susanl Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Anyone in a serious relationship but wants to have a fling on the side just for sex. Both parties in a relationship, but just want to do the sexual thing for fun, no commitment, no ties just fun? Don't tell me its wrong I know but not young just want to do a fun thing for once? Go ahead give me your opinions or especially if you have done this and enjoyed or regreted--thanks
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 will it hurt the other party or do they also want a fling ?
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 If your partner is ok with it, and you both afford the other the same freedoms to do that - with an understanding of the possible repercussions, agreements on the parameters and an agreement to play safely, then I see no problem with it.
Author susanl Posted August 10, 2005 Author Posted August 10, 2005 Funny thing is that I am not sure he is ok with it with me but he thinks it is ok with him. Now whether or not he does it or not I guess is up to him. I think it would hurt me if he did but right now --going through a hard time and him being such a a**h***--it might be fun--on the side!!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 So, is it fun on the side that you want - or something to fill a void you are experiencing in your current relationship? Open relationships with sexual involvement only work for very emotionally strong individuals in strong relationships, who are honest with their partners about their outside partners and motivations. If the relationship is open simply because the closed relationship is otherwise unbearable or unhappy, or serves as a means of escape - an open relationship is nothing more than a rest stop on the road to Splitsville.
Marshbear32 Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia So, is it fun on the side that you want - or something to fill a void you are experiencing in your current relationship? Open relationships with sexual involvement only work for very emotionally strong individuals in strong relationships, who are honest with their partners about their outside partners and motivations. If the relationship is open simply because the closed relationship is otherwise unbearable or unhappy, or serves as a means of escape - an open relationship is nothing more than a rest stop on the road to Splitsville. I agree with LB. There is something you are missing in your relationship that is making you want to cheat. You call him an a**h*** so this explains volumes. Obviously you think he is doing this on the side. You feel that by you doing tit for tat you will hurt him. It is an unhealthy relationship and I just can't see it lasting with both of you doing your own thing. I think if you really want some sex on the side you should just break up and find a more compatible partner.
Author susanl Posted August 10, 2005 Author Posted August 10, 2005 Is it a compatible partner or just fun I want-someone explain because right now I am hurt, and tired etc and want to have fun and he is not coming through at all
country gal Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 i agree with LB, Cecelius and everyone... there definately seems to be a void that you are looking to fill, yet there are still things about your man that keep you with him ... its ok if things are missing in a relationship - that will always be - but if they are things that are important to your happiness and things you are not willing to give up/compromise on, then moving on is your best bet.
Author susanl Posted August 10, 2005 Author Posted August 10, 2005 so you think this i guess sexual fun is not a good idea--even though he is doing a great job of nc with me--which really sucks because if he would just call me I think we could work everything out--we usually do. I guess there is a side of me that wants to have fun but doesn't want to ruin this relationship IF he were to find out. This guy asked me for lunch by the hot tub today and fun--so now what??
country gal Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 when it comes down to it, its going to be your call .... but speaking from experience, if its a relationship worth saving, 1) i wouldnt want that guilt sitting over my head - or the worry that he might find out, for that matter and 2) the fact that you want a little something from someone other than you man - and in a sneaky sort of way - is not a sign of a healthy relationship so if you want to keep this relationship, i suggest figuring out a way to work it out with the man so that HE can fulfill those needs for fun. if its not worth saving or you have that much doubt about it, be respectful of him by cutting him loose before you start running around. thats what i did.
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