someone18 Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 My 1 year relationship just ended, it was her who broke up if that matters, in the last month we were constantly fighting about us. We know each other about 3 years, we were in the same class and there was always chemistry between us but we never did anything about it, she liked other guy and I was in that age of discovering dating, we aproached each other sometimes but I always ended up run and go to other girls. After 3 times that that happened I was much more grown up and I tried my luck and we started dating, we took vacations together with our families and was all perfect. In the beggining of the relationship I was a cold guy and she was always running after me but with the Passing of time I started to get soft. I always did everything for her and for us, but everytime we fight I was always running after her, I didn’t get mad even if I was right, always trying to make things right, I was a little bit needy and she was the opposite, cold, never tried to make things right and that sparkled so many fights, because I knew I needed to change but everytime we made things right I forgotted that, I was always promising that I would change but she needed to change too but never tried. I tried to change so many times but when I saw that she wasn’t doing the same I started acting like before and that made things worse. I know she loves me but our relationship wasn’t getting healthier so she decided to broke up everything by messages, she was so cold like we didn’t passed anything together, she said she didn’t want to see me and that she doesn’t want to talk to me, she seems well on social media and all of that but end up seeing my instagram stories even after quit following me and send me messages like “why you blocked me and unblocked me ?” And now “why do you followed me on instagram?”. I’m the tipycal nice guy and treated her right all the time because she suffered from an old relationship full of abuses by her ex, we passed by crazy s*** together and experienced everything together for the first time, like she lost her virginity to me and we were the first serious relationship of both, and now she ended up everything. I’m starting to change and figured that I should’ve trusted her more and give her more space but she seems like she doesn’t want anything more with me, and says she’s tired, first she says that is over and that we are following different paths now but then she sents textos like she is trying me remember that she exists. Her mother likes me so much and we always get along perfectly, and she works at the same place and always wanted me around. Today she called me said if I loved my ex I should not give up and try to change and if I do that she will change too. She even asked me to come by their house tomorrow to talk. I know I need to change and I’m starting to do it but I don’t know how to prove her that. I know that now I should give her space to figure things out but i miss her so much and she seems like she’s well but I know that she’s not, her mother told me that out of the blue my ex started crying at dinner when talking about me with her mother. I don’t want to give up because I know that in the end we are the ones for each other, we are very different but at same time we are equal. I know that this is too long but I sincerely don’t know what to do.
spiderowl Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 It is clear that you are both unhappy that you have broken up. It sounds like it wasn't working for her and largely for you. You were having to do a lot of making up. In what way do you both need to change? There are some things people rarely change, can't in fact because they are fundamental characteristics. If either of you are wanting such characteristics to change, then there is no point getting back together because you will fail. You are both bound to feel hurt after a break-up. It does not mean you were meant for each other or that it can work. You need to really evaluate what changes were needed and if they are realistic. Don't get back together just because it is painful parting. Maybe you would both benefit from some relationship counselling as it sounds as if you were just not coping as things were. There is not much point making the same mistakes over and over.
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