lvgrly Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 What do you people think about dating more than one person at once, you know..Just playing the field to see whats out there.. As long as you are open with all of the people you are dating that you are seeing other people, do you agree with it? Would you want to be that persons 3rd or 4th date that week knowing he/she is going out with someone else tomorrow night?? Just seeing others thoughts on this topic..
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 disagree.. 1 at a time only There is an artist here at the studio here that used to date 3 woman at the same time.. He gave each one a different phone line number to call him at work that way he would know which girl was calling by the line number..
Marshbear32 Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 The more the merrier. I have no problem unless I fall for her.
Author lvgrly Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall disagree.. 1 at a time only There is an artist here at the studio here that used to date 3 woman at the same time.. He gave each one a different phone line number to call him at work that way he would know which girl was calling by the line number.. thats pretty sad...in a pathetic way
TUDOR Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 So long as your honest about it with all involved then I see no harm in it. Now sleeping with multiple people is certainly a must know thing for all involved unless of course its a 3some and they already know! Have fun and play the field just make sure no one gets hurt by letting them know what your intentions are.
Spartan 117 Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 disagree as well, I can't determine if I like someone until I've really gotten to know them, so having several would just be two overwhelming, I need to focus one at a time.
kitkat826 Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as you're not lying. In fact, I reccommend it to a lot of people. It can help you from becoming to carried away in one person too soon, helping you sort out your priorities. If one ends up really catching your interest, than stay just with them. I think a lot of females especially can tend to put all their eggs in one basket when they meet someone, and end up getting really crushed when it doesnt work out. I don't see this happening as much with men, who in general have less qualms about taking things slow and dating around.
amerikajin Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 It's definitely fair - and even wise - to keep other prospects on the side, but as far as actually dating two or three at a time? Mmmm...I'm starting to lose confidence in this method of dating. I do agree that it's okay as long as you're not making a commitment to any one person, so in that sense it's "fair", but I don't know...having done it myself a lot lately, I think it can only add to whatever sense of confusion a person already feels. I've noticed that when I date several people at the same time, I tend to not take any one of them very seriously, and sometimes I end up getting bored or uninspired because I know that there's always someone to fall back on. Maybe it's best just to keep an eye on someone, but only date one. That way, you get a chance to build a connection, to really see the value of the person you're spending time with and to judge them on better terms. I think people date multiple prospects because they're either being selfish and want to play around, or they've been hurt real badly and do this as a means of protecting their ego and pride. It's a way to say, 'Well, if this b!tch screws me over, I'll just go hustle this other b!tch.' I don't know if I buy the argument of its necessity; I think that if you want to find someone worthwhile you just develop a relationship with them over time and see where it goes.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Few weeks ago I had a date with someone I had never gone out with before.. At dinner she asked me about dating more than one person at a time and I told her my feelings about it.. That I only date one at a time.. She said to me.. "Gosh.. you are going to think really bad of me then " I sometimes have 2 dates in one day.. One at lunch and one at dinner.." There wasn't a second date
country gal Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 i was just thinking about this very same topic last night. the reason for that is because i've always found it impossible for me to split myself between two people, even if it is just a dating situation .... but i'm in a really confused position right now where i find myself wanting to be single thus keeping my options open but at teh same time wanting my ex back (feelings mutual) ... and even though i'm not ready for him yet (just broke off a relationship) i feel like my emotions are already committed to him which then doesnt allow me to keep my options open. i think i just need to be single straight up for now until i get my head on straight. back to the original question .... 1 at a time!
mental_traveller Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 On a first date you are just assessing someone. I have no problem meeting someone for a first date, knowing that they are meeting other people for first dates too. But once you get to a second date, that implies some kind of interest from the person towards you, and vice versa. If someone wants to see me again, I assume that's because they are at least a bit keen and there is some attraction & personality match. But if they are simultaneously seeing someone else for a 2nd time (or 3rd, 4th etc), then clearly they can't be all *that* interested! So I'd stop right there and not waste my time with them. Some people will multiple date and hide it. So always tell your date that you are cool with them dating around until they are sure who to go for, that way they are much more likely to admit if they are dating other people. You can then drop them and move on.
Cecelius Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Define "dating" -- maintaining an emotionally strong physical relationship with two or more people? Or you go out with Ted a couple times, Bob asks you out somewhere in there, Ted's got no reason to assume your his g/f, etc. I sort of assume the latter is what everyone does. It is not sensible to go straight into mini-marriage with someone after coffee for the first time.
