Jt93 Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Hi Everyone, Just looking for some opinions really to see if they differ to what i think. When talking to girls, by text or online and a conversation is going well and then all of a sudden they do not reply, is that because they are not interested? Normally if this happens I will just let things be and not contact them any more but do you think in some instances it would be worth sending another message or best to just leave it? and if you do think another message, what could be said without looking creepy? I understand people are busy and have different schedules but there is no way of telling if they are genuinely busy and forget or if they are just not interested? Your thoughts would be much appreciated, especially from the female members.
Miss Spider Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Hi Everyone, Just looking for some opinions really to see if they differ to what i think. When talking to girls, by text or online and a conversation is going well and then all of a sudden they do not reply, is that because they are not interested? Normally if this happens I will just let things be and not contact them any more but do you think in some instances it would be worth sending another message or best to just leave it? and if you do think another message, what could be said without looking creepy? I understand people are busy and have different schedules but there is no way of telling if they are genuinely busy and forget or if they are just not interested? Your thoughts would be much appreciated, especially from the female members. Maybe they want you to ask them out instead of text ad nauseam. Might not be the case for all women but I don't get why someone would be a opposed to meet in a public place after a few good back-and-forths if they're actually interested. 2
act00 Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 It could be they lose interest or they met another guy. They're tired of texting and not meeting or going out. Have you asked any of them out or do you just text endlessly? It wouldn't hurt to send another text. If you haven't asked them out yet, toss that out there as well. See what the response is. Then drop it if no response. 1
Author Jt93 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Posted August 10, 2017 I suppose I understand and there is nothing to lose really apart from looking like a bit of a weirdo if, infact they aren't interested at all. Would you engage with someone at all if you weren't interested? and do you think it would not be a bit strange if, after they ignored my last message that a couple of days later, im like hey, want to get to know each other a bit better meeting face to face? Thats why ive normally just not got back to them again.
Miss Spider Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 and do you think it would not be a bit strange if, after they ignored my last message that a couple of days later, im like hey, want to get to know each other a bit better meeting face to face? Can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. And it's a no-go every time. Also seems like a very obvious indicator of lack of confidence. But it's worth a try. Just don't be surprised if they've moved on. You can ask most women out after a few good exchanges. She will probably know if she's interested enough to meet, even if she says she needs some time to get to know you better via text before she does. Be wary of girls trying to drag it out too long. She might just be using you as an orbiter 1
act00 Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 You can start off with "How's your week going?" If they respond, ask them out. You could even go all out and say something like, "We haven't talked in a couple days. I'd still like to meet you." I've gotten calls/texts days, weeks, and even months later. I'm not opposed to giving it another shot, but that plan to meet had better come soon. I've been seeing a couple people who contact me days later. One is a phone caller, so communication isn't all day and instant. It's not necessarily weird to not talk or text for a couple days. It depends on the communication style of each person, and opinions differ widely on this one on how much is enough, too much, too little, too needy, too aloof, etc. No one knows. I don't think it's weird to reach out after a couple days. If they don't respond or don't actively plan to meet you and just seem to want to text, then you have your answer and move on. The reality boils down to, you won't know until you try.
caveman621 Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 I agree with those who responded earlier. I'm not crazy about texting/messaging forever. If you've sent the last two and they haven't responded, I would let it go. But don't text FOREVER!
Author Jt93 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Posted August 10, 2017 yeah i suppose there is nothing to lose, i could come across as looking a bit shy if i dont ask but i could come across looking like a bit of a creep if they ignore me again but if you dont ask you dont get i assume. This is not for 1 particular situation rather just when it happens in general, just wanted to make sure first before changing what my normal actions are of not responding to them again.
Miss Spider Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 (edited) Why do guys feel like a creep for asking a woman out??? That they met on a dating app??? And have been talking to for days?? It's what is expected of them in most societies so why is it creepy? I mean the worst I could see is just not being interested and not everyone is going to be interested in dating you. just life Edited August 10, 2017 by Cookiesandough
kazen Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 (edited) Why do guys feel like a creep for asking a woman out??? That they met on a dating app??? And have been talking to for days?? It's what is expected of them in most societies so why is it creepy? I mean the worst I could see is just not being interested and not everyone is going to be interested in dating you. just life It's because our modern society has demonized traditional male behaviors. In the UK, if you try to flirt with a girl and she's not interested, it's call harassment, it's against the law. So men don't do that anymore. In America, you can't do that in the workplace, it's consider inappropriate and you might even lose your job. In public, if a man who approaches women and try to hit on them often get label "creep" (thanks ladies). Then you have feminists who gets offended if you look at them sexually. Well, what is a guy to do. So guys become more hesitant nowadays. In my grandpa's days, rejection is all you have to worry about. It's much simpler back then. Edited August 10, 2017 by kazen 1
JuneL Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 How many messages have you exchanged? What stopped you from asking her to meet after a few messages each? It's really a waste of time to chat online with a complete stranger before meeting up. 1
knabe Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 I suppose I understand and there is nothing to lose really apart from looking like a bit of a weirdo if, infact they aren't interested at all. Would you engage with someone at all if you weren't interested? and do you think it would not be a bit strange if, after they ignored my last message that a couple of days later, im like hey, want to get to know each other a bit better meeting face to face? Thats why ive normally just not got back to them again. Her point was not that go back to them after days of silence. Her point is that you don't extend the text conversation indefinitely, and while you're still texting, you go ahead and MEET them. Another thing for guys to remember - if you haven't met, it is not a relationship and they owe you nothing. If you text regularly for a week and then it stops, there is nothing wrong with them or you. Nobody is a flake or a bitty or any other bad word. It just didn't work. That's life. Move on. No need to analyze or ponder why. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Hi Everyone, Just looking for some opinions really to see if they differ to what i think. When talking to girls, by text or online and a conversation is going well and then all of a sudden they do not reply, is that because they are not interested? Normally if this happens I will just let things be and not contact them any more but do you think in some instances it would be worth sending another message or best to just leave it? and if you do think another message, what could be said without looking creepy? I understand people are busy and have different schedules but there is no way of telling if they are genuinely busy and forget or if they are just not interested? Your thoughts would be much appreciated, especially from the female members. You are not the only one they are communicating with...or someone more interesting comes along and he/she decides to cut communication to focus on the prettier package. That's what OLD is all about. When this happens to me, I send a frank message thanking them and wishing them luck. It serves both as a means to indicate I am still interested in communicating AND wishing them well if she is not. I like to make a break w/o any awkwardness. I also tend to move on, so if she does come back some time later, as in days later, I don't respond. I am very confident in who I am and what I offer and if someone is bold enough to simply ghost on me, I know that person is not good enough for me.
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