Maldives Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 This happened to me as well. Can I ask how long you have been broken up for and NC before the call? Mine was roughly two months in. I answered as it was late at night and I thought it might be an emergency. She just wanted to see how I was. Told me she missed me. We talked about what we had been up to, and then she broke down and started crying. Told me about my shortcomings and what she had needed from me. Apologized for her part in it, and she never meant to hurt me. (The call was also around 90 minutes) I assumed it was a closure conversation. I continued NC and did not hear from her for a month, and then a breadcrumb text. This happened every month for about 2 months and then the period of time got shorter and shorter. Then another phone call telling me she loved me and wanted to try again. Then silence for another couple of weeks. She texted again and I told her I could not keep doing this. It was not fair. About two months ago, she calls me up out of the blue to meet and talk. I go, she says she wants to get back together, but it is a yes or no question. I say yes, because I still love her of course That lasted two weeks before she ripped my heart out again and stomped on it. Pretty sure she hooked up with someone else and then made excuses about how we cant fix what is broken blah blah. My advice to you? Be very very careful here. I am guessing she is lonely, but she still does not know what she wants (like my ex) I would maintain nc, and do everything in your power to not get hurt again bud. It is worse the second time around. Trust me. Same thing happened wth my ex wife. Came back I wasn't sure a few weeks passed I'd sms and responses got short and shorter when I finally confronted her she wanted a divorce sabotaged a new relationship of started. Not saying all reconciliation happen this way but u do have to ask yourself if they truly wanted to work things out why did they break up for such a long period in the 1st place? My guess is to figure out wether they want to stay committed in the relationship possibly see if the feelings they lost come back to figure things out who knows. A break up is never the solution to fixing things in a relationship.
Author Cchance11 Posted September 14, 2017 Author Posted September 14, 2017 I messaged my ex girlfriend tonight letting her know I saw a friendly pit bull today that reminded me of her and I was thinking of her. We got to talking about her recent work day where I kept her engaged with questions regarding work. I felt the work talk was getting old and tried to ask if she uptook any hobbies recently. She said no and I asked if her dad been bringing her to breweries. She said she doesn't drink much but went out twice with a girlfriend near the water. I asked where and she told me and I replied "You got to drink up when you're at one of those, you let Emily out drink you?" and she has not replied at all for more than 2 hours. I assume she won't pertaining to this. was this too much? Why would she not respond after responding quite a bit and in a great timely fashion? We had a heart to heart 4 days ago talking about the old relationship where she said she never fell out of love with me and she doesn't know what will happen, she will "go with the flow". So I reached out tonight. Was this an okay lay thing to do? I know she saw it, it was read, and she has been on Snapchat since. What do I make of this girls? And what do I do from here on? Thanks!
tnt41 Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 Did she ask you questions, too, or pushing the conversation further? Or was she simply replying?
Author Cchance11 Posted September 14, 2017 Author Posted September 14, 2017 She was responding with interest, no questions, but was answering in detail and lol'd some
tnt41 Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 There's no real way to say for sure, especially when we don't know her personality. I don't see anything wrong with the message, but only she knows how she reacted. There could be any number of reasons that she stopped replying, though, ranging from just getting busy to being cautious of or disinterested in talking. If you felt that the conversation went mostly well, I'd suggest trying another in a couple to few days. Keep it somewhat short, & end it on a positive note where you don't have to worry about whether or not she's going to trail the conversation off. If she's interested, she'll probably start pushing the conversation along after a talk or two.
CaliBabe Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 If I were her, I may feel smothered? Maybe give her space and allow her to come to you some. Keep it where its 50/50. No more, no less.
Author Cchance11 Posted September 18, 2017 Author Posted September 18, 2017 Dated my ex gf for 3 years. She ended it 2.5 months ago after I got complacent, lazy, and overall took her for granted. I put myself first and did things I wanted to do. I begged and pleaded for a week after she broke up with me and after that went 1 month strict NC. I go to college and am in my senior year. Before I left I get a text from her apologizing for not letting me speak after the breakup and telling me to make the most of my year. I relieved her guilt telling her I had no ill feelings. 2 weeks later she texts me telling me she misses me so much and feels she did not make the right choice because she now realizes how much she misses me. She tells me she still cares a lot. I ask for time and we call each other 3 days later. This conversation starts off natural, but she breaks down and expresses everything I failed to do and how much she was hurt. We cried and I apologized for everything letting her know I've been working on myself. A few days after, I reach out through text and we chit chat for about an hour until she doesn't reply. Two days after that she reaches out to me by text and we have a upbeat conversation with emojis and laughs. She shows me her new hair in a picture and I complement it. She says "thank you, I love it!" And I say "you're welcome :)" It's two days since then and we haven't contacted one another. I'm stuck. I want her back. I don't know what she wants. In the phone call she says she is just going to go with the flow and the morning after she re added me on Snapchat. What can I do from heat to get the love of my life back???
