Angel29 Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I am in my 30s and my love interest is in his 40s but we are just friends. I haven't seen him in a long time and have seen recently that his health is bad. He struggles to walk, has asthma and drinks. He randomly said to me he would not be able to afford to have a family on his wage. Is this his way of saying he won't have children? I like him and I know he likes me but I don't know if I can be with someone who doesn't want a family and is unwell. I feel like I should have taken the chance years ago when the opportunity was there with him. Should I see what happens or walk away?
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 There is nothing here for you to walk away from. You haven't seen him in so long you have no personal knowledge about his current state of health. He does not sound like a good prospect: underemployed, ill health, not particularly interested in you & doesn't share you values / life goals. There isn't much here except you have a crush on him. 4
Gaeta Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I am in my 30s and my love interest is in his 40s but we are just friends. I haven't seen him in a long time and have seen recently that his health is bad. He struggles to walk, has asthma and drinks. He randomly said to me he would not be able to afford to have a family on his wage. Is this his way of saying he won't have children? I like him and I know he likes me but I don't know if I can be with someone who doesn't want a family and is unwell. I feel like I should have taken the chance years ago when the opportunity was there with him. Should I see what happens or walk away? What is there to like he is a drunk, I bet he smokes with his asthma. What kind of future this man would bring? you'd end up being his nurse. What kind of father and role model would he be for children. It's none sense. You should walk away, don't even look in his direction, plenty of other men to date.
Chilli Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Well , aside from the rest a family is very important to you but yeah , he was saying he couldn't have one. He was considering his health too in the back of his mind and knows he has enough on his plate. Some people just have bad health. My ex w was 11yrs younger than me but the poor thing was always sick, still is.
rightondude Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 LOL geez if this dude can have a woman pining after him there's hope for us all! Unless she's talking about Keith Richards? He's a little older than 40 though...
Novz Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Him being honest about everything is good for you. Keep nothing else but friendship with him.
smackie9 Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 He's telling you loud and clear to stay clear of him, and that friendship is all you will be getting out of this. Give your head a shake, you can do better than this. Think with your head not with your desires. And what is with this what if you got him earlier? Now you would have been stuck with little ones and an uncertain financial future with having to take care of him, your children, with medical bills piling up.
kazen Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I like his honesty. He is letting you know the situation. I don't think he is a loser. Some people have the unfortunate case of having bad genes which leads to having health problems and that limits their employment opportunities. He told you this so you don't waste your good years away going after someone who can't provide what you ultimately want, a family.
Gaeta Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I like his honesty. He is letting you know the situation. I don't think he is a loser. Some people have the unfortunate case of having bad genes which leads to having health problems and that limits their employment opportunities. He told you this so you don't waste your good years away going after someone who can't provide what you ultimately want, a family. When you have a week immune system and get sick often you don't DRINK to make it worse. I know plenty of people with chronic disease who have a full life and are productive citizen. My bf has asthma and it's not an excuse, he's out to work almost 75 hours a week.
kazen Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 When you have a week immune system and get sick often you don't DRINK to make it worse. I know plenty of people with chronic disease who have a full life and are productive citizen. My bf has asthma and it's not an excuse, he's out to work almost 75 hours a week. Drinking is his way of coping. I don't think asthma is his only problem. He has other health issues. He accepted his fate and doesn't want to lead her on. That is respectable. She should find a more suitable mate.
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