Green_Eren Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 So 2 weeks ago I took a road trip with some friends to a big party school to celebrate a friends birthday. We ended up at a pregame party where I met a really cute girl, we hit it off right away and talked a lot. After the party we all came back to her place, long story short, everyone left except me and me and her ended up having sex like at 5am. It seemed like just a one night stand until we started talking alot right afterwards, we were being very very intimate with one another. (cuddling, holding hands, slow kissing and laughing and playing) she told me how smart and good looking she thought I was and I told her the same and she even made me pinky promise to let her visit me New York (I'm moving there for school) The time came for me to leave (Had to hit the road, I live 6 hours away) and she did NOT want me to go, kissed me a ton. I said screw it and told her I liked her, she said it back. She texted first that first night and we started texting, it was going great until she started taking a while to reply, and I mean an entire day each time but she was still replying with alot and kept the convo going. I figured she was busy (She studies ALOT and works ALOT). Then another friend invited me to visit him North Carolina, the city where she lives is on the way and she told me how much she loved travelling so I asked her if she wanted to get picked up on the way and see a few states with me. her exact response: "Omg, that actually sounds amazing! I would love that, when do you think you're going? I told her the dates i had in mind and then she left it on read for 3 days.. no reply. I happened to be in NYC going to my new school orientation, I was bummed out that she wasn't replying cause I actually really liked her. So I said screw it, and sent her a small vid of the statue of liberty and said "Look what I found!" I was trying to spark a new convo with something cool lol. Anyways she left that on READ also for 3 days. So at this point I was confused but took the message loud and clear, so I accepted it and decided to forget about it. But later that same night when I decided to give up on it, she sends me a friend request on facebook, ZERO MUTAL FRIENDS. She had to have looked me up, I was sooo confused. Can't reply to my message but you can add me on Facebook? So thats where I am now, confused as hell. Does she want to ignore me or talk to me? whats going on? What should I do?
Author Green_Eren Posted August 5, 2017 Author Posted August 5, 2017 So 2 weeks ago I took a road trip with some friends to a big party school to celebrate a friends birthday. We ended up at a pregame party where I met a really cute girl, we hit it off right away and talked a lot. After the party we all came back to her place, long story short, everyone left except me and me and her ended up having sex like at 5am. It seemed like just a one night stand until we started talking alot right afterwards, we were being very very intimate with one another. (cuddling, holding hands, slow kissing and laughing and playing) she told me how smart and good looking she thought I was and I told her the same and she even made me pinky promise to let her visit me New York (I'm moving there for school) The time came for me to leave (Had to hit the road, I live 6 hours away) and she did NOT want me to go, kissed me a ton. I said screw it and told her I liked her, she said it back. She texted first that first night and we started texting, it was going great until she started taking a while to reply, and I mean an entire day each time but she was still replying with alot and kept the convo going. I figured she was busy (She studies ALOT and works ALOT). Then another friend invited me to visit him North Carolina, the city where she lives is on the way and she told me how much she loved travelling so I asked her if she wanted to get picked up on the way and see a few states with me. her exact response: "Omg, that actually sounds amazing! I would love that, when do you think you're going? I told her the dates i had in mind and then she left it on read for 3 days.. no reply. I happened to be in NYC going to my new school orientation, I was bummed out that she wasn't replying cause I actually really liked her. So I said screw it, and sent her a small vid of the statue of liberty and said "Look what I found!" I was trying to spark a new convo with something cool lol. Anyways she left that on READ also for 3 days. So at this point I was confused but took the message loud and clear, so I accepted it and decided to forget about it. But later that same night when I decided to give up on it, she sends me a friend request on facebook, ZERO MUTAL FRIENDS. She had to have looked me up, I was sooo confused. Can't reply to my message but you can add me on Facebook? So thats where I am now, confused as hell. Does she want to ignore me or talk to me? whats going on? What should I do?
