sharkiwi Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 (edited) I've been at my job for about 5 years and the guy that I now like Was married when I first met him. He's been divorced for a few years now. At some point within the last 2 years I realized that I liked him. I'm a very shy person and for a while didn't say anything. We've gotten closer and about a year ago I decided to tell him that I liked him. He showed signs of being interested so I decided to put on my big girl pants and text him when he went away for vacation (to another state). About a day later he called me and He said he wasn't looking for anything romantic, but he would like to get to know me better. When he came back he took me to see a movie and we've gone out a few times since. He always pays for everything. About a month ago I got up the nerve to write him a letter telling him that if he's not interested in me he needs to let me know. He seems to be ignoring that letter and my request, since then he's taking me kayaking with him twice and camping with him last weekend. I brought my 8 year old son with me because he suggested it. I usually reserve weekends off from work for my son because he lives with his father and stepmom. I made a habit of everytime I leave this guy after a not date I hug him. He is either really bad at hugging, extremely nervous or can't wait to get away from me. When we were leaving the campsite I wasn't going to hug him because he had taken his shirt off and I thought it would be more awkward, but when I didn't hug him he came up to me I couldn't figure out why he would so I hugged him anyways, I think at that point he did mange to put on a shirt. It was a little less awkward than normal, the hug. I'm told that he is also shy and his marriage was weird. He married a woman from a different country and they had a long distance marriage. I don't know if he's shy, inexperienced or just not interested. I haven't gathered the courage to ask him again about the letter I wrote him. Other people are telling me that I have to be more aggressive and make the moves. I should just ask him why he hasn't said anything about what I asked him in the letter. Edited August 5, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Miss Spider Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 He said he's not interested in anything romantic after you told him you were. I would take him at his word.??
SevenCity Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 Agree. It sounds like you've been put in the dreaded friendzone.
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 (edited) To me, when I hear LDR/foreign country, that screams I don't have any success dating anyone locally due to maybe inexperience/socially awkward/romantically clueless. IMO slooooooooow doooooooooown. Drop the letter thing because it's way way too soon for feelings like that and it's making him very uncomfortable. This is what you do....keep your feelings in check but still show interest and just go with the flow....do not "push" for anything, let him start taking the lead. Be fun and flirty, but with no pressure. If you are relaxed, he will be more relaxed. Now everyone said you were friend zoned. Well after your letter I think he would have told you that he only sees you as a friend BUT he didn't, he just told you he shy/awkward and still messed up over his failed marriage. Guys that are not interested don't come up with personal detailed excuses. Maybe he's just taken a back because he's never had anyone pursue him before and it's making cautious/uncomfortable/unsure. I say give it time, make ot fun for him to be around you. Hey if nothing ever happens at least you made yourself a wonderful friend. Edited August 5, 2017 by smackie9
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