Alwaysthinkofme Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 (edited) I always get there will be pretty girls but, I'm not sure why my bf can't control himself in public. He is constantly checking out woman and it can get pretty bad when going to the mall. He looks online at pictures of his female friends and asks me if they are attractive. He will make comments like "She is too hot or good looking for him." If her bf looks a little nerdy or something. Says "that's why Utah chicks will be with someone unnatractive given they want someone who is Morman. When I say "Why didn't you just find someone when you lived in Utah then?" He says that being Morman you'd have to be a good guy like not watch porn (This I don't care about) drinking coffee and other things that would be hard to compromise. He mentions how hot Utah chicks are and asks if we would like to travel there. I mentioned wanting to go to Japan and he said he'd like to travel there to look at porn magazines and the porn culture. (This ruins me wanting to travel and experience new locations with him.) He says all guys look and that its like a BMW, you will still check out an Audi. Idk..I just feel like he has a certain image or taste for another woman always. He says its me and has to do with lack of confidence.. I now am always scared he is looking for the next best thing. Its also annoying when we are eating and he eyeballs woman that walk down the aisle, double glancing, turning his head and looking up at them, its pretty embarrassing. Advice and opinions? Edited August 7, 2017 by Alwaysthinkofme
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I have small breasts My EX loved porn pictures of women with boobs the size of basketballs. It made me insecure but he didn't rub my face in it. I knew the porn was there but he wasn't always looking or acting like he was on the prowl. Yes man look but there are ways to do so discretely which are far more respectful to their partners. Your BF is kind of mean about the whole thing. You are not insecure. His behavior is crude. Personally I wouldn't put up with it & would break things off to date a more respectful gentleman. 6
Gaeta Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I'd get rid of this pervy little twit that don't know how to be a boyfriend. It's one thing for a man to look at pretty women and it's a whole different thing to be rubbing it in his girlfriend's face. The only self-security you need is the one required to dump him. 11
CptInsano Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Yes, your bf's behavior is disrespectful. Why do you let him get away with it? 3
Gaeta Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I am reading your history and this guy sees you ONCE every 2 weeks! That he's too busy with work AND he is hiding his friends on FB. Now THIS! C'mon! That's not a boyfriend. 10
Els Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 OP, your bf has consistently shown himself to be quite the *******. Why are you still with him? 2
Author Alwaysthinkofme Posted August 7, 2017 Author Posted August 7, 2017 I don't try to let him get away with it and have made a big deal about his looking. He has been trying to get better and at times I do notice the effort. What gets me though is ruining our travel plans, making comments about friends being pretty and how this one girl was too attractive for her bf who wasn't appealing. Making comments about hot Utah chicks, it just makes me feel so shirty. Like I'm not what he is looking for, even though he swears I am..
Gaeta Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I don't try to let him get away with it and have made a big deal about his looking. He has been trying to get better and at times I do notice the effort. What gets me though is ruining our travel plans, making comments about friends being pretty and how this one girl was too attractive for her bf who wasn't appealing. Making comments about hot Utah chicks, it just makes me feel so shirty. Like I'm not what he is looking for, even though he swears I am.. Dating a man is not about finding a man and trying to make him better, it's about finding someone who makes you feel special from the start. It's not happening here on any level of this relationship. You will not change this ill-mannered toad into a prince. 11
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I always get there will be pretty girls but, I'm not sure why my bf can't control himself in public. He is constantly checking out woman and it can get pretty bad when going to the mall. He looks online at pictures of his female friends and asks me if they are attractive. He will make comments like "She is too hot or good looking for him." If her bf looks a little nerdy or something. Says "that's why Utah chicks will be with someone unnatractive given they want someone who is Morman. When I say "Why didn't you just find someone when you lived in Utah then?" He says that being Morman you'd have to be a good guy like not watch porn (This I don't care about) drinking coffee and other things that would be hard to compromise. He mentions how hot Utah chicks are and asks if we would like to travel there. I mentioned wanting to go to Japan and he said he'd like to travel there to look at porn magazines and the porn culture. (This ruins me wanting to travel and experience new locations with him.) He says all guys look and that its like a BMW, you will still check out an Audi. Idk..I just feel like he has a certain image or taste for another woman always. He says its me and has to do with lack of confidence.. I now am always scared he is looking for the next best thing. Its also annoying when we are eating and he eyeballs woman that walk down the aisle, double glancing, turning his head and looking up at them, its pretty embarrassing. Advice and opinions? I live in Utah and there are plenty of attractive girls who are not Mormon. I try not to date anyone from the LDS, but not entirely closed to the idea, but not interested in being a member. Anyway, your bf sounds like a big time douche!