rightondude Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 sounds like she got settled back into "real life" but got curious as to what you're up to. I'm thinking with FB she can watch from afar without having to actually interact with you. Sucks man I hate it for you. 1
preraph Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 Bet she has a boyfriend and is nervous with the phone and texting so putting you on something more public and less likely to raise his eyebrows. Why not just ask her. Say, I notice you are not all in. Sorry I haven't asked before, but do you already have a boyfriend?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 I said screw it and told her I liked her, she said it back. The two of you didn't figure this out when you had sex? She wants to keep you in her orbit, but realized she doesn't want a long distance relationship.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 I agree with preraph, it rather sounds like she is already seeing someone. A girl who is genuinely interested would be excited to communicate with you. This one just isn't. Your one night was fun and she got caught up in it, but she's not very keen to take it any further. 1
Author Green_Eren Posted August 5, 2017 Author Posted August 5, 2017 She does not have a boyfriend actually, a 4yr relationship ended for her 4 months ago when her ex cheated on her.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 She does not have a boyfriend actually, a 4yr relationship ended for her 4 months ago when her ex cheated on her. Perhaps the ex has made an appearance back on the scene. Or maybe she's been dating someone more casually. In any event, her lack of a response to you is all you need to know. Too much work, not worth it.
Author Green_Eren Posted August 5, 2017 Author Posted August 5, 2017 Yeah I was thinking the same.. but why the friend request? thats the part that makes me really confused. If you wanted to ignore someone, you wouldnt take the time to look them up on fb and add them right? strange. How bad of an idea would it be, to make a phone call and just be direct and ask for clarification?
Author Green_Eren Posted August 5, 2017 Author Posted August 5, 2017 Perhaps the ex has made an appearance back on the scene. Or maybe she's been dating someone more casually. In any event, her lack of a response to you is all you need to know. Too much work, not worth it. Yeah I was thinking the same.. but why the friend request? thats the part that makes me really confused. If you wanted to ignore someone, you wouldnt take the time to look them up on fb and add them right? strange. How bad of an idea would it be, to make a phone call and just be direct and ask for clarification?
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 Yeah I was thinking the same.. but why the friend request? thats the part that makes me really confused. If you wanted to ignore someone, you wouldnt take the time to look them up on fb and add them right? strange. How bad of an idea would it be, to make a phone call and just be direct and ask for clarification? Why bother? She has ignored your attempts at direct communication twice. You've only met her once. It's not worth wasting your breath. The FB add is not significant in and of itself. She might just be curious, she might be a social media friend-collector, she might be hoping she can keep you on the backburner for when it suits her. I wouldn't accept the request. Can't be bothered to reply to you, yet wants a glimpse into your personal life? Nah. 2
Author Green_Eren Posted August 5, 2017 Author Posted August 5, 2017 Why bother? She has ignored your attempts at direct communication twice. You've only met her once. It's not worth wasting your breath. The FB add is not significant in and of itself. She might just be curious, she might be a social media friend-collector, she might be hoping she can keep you on the backburner for when it suits her. I wouldn't accept the request. Can't be bothered to reply to you, yet wants a glimpse into your personal life? Nah. Perhaps youre right, its just that its been bugging the crap out of me to try and figure out whats going on. And too late, I accepted it lol (Didn't wanna seem bitter) Only thing that worries me is coming off as desperate if I call her. Normally I would never ever ever fret this much over a girl doing this, but this one, idk I felt a real connection with her that day. I know it sounds dumb, I think part of me was just really happy because I hadn't felt that for someone in a very LONG time, hence why I'm so hung up on it. Either way, the phone call would be my FINAL attempt, the hail mary. Should I A) Ask her to dinner or to hang out like none of this is happening B) Tell her, Hey I like you but im confused at whats going on here C) Ask her, so do you wanna go on the trip yes or no?
preraph Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 She is wanting to keep an open avenue to reach you but right now she's got something else going on, probably back and forth with her ex since they were together that long. Better to let her get freed up.
