Yeo786 Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 Hey guys I'm 25, single, and currently at university, its my 2nd time back at campus and I'm there for 6months now I have very few friends that are actually girls and I'm quite the introvert, with no campus girls that are my friends at all. I recently acquainted myself with this girl from one of my classes, quite pretty, very sweet and friendly. We've only talked to eachother a few times and like the fool i am i feel I've already fell for her. She had approached me in the library during last exam season and we started talking about class and campus etc She's known me since the beginning of the year from classes One of the days before class we were chilling in her car and i noticed my presence was making her quite fidgety, playing with things, can't stay still, playing with her hair, smiling and blushing for nothing etc. We had a lovely conversation and i was trying to flirt/talk her up and felt quite good about it, we were comparing our hands, she let me touch her hair and offered me to drive her car. Please note my women skills just suck Over the entire weekend i was left smitten about this girl Anyway fast forward to yesterday and when i got to campus in the morning she parks next to me and waits, while i was watching a movie in the car. I didn't greet her or anything as i was busy with my movie. So she comes to my driver's side eventually and greets my guy friend in the passenger seat first, completely ignoring me. Going over to the passenger side door she's now playful with my friend punching his arm and stuff while im left frozen in my seat. She then asked if im going to class and stuff and made useless convo, but she made it obvious that my friend had her attention. So we went to class later that day, she saved a seat for me, we barely talked, i tried talking to her alil but no that much. Later on that day i asked my same pal she was so interested in for her number regarding class work, i get the most bland and ****tiest response from her as if she doesn't even wanna talk to me. No smileys nothing. A complete opposite of what she was showing me that friday in her car. I don't know what to do now. I haven't been in a serious relationship in 7 years, nor do i understand women and communicating and stuff. I get so shy sometimes around them i start stuttering and most of the time i find myself avoiding even crossing their paths. This girl also is quite friendly as she has alota guy friends on campus, yet im the total opposite. She's 21 and a 3rd year. She lives on social media (snapchat, IG etc) whereas i don't even have those things Any advice/thoughts or opinions will be greatly appreciated
Author Yeo786 Posted August 8, 2017 Author Posted August 8, 2017 Oh yes if it matters I'm 6'2 i take pride in the way i dress and im always neat and presentable in public
Gaeta Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 she parks next to me and waits, while i was watching a movie in the car. I didn't greet her or anything as i was busy with my movie. Really? This movie was more important to you than to greet her so why would she act anything special toward you? You are 25 years old, I am sure you know where the button *pause* is on your movie player. Don't do that again, it's rude. Invite her out. Ask her out for a drink or a movie. 1
preraph Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 If she's that social and friendly and you're not even able to ask a girl out, then I don't see it working out in the long run. But you are always going to regret if you do not man up and just ask her on a date. 2
bummer Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 It doesn't matter at all what you look like. It's how you act. If you want to get run over by a freight train (or roller coaster) of stuff you don't need, I'd keep over-analyzing these encounters. Try social group outings or campus events where the ice is already broken since you go to the same school. Try flirting and talking with many girls and increase your odds of finding someone more compatible? Try finding and maintaining a female friend so you can build your confidence and get advice from a female perspective. Think of this, if you played basketball a little 7 years ago, it seems reasonable to take small steps to rebuild your skillbase before you jump into a game now. Dating isn't a sink or swim game, there can be a lot of wading around in the shallows before you dive in the deep end. Open up to your passenger friend, ask for advice. He'll know your odds better than random folks picturing a shy 6'2" dude. 1
mikeylo Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 She took the initiative. You ignore her right in her face. Your friend gives her attention. She reciprocates. You are bummed. Oh yeah , you are 6'2 ! What's the question again ? 1
Author Yeo786 Posted August 8, 2017 Author Posted August 8, 2017 She took the initiative. You ignore her right in her face. Your friend gives her attention. She reciprocates. You are bummed. Oh yeah , you are 6'2 ! What's the question again ? What initiative? Dude i saw her and i panicked in my car. I also didn't want to seem desperate, that's the last thing i ever want somebody to think
Author Yeo786 Posted August 8, 2017 Author Posted August 8, 2017 Really? This movie was more important to you than to greet her so why would she act anything special toward you? You are 25 years old, I am sure you know where the button *pause* is on your movie player. Don't do that again, it's rude. Invite her out. Ask her out for a drink or a movie. How do i do this again after my failed fiasco of yesteday? Remember i tried texting her and all i can say is my wall gave me better conversation
bummer Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 I also didn't want to seem desperate, that's the last thing i ever want somebody to think Maybe a not-so-fine line between looking desperate and looking like a jerk. Keep dribbling! 1
Gaeta Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 What initiative? Dude i saw her and i panicked in my car. I also didn't want to seem desperate, that's the last thing i ever want somebody to think W H A T ? ? ? How is being POLITE now considered desperate ?? How do you want to get a girl if you don't want to show her she manners??
