Haven't heard from Boyfriend in two days

[LoverOfDance]

I started dating this guy a few weeks ago. He is a football player in University. He has football training camp that starts today. I messaged him on Tuesday telling him about a dream i had about him. Didn't get a reply.

 

It's Thursday and i still haven't heard from him. What do you think i should do? I have no intention of messaging him. I do not think it is a good idea. My gut tells me not to so i won't. Also i messaged him last, so i think it is better to not message him again until i get a reply. Please let me know what your thoughts are.

Edited August 10, 2017 by LoverOfDance

[Lobouspo]

Did you guys get into an argument? Any signs of him being distant or fading away? Just to clarify OP, are you in the States? If he's a college football player, this a really intense time. He's going through two a days, weight training, team meetings and film sessions. Also, it's a key time to impress coaches and perform well in practice because how he does now will determine where he's at on the depth chart and how much playing time he will get once the season starts. Being a college football player once the season starts is akin to holding a full time job in addition to going to school full time.

 

Having said all that, it's still odd not to at least drop you a text, or a phone call just to acknowledge you.

[LoverOfDance]

@Lobouspo Thanks for the reply. No, we live in Canada. I think he plans to play in the NFL eventually (not sure if that's what it's called. I don't know much about football). He has big dreams and football is his passion. He told me that the training camp will be very intense. I understand this. However i don't think it should prevent him from simply saying hello.

 

To answer your question, we did not have a fight.

[diddilybop]

i also wonder if anything happened between you two before he left for training. he may be super busy right now and not in "boyfriend" mode as this is an important time for him. i can see how that may be because when i was in college and i was in an intense dance training program before school started. i was waking up super early every morning and going to bed early every night and my days were packed with training sessions/impressing my dance professors who would determine which performances i'd be casted in. my boyfriend at the time didn't hear that much from me until it was over. however, i agree that it's a little strange that he hasn't sent a little something. maybe wait another day or two and if you don't hear anything at that point, reach out to him to casually check-in.

[HarmonyDriven]

You have been dating a few weeks.

You texted him the other day with no response.

He is in college football camp which is intense.

IMO, I would not contact him.

 

 

IMO, he is either too busy too text (not a good excuse as it is simple to send a quick hello) or he is not longer interested.

 

If he wants you in his life right now, he would/will contact you. In the meantime, I'd start thinking about dating other guys.....

[preraph]

Leave him alone. they very well may have taken their phones. You'll hear from him eventually.

[JS84]

Ya sometimes those football training camps can be a lot like boot camp. He might simply not have the time, could just be exhausted, and as someone else said there could be some kind of rule where he has no access to his phone or isn't allowed to be on it unless it's an emergency.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I really wouldn't worry about it. There are times my life has been so intense I hardly had time to do some of the essentials!

 

Then again, possibly he wants to say more than just a brief hello!

 

You'll hear from him eventually, as preraph already posted.

 

Try to focus on other things if possible. I know it can be difficult.

[mortensorchid]

He's probably busy with the football training. Unless you had some horrible fight you're not telling others about I'm sure he will respond eventually.

[avvril3000]

He's probably busy with the football training. Unless you had some horrible fight you're not telling others about I'm sure he will respond eventually.

 

even if he is busy, he would make time if he wants you in his life, at least he check in and say hey.

 

dont let him be neglecting, and then only contact you when he wants something like a hookup. unless you're ok with that.

 

the fact that he hasnt contacted you in a couple of days proves that you arent a major concern to him. So why treat him the same. Move on, find someone who treats you like you're important.

 

good luck!

[GemmaUK]

This is going to be part of the deal if you enter a relationship with someone with dreams such as this.

Perhaps he should have pre-warned you or perhaps he didn't know in advance how strict things would be but these guys are told to focus on the game with no outside distractions - especially not from the woman in their lives.

This will happen and will be a regular thing if you want to date a guy involved in this type of career.

 

You won't know until he comes back and re-aligns with the normal parts of life (could take a few days) as to whether any of this is down to him not being interested enough in you.

[mikeylo]

Not that into you.

[d0nnivain]

even if he is busy, he would make time if he wants you in his life, at least he check in and say hey.

 

dont let him be neglecting, and then only contact you when he wants something like a hookup. unless you're ok with that.

 

the fact that he hasnt contacted you in a couple of days proves that you arent a major concern to him. So why treat him the same. Move on, find someone who treats you like you're important.

 

good luck!

 

That is only true if the player has access to his cell phone. Many coaches take them away during camp so the players concentrate on the game & training. The coaches don't want their athletes distracted by relationships.

 

OP LoverofDance

 

I agree you should not reach out again but if the guy does pop back up, ask if the coaches took the phones. If yes, continue on with your relationship. If no, well then avvirl's advice is correct.

[Miss Spider]

Maybe he's busy. Give the guy some breathing room... If he doesn't respond in a week I'd start to worry.

[Gaeta]

Training camp started TODAY so he has no excuses for not replying to you since Tuesday. We're talking 4 days here.

 

He's not that into you. He's young, he wants to play football and at his age he's not going to restrain himself by being in a serious relationship. These young men always move in herd, they have tons of attention from women, not the type of man a young serious woman should go after.

[amaysngrace]

He's probably done with you now. He's going to have tons of girls all over him since football season is here.

 

I'm sorry to say

[LoverOfDance]

Thanks for your input guys. It's Friday and I still haven't heard from him. All I can do right now is wait. He told me camp will be done on the 21st of this month. He never told me that I would not hear from him until then.

 

Right now, I'm a little sad and I am trying to not be worried. I wish he had handled this situation better.

[fred123]

Thanks for your input guys. It's Friday and I still haven't heard from him. All I can do right now is wait. He told me camp will be done on the 21st of this month. He never told me that I would not hear from him until then.

 

Right now, I'm a little sad and I am trying to not be worried. I wish he had handled this situation better.

 

You have only dated a few weeks right? So are you bf and gf or exclusive or just seeing each other? Which one is it?

[LoverOfDance]

@fred123 We are exclusive. He asked me to be his girlfriend a few weeks ago and I said yes.

[Miss Spider]

oh man this is not looking good

[LoverOfDance]

I messaged him and he replied. It seems that he has been working hard. Good for him. I told him I was worried and he asked why. I have nothing else to say to him at this point. I just wanted to know that he is alive and well.

[ExpatInItaly]

@fred123 We are exclusive. He asked me to be his girlfriend a few weeks ago and I said yes.

 

Which platform did you message him on? In other words, are you sure your message was delivered? Even if it weren't, it's odd he wouldn't have got in touch with you just to say hi anyway.

 

In truly 21st-century fashion, have you seen if he's active on any social media?

[Gaeta]

I messaged him and he replied. It seems that he has been working hard. Good for him. I told him I was worried and he asked why. I have nothing else to say to him at this point. I just wanted to know that he is alive and well.

 

I am sorry hon,

 

A lot of men will disappoint you before you meet one worth your time.

[smackie9]

Is there any real proof has gone to training camp? or he just told you he was.......

[ExpatInItaly]

I messaged him and he replied. It seems that he has been working hard. Good for him. I told him I was worried and he asked why. I have nothing else to say to him at this point. I just wanted to know that he is alive and well.

 

Eh, why wouldn't his own girlfriend be worried after not hearing anything for a couple days?

 

I don't know, OP. He doesn't sound overly bothered about it, which isn't a good sign.