Author Green_Eren Posted August 5, 2017 Author Posted August 5, 2017 She is wanting to keep an open avenue to reach you but right now she's got something else going on, probably back and forth with her ex since they were together that long. Better to let her get freed up. She explicitly told me she would NEVER go back to him and hasn't done so. She kicked him out of the apartment and even told me that he's seeing some other girl now who she considers a major downgrade. As for as open avenue, she already has my number, wouldnt that be enough to reach me? Why look me up unless she wasnt atleast a bit interested, please tell me if I'm being way too optimistic, I'm honestly just trying to figure this thing out with pure logic here.
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 She explicitly told me she would NEVER go back to him and hasn't done so. She kicked him out of the apartment and even told me that he's seeing some other girl now who she considers a major downgrade. As for as open avenue, she already has my number, wouldnt that be enough to reach me? Why look me up unless she wasnt atleast a bit interested, please tell me if I'm being way too optimistic, I'm honestly just trying to figure this thing out with pure logic here. She might just want to stay in touch to have the ego strokes from you when she wants them. She seems like a player to me from what you've written. 1
Author Green_Eren Posted August 5, 2017 Author Posted August 5, 2017 This is an easy one. Add her to your Facebook list. She obviously has something going on because she doesn't answer your texts anymore, but the friend request shows that she at least wants to keep a connection with you. That's important. She might be too occupied to hook up with you again right now, but there is a good chance something will become of it later. I have a few ladies like this on my FB list. When you least expect it, they will pop up and want to get together. Never fails. So youre saying to just leave it alone? Don't contact her again and ask for clarification? Cause in the likely chance she doesn't want something relationship like with me, I'd still be totally up for having some flings with her lol
hercules22 Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 looks like she wants your attention still you can accept and just unfollow her never view her profile that could drive her mad while just living your life lol
Author Green_Eren Posted August 6, 2017 Author Posted August 6, 2017 So 2 weeks ago I took a road trip with some friends to a big party school to celebrate a friends birthday. We ended up at a pregame party where I met a really cute girl, we hit it off right away and talked a lot. After the party we all came back to her place, long story short, everyone left except me and me and her ended up having sex like at 5am. It seemed like just a one night stand until we started talking alot right afterwards, we were being very very intimate with one another. (cuddling, holding hands, slow kissing and laughing and playing) she told me how smart and good looking she thought I was and I told her the same and she even made me pinky promise to let her visit me New York (I'm moving there for school) The time came for me to leave (Had to hit the road, I live 6 hours away) and she did NOT want me to go, kissed me a ton. I said screw it and told her I liked her, she said it back. She texted first that first night and we started texting, it was going great until she started taking a while to reply, and I mean an entire day each time but she was still replying with alot and kept the convo going. I figured she was busy (She studies ALOT and works ALOT). Then another friend invited me to visit him North Carolina, the city where she lives is on the way and she told me how much she loved travelling so I asked her if she wanted to get picked up on the way and see a few states with me. her exact response: "Omg, that actually sounds amazing! I would love that, when do you think you're going? I told her the dates i had in mind and then she left it on read for 3 days.. no reply. I happened to be in NYC going to my new school orientation, I was bummed out that she wasn't replying cause I actually really liked her. So I said screw it, and sent her a small vid of the statue of liberty and said "Look what I found!" I was trying to spark a new convo with something cool lol. Anyways she left that on READ also for 3 days. So at this point I was confused but took the message loud and clear, so I accepted it and decided to forget about it. But later that same night when I decided to give up on it, she sends me a friend request on facebook, ZERO MUTAL FRIENDS. She had to have looked me up, I was sooo confused. Can't reply to my message but you can add me on Facebook? So thats where I am now, confused as hell. Does she want to ignore me or talk to me? whats going on? What should I do?
