caffefrappe Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Hello I just broke up with my partner after a year and a half together. At times i felt truly in love with her and feeling so good spending time with her, and other time less. 3 months ago, we were about to move in together and at the last minute - I back down saying that we should take our time and that I wasn’t questioning our relationship, even tho I did questioning my feelings. She was very upset and sad. I moved in in my new flat 2 months ago, and from then on we weren’t less and less close. About a month ago, we had couple of long discussions that she wanted to have a kids and a family, maybe move out of london. I clearly said that I wanted to have children but that wasn’t my priority at the moment. A week later I was going away to see my family and she could’t as she had to work. Before leaving she asked me to seriously think about us, that she didn’t want us to split up. When I got back 10 days later, she told me that she deeply cared about me, that she wished we were the one for each other, but that we were too different and we were missing something. While I was away I thought we could potentially move in together, and started to seriously consider kids. It’s been 2 weeks since we separated, I’ve been telling her about my intentions about moving in together and that I truly cared about her and wish we could talk to find a way to make it work. She replied on few occasion that even tho she deeply cared for me that was not enough, and we both deserved more than that. I feel im waking up a little late and she already clearly decided to move on.. she kept saying that she doesn’t want to loose me, and would like to stay friends. Do you think she may reconsider? Thanks in advance for your thoughts
Ana622 Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 From my experience and opinion, it's not right that you backed out of moving in then when she came in and said her decision, you changed your mind.. If you weren't ready to move in Together, why did you discuss this? Clearly taking this step forward into the relationship of moving in was important to her and you took that way when you started saying that kids weren't a priority and that you weren't sure about moving in. These were hopes that you gave her and you took that away. Yes it's not fair for the both of you but..... If the love is still there you guys can reconcile. You can say that you've changed. You want all the things with her and only her. She's disappointed and upset, but once the stormed as past and she kisses you she'll come back. Much luck to you
preraph Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 She's smart enough to know that even if you gave in now, you'd resent it later.
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Do you really want to move in with her now or are you just doing anything to keep her from breaking up with you? The timing of this change of heart on your part doesn't seem genuine. However, one of my grad school friends gave her then live-in BF an ultimatum: marry me or else. They got married & 25+ years later they are still together. So if you really want her back, duplicate a key to your place, buy a welcome mat & a huge bouquet of flowers. Go to her flat & give her all three with a request that she take you back & move in.
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