sanipell Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 So I've been exclusively dating a guy for 2 months now and things have been going great but recently he's been going through a lot in his personal life. Him and his family (he lives with his parents and helps out financially) are looking to find a new home within the next 2 months. He wants to buy a house at auction and has to hire a lawyer to help him do so. To do this he had to take a new job that has him working 11, 12, sometimes 13 hour days making it difficult for us to carve out time to see each other. I know he has a lot going on right now but I asked him what that mean't for us right now and he said still wants to keep dating me but that we won't be able to see each other as often until the situation with his home is settled. So I guess now my question is do I keep dating him until the situation with his home is settled, do I suggest we take a break until things go back to normal for him, or do I just end things. I really like this guy and definitely, don't want to be the girl who leaves a guy when they're going through a difficult time but I'm so confused on what I should do.
Gaeta Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 This is a temporaty situation, did he say how long it will take him to gather all the money he needs? How often can he see you now that he's got a second job? Is it really that bad? My bf works days and is in school at night, every day of the week, we still manage to be together 1-2 nights during the week and spend our weekends together. 1
shellybing Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 So I've been exclusively dating a guy for 2 months now and things have been going great but recently he's been going through a lot in his personal life. Him and his family (he lives with his parents and helps out financially) are looking to find a new home within the next 2 months. He wants to buy a house at auction and has to hire a lawyer to help him do so. To do this he had to take a new job that has him working 11, 12, sometimes 13 hour days making it difficult for us to carve out time to see each other. I know he has a lot going on right now but I asked him what that mean't for us right now and he said still wants to keep dating me but that we won't be able to see each other as often until the situation with his home is settled. So I guess now my question is do I keep dating him until the situation with his home is settled, do I suggest we take a break until things go back to normal for him, or do I just end things. I really like this guy and definitely, don't want to be the girl who leaves a guy when they're going through a difficult time but I'm so confused on what I should do. On the one hand, entering into a new relationship is fickle. You want someone who is going to be steady, and clear, so you can start a new good relationship. On the other hand, life happens. If you were married to this guy, I'd scold you for opting out during a rough time. If you care for him, stay. See where it goes. If it's not the relationship you would like to keep and you are just having fun, find someone who is more apt to offer you time. I would stay and see where it went if I liked him enough. If he didn't seem like a wonderful addition to my life, i would probably let it go. If I were in a long term relationship and already knew the guy more, I would not even bat an eye at working long hours, because I would know that he was doing so to further our life and relationship as a couple. It's too soon to tell what is going on, so ride it out if you choose. If it's not worth it to you, then find someone else. 1
rightondude Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 he said still wants to keep dating me but that we won't be able to see each other as often until the situation with his home is settled well that sounds kinda straightforward, I'd say give him the benefit of the doubt.
bachdude Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 I'm reading this thinking, now here's a guy who isn't afraid to bust his a$$ to do what needs to be done. Admirable in my book. I see this as the difference between a boy and a man. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 It's been 2 months. You are not a priority nor should you be. He's stepping up to the plate & doing what needs to be done for his family. His actions are not about you. They do show he's responsible & mature with his priorities in order. A brand new GF / relative stranger he's only known for 60 days is not at the top of the list at this early stage. You questioning whether to stay with a good guy like this gives me the impression that you are at best a fair weather friend. Either stay or break up but do not mention taking a break. Life is imposing a hiatus & slow down of your interactions because he is working 12 hours per day & can't see you. To say you want a "break" is akin to dumping him. I think you should break it off because he deserves to date somebody with more integrity & the grit to persevere. That's not you. The fact that you are even wondering about his actions is troubling. 2
scooby-philly Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 It's been 2 months. You are not a priority nor should you be. He's stepping up to the plate & doing what needs to be done for his family. His actions are not about you. They do show he's responsible & mature with his priorities in order. A brand new GF / relative stranger he's only known for 60 days is not at the top of the list at this early stage. You questioning whether to stay with a good guy like this gives me the impression that you are at best a fair weather friend. Either stay or break up but do not mention taking a break. Life is imposing a hiatus & slow down of your interactions because he is working 12 hours per day & can't see you. To say you want a "break" is akin to dumping him. I think you should break it off because he deserves to date somebody with more integrity & the grit to persevere. That's not you. The fact that you are even wondering about his actions is troubling. That last part is a bit rough. Not everyone makes every decision in life with full 110% vigor and vim. Maybe she's heard too many stories about how this sort of thing can turn out bad for the "supportive" partner. Or maybe she's seen something similar in her own life. Just because you hesitate doesn't mean you're bad. The question comes down to - if she listens to the advice she's given what does she do? If she tucks tail and run - ok then your point is on target. If she realizes that she likes him, he's shown nothing but good signs, and is hardworking, caring, and supportive of the people he's closet too - and decides to stay - then she will not even remember this. To be honest - i think it's a good sign that she's willing to seek advice without running and making a rash decision one way or the other. JMHO
OatsAndHall Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 "Taking a break" will end your relationship with this guy. So, you need to decide what is more important; having a limited amount of time with him temporarily or call it off. The choice seems pretty cut and dry to me.
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