Marc878 Posted September 18, 2017 Posted September 18, 2017 Concentrate on your final year and do great. Learn from this and move on with your life. If you do by chance get together in the foputure you'll be a more complete person. You weren't ready for a long term relationship It isn't the end of the world and you're to young to dote on this. Break ups happen.
Author Cchance11 Posted September 19, 2017 Author Posted September 19, 2017 Speak of the devil... she text me again tonight starting a little conversation. We even teased about her doing my homework for me. I think this is positive.
Jchav123 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 Speak of the devil... she text me again tonight starting a little conversation. We even teased about her doing my homework for me. I think this is positive. Play it careful man. Don't come across as too needy or insecure. Always be positive and simple. Treat her like a best friend and not a girl you broke up with right now. Most importantly, continue to work on yourself. Have a life and live it. Make sure she knows. She will want to be part of it when she is ready. 1
coolheadal Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 Dated my ex gf for 3 years. She ended it 2.5 months ago after I got complacent, lazy, and overall took her for granted. I put myself first and did things I wanted to do. I begged and pleaded for a week after she broke up with me and after that went 1 month strict NC. I go to college and am in my senior year. Before I left I get a text from her apologizing for not letting me speak after the breakup and telling me to make the most of my year. I relieved her guilt telling her I had no ill feelings. 2 weeks later she texts me telling me she misses me so much and feels she did not make the right choice because she now realizes how much she misses me. She tells me she still cares a lot. I ask for time and we call each other 3 days later. This conversation starts off natural, but she breaks down and expresses everything I failed to do and how much she was hurt. We cried and I apologized for everything letting her know I've been working on myself. A few days after, I reach out through text and we chit chat for about an hour until she doesn't reply. Two days after that she reaches out to me by text and we have a upbeat conversation with emojis and laughs. She shows me her new hair in a picture and I complement it. She says "thank you, I love it!" And I say "you're welcome :)" It's two days since then and we haven't contacted one another. I'm stuck. I want her back. I don't know what she wants. In the phone call she says she is just going to go with the flow and the morning after she re added me on Snapchat. What can I do from heat to get the love of my life back??? Just listen to her, she is telling you what is going on.. You two need a break and relax. You have her love as you have her love. leave it that for now. She told you to go with the flow each day listen to her words and understand them. Don't rush her and you shouldn't be rush. Two of you cry that's a good sigh of pure love doesn't come around like that too often. Listen to me take it slow finish what you need to finish then be with her when you can, but give her space to want to be with you so much she makes the advancements not all time time you as the leader should be. Get your confidence back too, your do not want to show weakness as a man.
Author Cchance11 Posted September 26, 2017 Author Posted September 26, 2017 Been apart for 3 months after 3 years together. A month of no contact and she reached out saying she misses me a lot and still cares. She also said she does not feel like she made the right decision because as time goes on she really misses me. We had a phone call Conversation laying out all the flaws and the way I took her for granted and hurt her. This lead to me reaching out in text and we texted back and fourth until she stopped replying. 2 days after she initiated contact and was curious about my day and she even sent a picture of her new hair to me. 2 days again later she initiates again and we have friendly banter and even teasing about doing my college homework. This ended with her saying "yea it's probably best if you do it lol" I replied "yea, I got this" and she replied "I'm sure you do!" Well I did not reply and that was our last contact. It has been a week exactly. I'm left to anticipate any meaning through these conversations and her doubting her choice at one point about 3 weeks ago. I know it could be nothing but after the phone call she added me back on Snapchat and within this last week she posted a story with a screenshot of the song "pinch me" by bare naked ladies. The caption said "the feels ". After I viewed it, she took it down. It wasn't even up for 20 minutes. Are these signs she is looking for me to initiate and show I still care? Do I wait for her to initiate again? Start NC? Reach out asking how she is? I'm so lost right now and my ultimate goal is to get her back slowly and start something new with the girl I still love. Please help. I don't believe it's all over. I think we are in a power struggle. What do I do now?!!!
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 Pretend she's a new girl & ask her on a date. Keep it light. Don't act like you have been together for 3 years. Be polite, respectful & attentive.
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