emerald86 Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 I know it's different for everyone, but I was always under the impression that many people have a "type" of person that they're attracted to. Meaning if you generally tend to go for one personality type, it's highly unlikely that you'd ever go for the opposite personality. Maybe I was wrong though. A friend of mine claims to be very interested in me, and I don't doubt it. Not a day goes by that he doesn't call or text. However, all of his past ex-gfs had the same personality type--loud, outgoing, bubbly, and were the center of attention at every party they ever went to. One of his past relationships in particular lasted 8 years, and this girl was wild and adventurous. She always spoke her mind. On the other hand, I'm very quiet, shy and reserved. I'm still working on developing assertiveness. I'd rather spend my weekends reading books, which is why I find it extremely hard to believe that this guy is into me. I almost feel as if there's no way he could suddenly be attracted to the complete opposite personality type. To be fair though, he is the introverted type himself--he spends many of his weekends by himself, reading or whatever. What do you think? If you've always gone for one personality type, is it possible to suddenly be attracted to someone who's different from everyone you've ever been with?
Slowlydrifting Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 I know it's different for everyone, but I was always under the impression that many people have a "type" of person that they're attracted to. Meaning if you generally tend to go for one personality type, it's highly unlikely that you'd ever go for the opposite personality. Maybe I was wrong though. A friend of mine claims to be very interested in me, and I don't doubt it. Not a day goes by that he doesn't call or text. However, all of his past ex-gfs had the same personality type--loud, outgoing, bubbly, and were the center of attention at every party they ever went to. One of his past relationships in particular lasted 8 years, and this girl was wild and adventurous. She always spoke her mind. On the other hand, I'm very quiet, shy and reserved. I'm still working on developing assertiveness. I'd rather spend my weekends reading books, which is why I find it extremely hard to believe that this guy is into me. I almost feel as if there's no way he could suddenly be attracted to the complete opposite personality type. To be fair though, he is the introverted type himself--he spends many of his weekends by himself, reading or whatever. What do you think? If you've always gone for one personality type, is it possible to suddenly be attracted to someone who's different from everyone you've ever been with? Short answer. No. I have been all over the board. The heart knows..... 2
preraph Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 Hopefully no one is so set in their ways they can't like different types of people. I mean, yes, I mostly dabbled in one particular subculture, music and art people, but within that huge group were many different types. Of courses, if a woman is really pretty, every guy is after her, no matter what type she is. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 I've been all over the board, as well. The one quality I value over all others is confidence, though. Not all had it, and it's not to be confused to arrogance, but it's very important for a healthy relationship. 3
SammySammy Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 I think we are conditioned to believe we are attracted to a certain type of person. I have a "type" that I'm consistently drawn to, but what I've learned is - after getting to know a person - I can be attracted to many people who are not my "type". Having a "type" doesn't mean you're incapable of desiring and loving others. 4
Slowlydrifting Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 I've been all over the board, as well. The one quality I value over all others is confidence, though. Not all had it, and it's not to be confused to arrogance, but it's very important for a healthy relationship. Wow. Confidence is key. This is big with me, too....
Gaeta Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 The type of men I am attracted to has changed many times. I had phases I was attracted to intellectual types, then the gym type, then the bald type...name it.
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Wow. Confidence is key. This is big with me, too.... I personally find confidence a turn off, in both men and women. As soon as I hear someone speak in a loud, self assured voice, I immediately cringe and feel repelled by that person. I feel natiral affinity to people that are more shy and modest, that are sensitive and show vulnerability and self doubt. As for OP - I believe that people are primarily driven to one personality type and will struggle to make the relationship work with someone different.
Bastile Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 My preference for looks has been the same my entire life. My preference in people's nature has been worked on a lot.
Gaeta Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I personally find confidence a turn off, in both men and women. As soon as I hear someone speak in a loud, self assured voice, I immediately cringe and feel repelled by that person. That's not confidence. A confident person will ooze confidence without opening their mouth. Confidence is a state of mind.
Bastile Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Of courses, if a woman is really pretty, every guy is after her, no matter what type she is. That actually hasn't been my experience. I think every guy must have had at least one woman crushing on him, where she just wasn't his type of girl. And had his friends telling him how crazy he was for not being interested. And quite often, it's the very act of not being interested in that girl whom everyone wants which really spurs her desire. Hell, I'd maybe even consider that a sort of right of passage that every guy goes through at some point. I've had people say before that "the ones I don't want, want me. The ones I do want, don't want me". For which, the answer is just learning a little game.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Quite a few people on LS seem to take their "type" very seriously but I just think of my "type" as a few qualities that most easily draw my attention. It can be a whole different ball game as I get to know someone.
