in mind, or does he only seem to be free to talk in the evenings and suggests simple plans back at his place? Dang, that sucks to hear. Pretty much been my experience. Kinda sucks lol! But that's definitely true to keep in mind. I'll look for those signs/
Author lovenlife Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 Maybe find a guy that has a kid and not single guys with no kids. To be honest, I really rarely even go for a guy unless he has a kid or kids. Lol. It's actually attractive to me anyways.
Author lovenlife Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 Make a list of what type of relationship you want and stick to it. Learn to drop men quickly if they don't fit your list. You will not run out of men to date. You will only meet a great guy that treats you right if you learn to discard those unfit quickly. Don't put up with sh&t like he leaves you hanging, he doesn't make plans on regular basis, if he's too busy, etc. Don't date a man that lives too far to make spontaneous last minute plans. Liking a guy isn't a good reason enough to keep him around. View all those men you will drop as a practice till you make it perfect. That's a great idea. I've definitely dealt with people leaving my hanging, last minute plans...and i'm kinda so inexperience, maybe a little naive that I figured it was normal. Ha. Oh boy.
stixx Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 So i was in a 10 year relationship [he was emotionally unavail, and emotionally abusive. protective order.] but i'm no longer blind to his treatment, i'd never go back. Anyways, i haven't been single since age 17!! It is insane to me, i practically NEVER dated..he was like my first boyfriend. First everything. Not to mention, I now have 2 kids. Lol Not saying I'm looking for something super serious, but I do enjoy getting myself out there, meeting new people etc. But I've been having super duper bad luck w/it. I'm actually a really nice person who is always having a lot of fun, I have a big heart, pretty easy to talk to, and i open up to people way too quickly. I get along with all different types of people. SOMEHOW, I am always the one doing the "chasing" though, or putting in more effort I'll feel like. Dont try to pick up ppl. I dont know how to pick up woman and I have no lines. All my gals were friends first since college all the way to the past year now that I am single. I gave the one line approach once. I just walked up to her and said "I want to bring you to a friendly dinner and I will not take no for an answer". she said yes. My company had a big job at a site and I wanted to have a date with a woman and was tired of looking at her in the elevator. I bought a single slice of cheesecake on night and brought it in the next day with 2 forks. I walked up to her and asked if she would like to share a piece of cheese for lunch....6 months later she asked me to move in with her in her kick butt condo and I was making champagne brunch on sundays for all her GFs. Yeah, I am a pretty good cook. I cook all my meals every night since I been on my own. Her GFs loved my crapes. LOL... I used to cook and while I was serving them and getting them all drunk and fattening them up I had a blast ease dropping on them "Where did you find this guy? Hes so awesome". It was funny, but I did not love that gal at all. She was beautiful I have to admit and had tons of money, but I didnt feel anything. She ended up being baggage and I moved to another town and she still drove 1 1/2 hours every weekend to come see me. I told her to let it go many times. She finally did.
Simple Logic Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 So i was in a 10 year relationship [he was emotionally unavail, and emotionally abusive. protective order.] but i'm no longer blind to his treatment, i'd never go back. Anyways, i haven't been single since age 17!! It is insane to me, i practically NEVER dated..he was like my first boyfriend. First everything. Not to mention, I now have 2 kids. Lol Not saying I'm looking for something super serious, but I do enjoy getting myself out there, meeting new people etc. But I've been having super duper bad luck w/it. I'm actually a really nice person who is always having a lot of fun, I have a big heart, pretty easy to talk to, and i open up to people way too quickly. I get along with all different types of people. SOMEHOW, I am always the one doing the "chasing" though, or putting in more effort I'll feel like. I have had zero good experiences trying to date women that meet your self description. They always seemed to be chasing somebody and rejecting everyone else.
coolheadal Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 So i was in a 10 year relationship [he was emotionally unavail, and emotionally abusive. protective order.] but i'm no longer blind to his treatment, i'd never go back. Anyways, i haven't been single since age 17!! It is insane to me, i practically NEVER dated..he was like my first boyfriend. First everything. Not to mention, I now have 2 kids. Lol Not saying I'm looking for something super serious, but I do enjoy getting myself out there, meeting new people etc. But I've been having super duper bad luck w/it. I'm actually a really nice person who is always having a lot of fun, I have a big heart, pretty easy to talk to, and i open up to people way too quickly. I get along with all different types of people. SOMEHOW, I am always the one doing the "chasing" though, or putting in more effort I'll feel like. But how do you feel emotionally and mentally are you ready for a new way of life. This jerk you been there are so many of them out there also and then there are a lot who is not. Nothing wrong for you to chase the men, you need to learn all the ropes of the trade. But don't go overboard doing so. Today everyone is playing hard to get! If you see a guy you like and he doesn't want you the same way then you move on to the next one. Not going to be like every guy you meet going to be into you 100%. Same goes for you too. Just make your past is behind you and you don't have anything like triggers that get set off in your head. Guy says something that your ex said or did you act-up. That's why your mind needs to heal. First. if you been at this a while you should be good. 2
Author lovenlife Posted August 18, 2017 Author Posted August 18, 2017 I have had zero good experiences trying to date women that meet your self description. They always seemed to be chasing somebody and rejecting everyone else. Ughhhhhhh. I do that. I've been technically chasing a guy a little bit [i kinda stopped though] so I reject a lot of people or just friend zone them. I always seem to friend zone the ones who like me, but then "chasE" the ones who aren't as into me as I am into them. I dont do it on purpose, it is soooooo annoying. But the ones who show interest in me, i dont feel much attraction to them lol
Author lovenlife Posted August 18, 2017 Author Posted August 18, 2017 I'm just worried about my "vibe" i may be giving off. I'm a pretty hyper, fun person. But I'm not so sure the vibe I am giving off to guys i meet is so great. Lol. I hear a lot from guys "Oh you're so easy going, so easy to talk to. I love it," is that a sign i am being too open? Like i said, literally never dated before..loll. But I am pretty attractive, yet I tend to feel more like a sexual object sometimes, and I do not like it. Nor do I understand why I am chasing guys or showing more interest. Seems kinda backwards
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2017 Posted August 18, 2017 Women are sex objects, at first, but can change into their object of desire
Miss Spider Posted August 18, 2017 Posted August 18, 2017 I'm just worried about my "vibe" i may be giving off. I'm a pretty hyper, fun person. But I'm not so sure the vibe I am giving off to guys i meet is so great. Lol. I hear a lot from guys "Oh you're so easy going, so easy to talk to. I love it," is that a sign i am being too open? Like i said, literally never dated before..loll. But I am pretty attractive, yet I tend to feel more like a sexual object sometimes, and I do not like it. Nor do I understand why I am chasing guys or showing more interest. Seems kinda backwards Easy to talk to is one of the best compliments I can imagine receiving. If you feel like you are doing too much chasing -stop. You will know your true value to someone if you stop chasing and they have to come to you,
Author lovenlife Posted August 20, 2017 Author Posted August 20, 2017 Easy to talk to is one of the best compliments I can imagine receiving. If you feel like you are doing too much chasing -stop. You will know your true value to someone if you stop chasing and they have to come to you, Ok. True.' I wasnt sure if that was a compliment or not! 1
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