Opium Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Dating can be a tricky game and if you don't play your cards right you can end up alone or hurt in the long run. I usually like to date on person at a time. It's hard to keep up with all the calls and 'when can I see you' questions. Dating multiple people but NOT sleeping with them is ok. You're not in a committed relationship so you shouldn't have an rules on who you can date and when. Now if you are becoming closer to one particular person and you decide to sleep with them, right then and their I would make the choice of just being with that person. Now-a-days you need to be careful with STD's and for a woman, getting pregnant. If you just have casual sex with someone but no strings attached, meaning no commitment than so be it. Just the thought of sleeping with more than one person at a time can be overwhelming and confusing. Being single can be a lot of fun, that's what it's all about, dating different types of people and it can be a great experience to learn about what you like and don't like in a person. But I just say play it safe! If you are casually dating but not sleeping with anyone no harm is done, once you sleep with someone that's where I would draw the line.
Teag Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 I disagree, I think people should only date one person at a time, but thats my opinion. One of my friends is datng 3 girls right not...well screwing, can't really call them dating since he never takes them anywhere just hangs out w/ them. They al know about one another & I guess they are ok with it or else just isn't saying anything. I don't understand it & don't agree w/ it. So I guess if it works for you whatever.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 I don't see anything wrong with going out on say 3 dates in one week with 3 different people, and then go out with one of them again the next week, and a couple days later back with another one. But there are limitations such as not getting naked with all three....they are just dates....spending time with a member of the opposite sex doing something you both enjoy, getting to know more about each other (ie. lunch, dinner, a movie, the zoo) As soon as it gets more physical and as soon as any one of the parties presumes it to be exclusive, then "I" would have to have a talk about maybe NOT being exclusive and let that person decide if they want to see me again. I don't see any reason why you have to tell this person "Yes I'll go on a date with you BUT you need to know I have ten other guys calling me up for dates". That info is on a need to know basis, and they only need to know if they are presuming they are the only one.....yeah sometimes it can be hard to pick up on that. I'm not saying I follow this rule, because I have been seeing alot of Guy #2, and Guy #1 is still calling me to get together. I have been "physical" (no sex) with #2 but would still like to see #1 as a friend. It is HARD though!!! I think it's my way of telling myself I'm not really ready for anything serious or exclusive.....and the talk with Guy#2 is just around the corner cuz I'm thinking he's thinking I'm not seeing anyone else....which I'm not, but I might....but why tell him? We've only been together/dated 4 times in two weeks, so it is still very new. And yes, for the record, he'd probably dump my a$$ if he knew I went out with guy #1 which is why guy#1 is simply friend status at this time. If he becomes more than a friend, then guy#2 has every right to kick me to the curb because I obviously will have made my decision.....oh guy #1 knows about guy #2 already too.
loony Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 I'm very very choosy and picky and I usually would say that I prefer to only see and concentrate on one person. A while ago I had to ask myself though what I would do if I met two people at the same time who both seemed to be interesting, what would I do then? It has actually never happened that two or more people that I found interesting have asked me at the same time. Usually it's -- first come, first served. I also think I tend to develop crushes too quickly so even if I had gone on dates with several people, I'd probably drop them all very soon except for the guy who interests me the most. And if nobody really interests me I might hang out with them for a while till I'm getting bored.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by loony Usually it's -- first come, first served. Isn't supposed to be first served first come ?
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by loony ... I had to ask myself though what I would do if I met two people at the same time who both seemed to be interesting, what would I do then? It has actually never happened that two or more people that I found interesting have asked me at the same time. This is my dilemma. If we're only supposed to date one of them, what do you say to the other one? Then if it doesn't work out with the first one, how do you get the interest back from the other one? I would prefer an initial meeting/date with both of them just to be sure and maybe one date isn't enough to make a decision.
JS17 Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 I think it's ok to date multiple people at once but up to a certain point. Once you've had a few dates with someone I believe you should know whether that person has enough potential or not to focus on them. Personally, I rarely date multiple people at once although some of my friends think that I should. I don't think physical intimacy should occur until exclusivity exists. One of my ex's lied about this (not even the one that cheated on me) and I think that is inappropriate. As long as you're being honest about what you're doing, it's up to the other individual to decide if it will work for them.
Nomad Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Huh, what about guys who can't even get 1 date?? It's funny listening to these "problems" of people who have too many girls/guys to go out with them. If I were in the position, I would just be honest with whomever I was out with. If you're looking to get serious, it's probably implied that you're not seeing anyone else. If you're just out to have some fun & meet people, your date should know that as well, & it would be ok to be seeing other people. It's that simple. Honesty avoids hurt feelings (in the long run).
Author lvgrly Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 heh..I dont think its people who really are doing this..It was/is just a matter of opinion.
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