Ami1uwant Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 is it personality or looks??? For me, its more personality charachteristics than a personality type. Another factor is common interests.
carhill Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Unfortunately, OP, while we could assist you in working through your own attraction style questions, it's neigh impossible to read the minds of others to know with any certainty if they're attracted to you. Words are cheap. It's actions. Asking on dates. Physical affection. Interest in your life and times. All the little things that add texture to the fabric of interaction. Not reading anyone's mind and attempting to share my own thoughts and reflections on such matters, beyond sanity, mostly anyway, my historic relationships, and marriage, have been all over the place on 'type'. In some ways I think people who hone a specific 'type' of human as their clear preference are more successful in the relationship game over a long lifetime of serial relationships. If they get a lifetime partner out of the first deal, then type is irrelevant. They've got their life partner. IMO, you be you. If he likes you, and you like him, then there ya go. No need to do any pretzel stuff, except if you personally believe in it to grow your own life, for you. Good luck!
Williamjacob Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I know it's different for everyone, but I was always under the impression that many people have a "type" of person that they're attracted to. Meaning if you generally tend to go for one personality type, it's highly unlikely that you'd ever go for the opposite personality. Maybe I was wrong though. A friend of mine claims to be very interested in me, and I don't doubt it. Not a day goes by that he doesn't call or text. However, all of his past ex-gfs had the same personality type--loud, outgoing, bubbly, and were the center of attention at every party they ever went to. One of his past relationships in particular lasted 8 years, and this girl was wild and adventurous. She always spoke her mind. On the other hand, I'm very quiet, shy and reserved. I'm still working on developing assertiveness. I'd rather spend my weekends reading books, which is why I find it extremely hard to believe that this guy is into me. I almost feel as if there's no way he could suddenly be attracted to the complete opposite personality type. To be fair though, he is the introverted type himself--he spends many of his weekends by himself, reading or whatever. What do you think? If you've always gone for one personality type, is it possible to suddenly be attracted to someone who's different from everyone you've ever been with? I am not one to give you advise as I am in the same sort of life you have. I think the man you are talking about finds something interesting in you that he hasn't seen in other women he as dated.
mortensorchid Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 There is a certain physical type I think we go for. I don't really go for blonde haired men, mostly dark haired. And I don't really go for muscle studs either. And many men say the same thing, but it doesn't really go past that in terms of the personality. You realize certain mistakes when you go for those with certain bad personality traits (ex. jealous behaviors), but ... That's how it seems to go. I did know someone who married a woman not too long ago (yes, he and I dated for a flash years ago) and I met his first wife at some point. She looks just like his now second wife. I wonder if it's something ingrained in us or if it's adopted over time.
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Sometimes I wonder dating the same sort of person may mean you have not grown as a person. My boyfriend is a lot different because I'm a lot different from when I last dated my ex and a lot, lot older too. I think you grow in every relationship you are in but I don't think we are really designed to necessarily date over and over. I have one boyfriend who I'd like to marry (If he asks). He wasn't someone I'd necessarily think originally was my type. But I choose him. He's my only option because I want him to be. He may not fit some 'type' I've imagined, but he's definitely grown into my type whatever that may mean. You get past a certain age I think, your "type " are usually exactly the sort of people you shouldn't be dating!!
CptInsano Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I've been all over the board in regards to looks. But I'm attracted to confident and energetic women, many were successful in whatever they aimed to accomplish.
Chilli Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Yep l am . and she's as rare as hens teeth too damn it.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 (edited) I suspect everyone has a 'type.' I certainly have my preferences, but in the end, there are qualities that are simply non-negotiable. Non-negotiable: 1. Must have your financial crap together 2. Must be fit/athletic and live the lifestyle Preferences: I 'prefer' gingers and raven-haired, but those are preferences. Other characteristics go w/o saying...affectionate, kind, loyal, etc. Edited August 9, 2017 by simpleNfit
K.K. Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 (edited) Yes, unfortunately I am attracted to nut jobs. I always want to see the good in them and help them. They bring out the side in me that wants to have the kinkiest sex ever. If there's a crazy within 50 miles, rest assured... I'll find them. Now imagine what that says about me. Uh oh! Reality hits! Edited August 9, 2017 by K.K. .
Echo74 Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Yes, unfortunately I am attracted to nut jobs. I always want to see the good in them and help them. They bring out the side in me that wants to have the kinkiest sex ever. If there's a crazy within 50 miles, rest assured... I'll find them. Now imagine what that says about me. Uh oh! Reality hits! Forgive but...your first statement hit my funny bone. To the OP's question...I've dated all types. But now at my mature age, I do have some preferences but the main thing is they must make me laugh, they must be secure (no jealousy), loyal and financially stable.
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Nope. Attracted to everything under the sun. Was just in a black/latina neighborhood today and ... holy sh@t. :
sanipell Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Personally I don't really have a "type'. Just whoever I have a connection with. I wouldn't say I seek out a specific type of guy purposefully but I have noticed a pattern in the type of men I date/am attracted to (creative artsy types (musicians, artists, writers, etc.) with lots of facial hair lol).
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