richieb Posted August 6, 2017 Posted August 6, 2017 (edited) Its been 3 months now and she will not come pick up her stuff. 13 years married, last time I had talked to her a few weeks ago (practicing NC) she said well this is mine, that is mine blah blah. So i said, if they are yours, fine come get them . I got, tomorrow, didnt show up, happened numerous times, but will just show up in the driveway and txt, i am here need to pick up stuff, then she picks up a few clothes and leaves. I said, dont you want to be free and clear so we can move on with our live? yes I do, then come get your stuff. We have boxes and boxes of pictures, some us, some family all her family pictures are here, she was going through them years ago and here they sit. When she left, she took some clothes, some of her daughters clothes, then came back a week later and took her daughters bedroom set i am fine with all that. We had a truck the we were purchasing, and she stopped making the payments. So I said, before they come and repo the truck,come get your stuff. 3 weeks later, still didnt come and pick it up. Walked outside 2 days later and truck is in driveway, next day they came and took it. I was like seriously. I am almost to the point of assuming she does not want "her stuff any longer". Her and her daughter are living with a friend from work, and when I see her daughter she complains, there is no food there. I said, well you can come here anytime you want for dinner just let me know.Just getting stuff off my chest. At the rate she is going, she will not be able to rent a place for a long time. Beginning to think I am just a storage locker. LOl when she moved out, got new phone account and bank, and all her mail still comes here? why signup for new things and use your old address? mind blowing..... Edited August 7, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Pirandello Posted August 6, 2017 Posted August 6, 2017 my ex is doing the same thing, she told one of my family members she will call me and come pick up her stuff, but has not called... It's like she is afraid of confronting me, might be guilt, might be something else. give it time, time heals and eventually the truth comes out...
Author richieb Posted August 6, 2017 Author Posted August 6, 2017 just found out today , the new bank account she opened she over-drafted it and they closed it. Explains the western union mail I recieved for a card you can put your paycheck on.
PegNosePete Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Beginning to think I am just a storage locker. That is exactly what you are. And since you keep allowing her to come and go with a few items, you're allowing her to use you as a storage locker. First, box up ALL her stuff. Put it all together, in the garage or something. Tell her you have all her stuff boxed up and there are X boxes, and she needs to come collect it this week. Give her 3 days/times to choose from. Tell her that if she doesn't choose one and come collect her stuff, you will assume she no longer wants it and you will dispose of it. why signup for new things and use your old address? mind blowing..... Just return all mail to sender "recipient unknown at this address".
Maldives Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 My ex wife did the same thing she just didn't have anywhere to store stuff so she dumped it all wth me to deal wth
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 If finances are that dire -- no food, closed bank account -- she probably has no place to put the stuff. You need to box it all up carefully & put it in a safe place out of your way. Do not destroy it or get rid of it absent a court order from he divorce judge. I'm serious. 1
PegNosePete Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 Do not destroy it or get rid of it absent a court order from he divorce judge. I'm serious. Yes, I should have pointed out in my post above that you shouldn't actually throw her stuff out. You should just tell her that you're going to dispose of her stuff. If you say it confidently and give a definite timescale, you might find she suddenly gets her butt in gear. If she really believes you're going to throw it away then she will find a way to save it. Whereas at the moment she has no motivation, you're her free storage locker so why would she bother giving that up? 1
Author richieb Posted August 7, 2017 Author Posted August 7, 2017 well this is the third time she has left. I know, stupid me for letting her back, but things are good for about four years, then she takes off again. This time not letting her back, just want to be rid of her.
Author richieb Posted August 10, 2017 Author Posted August 10, 2017 Therapist said her way of keeping the door open. But really didn't say what to do about. Asked if i would let her back. I told her the truth, it would be hard , very hard to say NO since I still love her, but know its not a good thing for either of us. She described her as TOXIC.
preraph Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Give her a date by which she either needs to get her stuff or you're changing the locks and getting this off your plate.
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