Too emotional for her? Share your thoughts!

[Ryan M]

Here is my story:

I had been with my girlfriend for about 5 months now, 2 and half of which have been from a distance since she had to go to the US to work for the summer. Everything was fine until 2 weeks ago when she decided to stop texting me and eventually broke up with me 2 days ago. The reason for that was because she is the type of girl that doesn't want all the attention in the world, the type that is not that romantic, the type that hates flowers and doesn't like gifts so much. She likes her time alone sometimes. While we were separated and she was and still is in the US, I thought that the best way of keeping our relationship from dying is if I am as active as possible and as interested in her as possible. I am the emotional type of guy and always try to make sure I show my love to my partner. Apparently from what she said when we broke up she meant exactly that. She is working 13 hours a day all week and me wanting to hear her as soon as she gets off work just made her have no private time and I think she just accepted our conversations for something that she has to do not something that she wants to do, after about a month in the US. She simply said I put too much emotion on everything and that she can't handle it and she is not that type of person. She told me something that I could notice before she even left for the US. She was trying to become the person I want her to be in order for our relationship to last. She tried to be more emotional, to show me as much love as possible, she became the person she is not and she said she did that because she really wanted for the first time in her life for her relationship to last. She basically turned into another person so I could be happy with hearing her all the time and not being angry when she just wants some time for herself. Now she still has 3 weeks until she comes back and I am thinking what I could do and if there is anything I can say to make her believe that I can make things work. She told me she didn't want to change me as a person just so we could be in a relationship. For her, this is not the idea of a healthy relationship. Feel free to give any advice you think could be useful for my situation.

 

Thank you in advance,

Ryan M.

[d0nnivain]

Your fledging relationship simply didn't have the foundation to grow across the distance.

 

The fact that she thought she had to change to be the person you wanted her to be, tells me this was doomed long before the break up ever happened.

 

Let her be. Go find a nice girl who will enjoy the attention you want to lavish upon her. Stop trying to force your EX to accept things she doesn't want.

[Chilli]

Damn, she sounds perfect to me, zero maintenance , you were a lucky man

 

But yeah , sorry though man but l think you hit the nail on the head, your nature would drive her mad , just two different types of people.

[ExpatInItaly]

I think she is right: you two are not compatible.

[preraph]

Not compatible. She found the amount of attention smothering and probably felt it wasn't warranted so it probably just seemed like desperation to her.

 

Never give more in a romantic relationship than is being reciprocated. Unbalanced relationships don't survive anyway. Or if they do, they're miserable.