bummer Posted August 6, 2017 Posted August 6, 2017 1. she needs to validate you aren't a murderer and facebook is a quick guide. more chattiness to resume shortly. or, more likely, 2. she's setting you adrift slowly, as tends to happen with sex first "relationships". she met super stud vol. 2 already who lives one floor down. she wants to be FB friends so she can build her kill count wall with actual pictures. and because people like lots of friends. makes them feel more awesome. so your move is to play it cool and focus on the tail at your school right?
d0nnivain Posted August 6, 2017 Posted August 6, 2017 Accept the friend request & see what she does next. The ball is clearly in her court. She knows how to get in touch with you & she's resourceful enough to find you. Live your life. Go on your trip. Enjoy your new school. See if she ever pops up. She might not. She may have only wanted a ONS but talked to you about visiting you because she dreams of coming to NYC. Don't wait for her.
LovelyRose Posted August 6, 2017 Posted August 6, 2017 I really don't understand what's up with all the guessing games. We can give you advice on how to approach this situation but in all honesty we dont know her enough. My only advice is follow what your gut is telling you. No matter what you do, whether text her or call her just keep it straight to the point and always be polite and respectful. Do it for yourself so you're not left wondering what went wrong. You wouldn't look or sound desperate if you word it right. She already said yes to the road trip. So just do one last check and ask if she is still interested. Something like, "hey I haven't heard from you..hope everything is ok but I just want to check if you're still interested to come along. Here are the dates that we are going...so let me know if this works for you" On your last attempt if you still get nothing then at least you know you tried. Personally, if someone ignore me like that I just lose interest because that shows they don't care enough. No one is ever that busy to not be able to send one simple message.
Author Green_Eren Posted August 7, 2017 Author Posted August 7, 2017 The two of you didn't figure this out when you had sex? She wants to keep you in her orbit, but realized she doesn't want a long distance relationship. What I mean by "I like you" is that I actually consider her a cool girl I would like to get to know. It's not something I would usually say to a one night stand you know, and yeah I wouldnt want that either but I'd still like to speak to her and see her again someday. I know I must sound foolish, but It seemed like we really did enjoy each others company
ExpatInItaly Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 OP, you barely know this girl. I understand you had a fun night with her, but what you truly know about her is minimal. She might be the type who loves attention and sexual validation, and has more than one guy on the go, without wanting anything more. She might be the type to say she'd never take her ex back, and then the moment he comes around cap in hand, she's putty in his hands. People swear all the time they would never return to an ex, and then what do you know? It happens. The point is that her actions are what you need to pay attention to. You have tried and failed twice to connect with her. She's flaky and too much work. Imagine dating a girl like this? You'd likely be the one to get all ready to go and on the way to meet her when she texts you with a flimsy "soooo sorry, but can we do this another time?" Or to try to arrange a date to see each other but get no reply (oh wait...that's already happened!) She doesn't even have enough respect or maturity to respond to you. That says it all. Yes, it would look desperate if you reach out again. 3
kortz Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I had a very similar situation in the past. Accept the friend request and get on with your life. As others have said these people want to keep a connection with you but at this moment in time they don't want anything more. With the girl this happened to me with, we message every now and then but its now down to once a month now (if that) just to say hi and the conversations don't go very far...initially she seemed very into me, but we met on holiday and don't live in the same place. I do think we'll see each other again as we're both planning to go back to the same place later in the year (not together)...but either way she clearly has other things going on and I won't lose any sleep over it. She may pop up again one day in the future but don't worry yourself thinking about it.
hippychick3 Posted August 7, 2017 Posted August 7, 2017 I would not reach out to her in any way. Unless she gives you an explanation, I wouldn't even accept the friend request (although you probably already have). I would bet $100 she's seeing someone else. Her ignoring your last 2 communication attempts is pretty rude. Even if she's not interested, it's just common decency to respond.
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