MountainGirl111 Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Your BF sounds like a jerk. Next time he pulls something like that just tell him, "Have at her." And leave. If it didn't bother you that's one thing. But, it clearly bothers you and he knows it and is not being very nice about it. This guy has the sensitivity of a cactus. 1
Miss Spider Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Alwaysthinkingofme, this is not the only time your bf has been a douche. Staying with this guy is asking for trouble 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 This boyfriend of yours is extremely immature and disrespectful. Why are you lowering your standards like this, OP?
Lorenza Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 What an immature little prick! That's not how a man acts. Comments like that will make most of us miserable. Get yourself a respectful man and you'll find out what a difference that is, when he makes you feel beautiful and special. 1
mikeylo Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 This is a behavior that is with him for a long time. Unless he recognizes it himself, he won't change. Calling out on him is going to result in him being very defensive. Only do it if you are ready to lose him, as your self respect is higher than love. Even that may not be enough. You need to handle this in a tactical manner if you want to continue. It's too much time and effort on both yours and his side. Do you have the courage and patience? Does he have an ego ? 1
preraph Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Your boyfriend is a pervy little twit who is being very disrespectful to you and you have some boundary issues yourself if you are putting up with even part of this. This is not a good guy. He's a gross perv with no respect for women at all. 3
Versacehottie Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I thought I was going to open your thread to find a post from a girl who was being too sensitive and jealous and unreasonable. You are so not out of line being uncomfortable with this. Your bf is embarrassing and crude. Dump him and find another guy. Sure guys look at other women all the time; there is a huge difference between putting up with an innocent glance or whatever and having inane conversations with this idiot every day. Not to mention defending something stupid he does or says in public--cause that probably will happen too. You can do better. It's not about trying to be whatever he wants. He will still be crude and objectifying and disrespectful--that will remain the same, no matter who or what his gf looks like. Please move on & good luck 2
kendahke Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I always get there will be pretty girls but, I'm not sure why my bf can't control himself in public. He is constantly checking out woman and it can get pretty bad when going to the mall. He looks online at pictures of his female friends and asks me if they are attractive. He will make comments like "She is too hot or good looking for him." If her bf looks a little nerdy or something. Says "that's why Utah chicks will be with someone unnatractive given they want someone who is Morman. When I say "Why didn't you just find someone when you lived in Utah then?" He says that being Morman you'd have to be a good guy like not watch porn (This I don't care about) drinking coffee and other things that would be hard to compromise. He mentions how hot Utah chicks are and asks if we would like to travel there. I mentioned wanting to go to Japan and he said he'd like to travel there to look at porn magazines and the porn culture. (This ruins me wanting to travel and experience new locations with him.) He says all guys look and that its like a BMW, you will still check out an Audi. Idk..I just feel like he has a certain image or taste for another woman always. He says its me and has to do with lack of confidence.. I now am always scared he is looking for the next best thing. Its also annoying when we are eating and he eyeballs woman that walk down the aisle, double glancing, turning his head and looking up at them, its pretty embarrassing. Advice and opinions? He's not mature enough to be in a relationship. Love ain't enough to stay with this kind of disregard for your esteem, so why stay with him? Ship him off to Utah since he likes those kinds of girls. 2
kendahke Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Your BF sounds like a jerk. Next time he pulls something like that just tell him, "Have at her." And leave. exactly. OP, make sure you've got Uber on your cell phone and the next time this happens, get out your phone, call your Uber, excuse yourself to the bathroom and leave him there. If you drove, then get up to use the bathroom and then leave. He's not taking you seriously when you tell him to stop, so harsher consequences need to be applied.
guest569 Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I would have broken up with him long ago. Why put up with this garbage??
Usename12 Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 BRB, I'm going to book a trip to Utah to see if this is true. In all seriousness, most guys look at hot women especially in Summer so that's not the big problem. It's the fact that he is flaunting it without regard to you. He probably feels too comfortable with you to even try to be respectful and discrete. Diarrhea of the mouth, no filter. He is treating you like a buddy, not a lover. And you're losing respect for him whether you are consciously aware of it or not.
basil67 Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 He will make comments like "She is too hot or good looking for him." If her bf looks a little nerdy or something. Says "that's why Utah chicks will be with someone unnatractive given they want someone who is Morman. We know from your previous posts that he's horrible to you. Now we find out that he's also horrible about others. This guy really doesn't have much going for him. 2
mrs rubble Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 I agree with everyone else, he's horrible and you deserve better. I had an ex that used to perve on women and make stupid comments, I used to be upset by it too. When I started making remarks about the Rugby players on TV and how muscular and handsome they were, his comments about other women stopped- but then I stooped to his level. It was an awful relationship anyway and didn't last. I would get out now before things get worse. 1
smackie9 Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 My advice.....find a new BF. Guys like him who are so obsessed with looking at women are more likely to cheat. He treats women like objects, and has no respect for you with this kind of behavior. I get it guys like to look, but when it becomes a thing with them, there's issues there.
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