mikeylo Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 You played the 'not desperate ' game but turned out to be arrogant !
bummer Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 How do i do this again after my failed fiasco of yesteday? If you really think you got a shot, ask in person when you next see her for class. I'd ask your buddy for a gut-check first though.
mikeylo Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 How do i do this again after my failed fiasco of yesteday? Remember i tried texting her and all i can say is my wall gave me better conversation No texting. Go up and talk face to face.
Gaeta Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 How do i do this again after my failed fiasco of yesteday? Remember i tried texting her and all i can say is my wall gave me better conversation Breath in, ask her when she is free because you'd like to take her out for drinks ( or what ever else you guys do over there)
Author Yeo786 Posted August 8, 2017 Author Posted August 8, 2017 Breath in, ask her when she is free because you'd like to take her out for drinks ( or what ever else you guys do over there) Okay, on Friday just like last week ill go up to her and talk like normal and try this. Thank you so much. I just want her to know what a shy fool i am
Gaeta Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 Okay, on Friday just like last week ill go up to her and talk like normal and try this. Thank you so much. I just want her to know what a shy fool i am You could actually start with this... I am a shy fool so please forgive me if I don't do this properly, I would like to invite you out..............(In better English than mine :-))
ChatroomHero Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 I get the shyness part. OP wasn't trying to be rude, or arrogant, though probably came off that way. When you are shy like that, in your head you are usually trying not to do something embarrassing or stupid and freeze up. It's like buying time to think of something to say how to react, etc. If you are really shy and unexpectedly a hot girl came up and asked you, "Do you know the time?"... your mind goes blank...and then spins in overtime trying to come up with something witty or normal to say to make up for the now obvious silence which in turn makes you try to think of something to say to explain the now longer silence caused by your trying to think of something to say. It's a vicious circle. So you end up sitting there and saying nothing or saying something stupid. She walks away, thinks you are rude, weird, etc, and you try to understand how the hell you couldn't figure out to just respond, "4:30". That being said OP, the burden is on you to overcome it. Remember when you see her not every comment you make has to be fascinating or funny, not every conversation has to be stellar. Not every interaction has to mean something. If you find yourself being shy around her, just smile, say hello, answer questions directly...etc. Don't try to impress her with everything you say. It will help you be able to talk to her a little more naturally when you freeze up. I am also very anti-gift giving when you are on the hunt with a girl, but in this case maybe your next class you can buy a donut and coffee and get her one too, something like that? Say "hey, I stopped for a donut and coffee this morning, thought you might like one too". Don't expect anything in return, you just doing a nice gesture for her. If she declines, tell her ok, and give it to someone else there and don't think about it twice. I don't think what you did is a very big deal but it sounds like she got a whiff of you ignoring her which probably hurt her a bit. Not much you can do, explaining being shy won't help. Moving on and being friendly will. If she asks why you ignored her, all you need to say is, "I'm very sorry, that was rude of me. Please accept my apology". No reason to go into detail or make a big excuse or deny it, acknowledge that you know you ignored her and you are sorry. 1
umirano Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 It's not about seeming desperate. Reward her taking initiative! Anyway, that's water under the bridge. Now act quickly. Make eye contact and have a little chat with her. Explain you were a bit nervous and invite her for a coffee. Take it from there. Think about a few meaningful things to talk about, if you're really interested. Not class and campus. If you keep shirking away from her - and that can easily happen when she acts aloof now herself - she will think you're not interested. Good luck 1
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