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mortensorchid

By mortensorchid
in Dating

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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted

Heck, I've known some boss-ass women who would bury another woman for posting on their man's social media in a flirtatious manner, the way you did...Then, they'd go after the guy...:eek::laugh:

 

Did that thought ever cross your mind, OP??

 

 

TFY

  • Like 1
Usename12 Member

Usename12

Posted
Posted

This underscores the discussion that men and women can't really be friends, not in the same honest way guys and guys and women and women are friends, assuming they are straight. If there is any hint of sexual tension, it gets blown up, misconstrued, etc. If I did post on social media, I would never post publicly how sexy, pretty, or nice a woman looks. Period. No matter how innocent or a joke it seems. I could post how much of a stud my buddies look and everyone would laugh and not bat an eye. Take it as a lesson learned OP and move on.

  • Like 3
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted
I suppose you are right. I wish that he would have explained to her that he and I were not bf/gf we were just friends, but apparently he did not. Facebook takes us back to high school doesn't it?

 

I really like you mortensorchid but i feel like maybe you are not getting that you crossed a boundary & it kinda makes me wonder if you are going to do something similar in the future. I know you said you would chalk it up to move on & then you explained the quote came from Austin Powers. I don't think you see that you did anything wrong. It obviously wasn't horrible but it's been kinda common sense that it something most that replied said you just don't do. It does cause problems in relationships. What would have been wrong sending him a message privately to tell him the same thing? I also don't know if you are really being honest with yourself about the timing of your two recent attempts to contact him/get his attention. Seems like it came right on the heels of him publicly going official about the new girlfriend, right?

 

And maybe it's just a coincidence but you are posting this in the dating section, rather than friends or whatever section would be correct. Are you sure you don't have feelings for him somewhat? And are you really "friends" or people who dated, added each other and remained added even though there is little to no friendship to speak of? Idk, maybe you really aren't too bothered or maybe it hurts but you are interpreting it poorly.

 

Anyway, with the bolded about FB being like high school--yeah it is and that is not just the two of them, this is a three person high school drama, which you are part of & dare i say the catalyst? If you recognized that part of it, I would think you "get" it. I'm not saying this to beat you down--as I said I really like you--just wondering if some of the things that happen to us in life can be lessons that help us for the things we really want. Like I think you have said before that you are lonely and want a bf but have trouble connecting. If you can use the feedback from this situation to work on how to connect with people and where it goes wrong, I'm pretty sure it would benefit you in the area where you want something the most--a bf for you. Really hoping that you do meet the guy of your dreams very soon :)

  • Like 9
GemmaUK Established Member

GemmaUK

Posted
Posted
no harm no foul.

 

For you maybe but not necessarily for them.

 

I've never seen Austin Powers so the line would not make me think of that at all.

 

FB is like a playground and can cause all kinds of issues when someone posts something dodgy.

I'm very careful who I add to FB, who I keep on there and what I say.

 

A post on there can upset the recipient but also anyone else seeing if can jump on the bandwagon.

 

As Versace said you were the catalyst in this but until you realise that I also think it'll be something you do again.

  • Like 3
TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

Posted
Posted
Two years ago I met a guy online through Tinder. We met, I realized rather quickly that he was just going to be a friend not a lover and I was okay with that. We went out on outings a few times here and there, chatted online, etc. Then, one day just recently he got a girlfriend. I have never met this girlfriend, I have no idea if he even mentioned me to her in conversations, but we had a few pictures of us taken together which I shared when we were on a county fair outing last summer. They were not lover's embrace pictures (save for one questionable but that was a semi-silly one) but I bowed out once he got a new girlfriend. I am not and never was, after all, his girlfriend and he was by all means free to look for one and be with other women. He even told me he has other women friends predominantly, and I never questioned it.

 

I send him an IM recently and said we should go out this summer since I haven't seen him in forever, he said he was having a good time with his gf and I was happy for him. Then he posted a photo of him getting a new tattoo of a tiger on his chest (he has many all over his body) and I posted "You're a tiger, baby!" on the photo. That was a few days ago, and I was unfriended.

 

I'm sad. Did that offend someone? Did the gf hate me over this? I don't expect anyone to know the answers to these things, I can only determine a few things: He was not a good person to be friends with to begin with, she may be jealous, etc. But I'm sad.

 

May I ask why you wrote him? Was there a long period of time in which you did not write him? How good of friends were you? Off hand, it sounds like you were fishing and perhaps a bit insecure about how things turned out.

 

My guess is the GF did not even see it, but he wondered why you were contacting him out of the blue, ask to hang out, and then once he clearly states he has a girlfriend (round about way of politely saying he is not going to hang out with you, since he is now in a relationship), you write a flirty comment on his post. Since you don't take the hint, and he doesn't consider you a friend, just a girl he went out with once or twice, rather than trying to discuss with you, instead said "meh not worth it" and unfriended.

 

Sorry, as I know that can be hurtful when you find out you're removed. If you run into him in real life, you can perhaps ask to explain yourself. Otherwise, I would not try to contact him anymore.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted
I suppose you are right. I wish that he would have explained to her that he and I were not bf/gf we were just friends, but apparently he did not. Facebook takes us back to high school doesn't it?

That doesn't matter....there is this thing call boundaries when someone has a SO.....you over stepped or should I say stepped in it.

 

I don't think it was so much an issue with his GF but other people asking who this girl is that posted such a comment, and is everything ok with him and his GF. That is the reaction he was avoiding.

guest569 Established Member

guest569

Posted
Posted

This was completely inappropriate. I am curious though. Why did you reach out to him and make that comment? How platonic was this relationship? Be honest with yourself. Is there insecurity, jealousy, regret? Or were you trying to "mark" him? From other threads you seem unhappily single. Maybe sad to see others pair off.

 

His girlfriend may or may not have seen it. But someone would have. What can he say "just some woman I met on tinder". Not dodgy at all. Why do you think this is ok to mess with his brand new relationship??

 

Well done to him for choosing his relationship.

  • Like 2
hercules22 Established Member

hercules22

Posted
Posted

social media is one of the biggest problems to people in relationships as it can cause issues that was his best option to unfriend you for doing that

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