spaceraider234 Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Basically my boyfriend (30) of 1.5 years split up with me 1 month ago, not the first time and it was for the same reasons - he felt I didn't care how he felt and I was argumentative etc - he spent a week at mine (we had an argument the night before he left and I cried and he was very cold) then a week later messaged me and said I cant do this anymore its making me miserable etc, said he still loved me but he had to do it for both of us. He then blocked me on all social media. We got on very well we liked the same things and had similar personalities and just got one another, we had a very loving and affectionate relationship and always made each other laugh, he always told me he loved me and always wanted to protect me, said I'm the best girlfriend hes ever had and will never find anyone like me again. but when we had our disagreements we could never see eye to eye. We haver broke up before and he always came back within a week maximum. This time it has been a month, when he ended it I told him I hated him and he messaged me saying I don't know why I'm telling you but I feel sad about us, wish we could just get on. I didn't reply, 2 weeks later I found out a girl he had been friends with since he was 18 was staying at his house, she had a boyfriend. I confronted him and he ignored the question and just said, I don't want you to think I'm being nasty, I made a descision and it wasn't to hurt you, its because we weren't what I wanted, I gave it too many chances, so there you go, I hope your ok. I then sent him a message telling him what I thought of him and then I wished him the best and I was indifferent to it all now. he said ok same I wish you the best. and that was that, . That was about 2 weeks ago. Since then his car has been by her house (she lives on the road I park on for work!) i dont think he has been home or been on his own since we split. I dont want to seem nasty but she is a hell of a big downgrade, she is not attractive and not his type at all, and he told me she cheats on all her boyfriends previously, and also said he never thought she was good looking (known her since he was 18). I haven't spoken to him since, then about 24 hours ago he text me saying '' Been thinking about you. Hope your good x'' I haven't replied. his car is now not there so it appears he has gone home. I don't know what to think or wether to reply, he has broke my heart and hurt me badly, I do miss and love him. Why do you think he sent this? I haven't responded and he hasn't sent anything else.
preraph Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 It's probably just all about sex. He would probably keep both of you if he thought you'd put up with it. Hence, the checking in and taking your temperature. Honestly, if you go along with ANY of this, the way he's behaving, and then take him back, you are just writing your own script for a miserable life. You need to block him so he can't yank your chain and not look at his social media. Nothing to be done about him taking up with someone right down the road, but you need to block him and make it clear this is NOT okay with you and then move on. Because he'll never change if any woman will put up with it. 1
Versacehottie Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 It's a check in to make sure you are still on back burner for him. Lots of guys (almost every?) do this. It's pretty rare that a break is clean and that there are no lingering positive feelings or wondering if you made the right decision (from both sides). I don't know what to tell you to do. It seems like you both need MORE time apart to mature and that maybe ultimately you are not right for each other anyway. I don't think you should mistake this text for a "let's get back together" text. Until he says exactly that, don't.
bummer Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Why do you think he sent this? I haven't responded and he hasn't sent anything else. Good on you to not respond. Don't. He sent it as feeler and breadcrumb of guilt. It's to let you know he's still thinking of you as you think of him. Nothing more. There is no action expressed, nothing else you can infer with certainty (other than he may not know your and you're). In fishing terms, he already hooked and cut your gills and strung you out to bleed. he's jiggling the line to make sure you're still his. In cooking terms, you're a little pot on the back burner he just stirred to make sure you're still simmering. Possibly because the 18yo downgrade said his toes stink.
mortensorchid Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Time to fish or cut bait with him, and he in a classic move wants to fish or he'll take the safe route and cut the bait. Sounds like he's cutting bait. Move on. I wish it wasn't like this for people but, it is, no matter how original you think you are or are not being. He's coming back because he feels guilty and cowardly.
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